TV Bloopers

paulineb

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MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle a male astronomer for
warmth during BBC1's eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out
there,they're rubbing each other and he's come in his shorts."

HERE is Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to
use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen
Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyres on World
Superbikes:"Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he
had a hard on now."

HERE is Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith
Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself
in bed last night."

WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's
formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he
sees."

ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well
Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

DURING the 1989 British Masters golf tournament, commentator Richie
Benaud observed: "Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to
lick their balls on the green."

CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire
match,inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he
just tossed it off."

CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's
nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What
does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today
after a 69."

THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away.
"My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big
race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about
coming from different positions."

STEVE Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The Wild, told Trude:
"There's something big growing between my legs."

CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live
said:"You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

Pxx
 
I was covering the breaking story of Robert Maxwells disappearance. Standing outside his London offices all the journos thrusting their microphones under the nose of the beleagured editor.
'How was Mr Maxwell when you last saw him',I think it was one of the BBC's local hacks
'Oh in buoyant mood 'was the reply.
Well you should have heard the stifled screams of laughter from the assembled mob of 50ish reporters.......!
 
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