Valentines messages

[iangrant]

Would any of these work for you...

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss

but I only slept with you, because I was pissed



I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother



Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.



Of loving beauty you float with grace

If only you could hide your face



Kind, intelligent, loving and hot

This describes everything you are not



I want to feel your sweet embrace

But don't take that paper bag off of your face



I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!



My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you screwed up my life



I see your face when I am dreaming

That's why I always wake up screaming



My love you take my breath away

What have you stepped in to smell this way



My feelings for you no words can tell

Except for maybe "go to hell"



What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime


Please, please, please don't anyone breath a word of this..

Ian

 

[TheHunter]

What a sad, sad world you live in...........................

 

[iangrant]

Thankfully mine is a happy world, just raising a smile, I hope it hasn't offended you..

Ian -

 

[tome]

Well I thought it was funny, though there's not one I'd care (or dare) to use!

 

[iangrant]

Julia,
How are you - awful land sickness at the moment - Asterie is still out!! Other Julia looked nice last Friday..

Ian

 

[tcm]

excellent stuff

did you write these? anyway regardless, very good. I don't think it's sad at all! In fact, black humour is the new maistream, doncha know. Whcih is why er tony blair will win the election, somehow

 

[iangrant]

Re: excellent stuff

Sadly I can't claim them as me own work gov!!

Arrived from a pal this morning so I thought I'd share them with you all..sorry if offensive to some..

Ian

 

[tcm]

Re: excellent stuff

Of course they're offensive - that's the gag. Perhaps sense of humour classes required in some departments. Not worry, tralah.

 

[tome]

Ticking along nicely thanx. Fancy an early pint Sussex?

 

[iangrant]

Yea why not - what time?
Hell it's Friday how are you dressing?
Ian

 

[tome]

Six?

Won't have time to get into weekend gear, but will tell you about our house guest who has!

 

[iangrant]

Ok Mate - may have SWMBO in tow - may not - lots to discuss

Ian

 

[tome]

Great - see you there.

 

[Sgeir]

If talk was criminal
You'd lead a life of crime
Because your mind is on vacation
And your mouth is working overtime

- Mose Allison

 

[paulineb]

Not as sad as having a moron as your president ...... this is of course my personal opinion and does not necessarily reflect that of the management (although I bet it does)

..... and I thought they were funny.

 

[paulineb]

oops... that was for Hunter hahahahaha