This made me giggle

paulineb

paulineb

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WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY?
(they don't have enough time)

WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

WHY DON'T WOMEN HAVE MEN'S BRAINS
(because they don't have penises to put them in)

WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON?
(they're intended for children, but men usually play with them)

WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
( because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock)

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't ! hump women's legs at cocktail parties)

WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

WHY IS A MAN'S PEE YELLOW AND HIS SPERM WHITE?
(so he can tell if he's coming or going)

HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know...... it never happened)

Pxx
 
WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't ! hump women's legs at cocktail parties)

I must have a dog sized brain because I do, at least once I have a drink or two I do.

http://www.alexander-advertising.co.uk
 
Cool things about being a man:

1. You’re a*s is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's a*s if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work . more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
 
Re: This also made me giggle

An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices
something strange about the wellies that the Irish guy's wearing. She says
to him "Scuse me mate, I ain't bein funny or naffink, but why das one of
your wellies ave an L on it, and the uva one's got an R on it?"

So, the Irish guy smiles, puts down his pint of Guinness and replies,
"Well, oim a little bit tick you see. The one with the R is for me roight foot
and the one with the L is for me left foot."

"Cor, blimey!" exclaims the Essex girl, "So THAT'S why me knickers 'ave
got C&A on them."
 
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