Metabarca
Well-Known Member
... let's hope they bear up!
There was a nun who led a completely virtuous life, not once thinking a bad thought, not once swearing, not once bored with telling her rosary. At last she dies, and so virtuous has she been that she shoots off towards paradise at an extraordinary speed. Looking down, St Peter sees her approaching too fast, and he yells out: "Quick, say f@@@@ck or you'll be heading off into orbit!"
---
A chimp and an Irishman are sent off into space and told to open an envelope containing instructions once in orbit. Soon, the chimp opens his, and there's reams of stuff; he immediately sets to work, turning dials, pressing buttons and so on. "Lordy me", thinks the Irishman, "if the chimp's got all that to do, what will my instructions be like?" And he opens the envelope.
Which says...
..
...
"For f@@@ck's sake, don't touch anything. The bananas are in the fridge."
There was a nun who led a completely virtuous life, not once thinking a bad thought, not once swearing, not once bored with telling her rosary. At last she dies, and so virtuous has she been that she shoots off towards paradise at an extraordinary speed. Looking down, St Peter sees her approaching too fast, and he yells out: "Quick, say f@@@@ck or you'll be heading off into orbit!"
---
A chimp and an Irishman are sent off into space and told to open an envelope containing instructions once in orbit. Soon, the chimp opens his, and there's reams of stuff; he immediately sets to work, turning dials, pressing buttons and so on. "Lordy me", thinks the Irishman, "if the chimp's got all that to do, what will my instructions be like?" And he opens the envelope.
Which says...
..
...
"For f@@@ck's sake, don't touch anything. The bananas are in the fridge."