Thieving scroats

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Deleted member 478

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Was in yacht club boozer the other night discussing thieving scroats whilst cruising. One of the wise cruisers has invested in one of those paintball air guns and loads of rounds with red paint. "Looks like blood" he says to me "and the thieving scroats think it is, especially with the sting that comes with being hit by one. Best thing is, you don't kill the farker, but he certainly farks off with haste and none of your assets".

I love it. What does the panel think?
 
a splendid idea. Could we persuade the manufacturers to produce them so each colour of paintball produces a different toxic effect. Then you could have an appropriate response to each 'crime'.

Say harmless green vegetable dye for nicking a fender at high speed on the Jet bike to red rotten eggs hydrogen sulphide for the toad making off with your tender & outboard.

just to keep it boaty you could have orange ones to use in emergency to dye the water surrounding you.
 
Now we're getting somewhere.

How about a horrid colour for scroats that steel your FB pies or drink too much of your whiskey?
 
[ QUOTE ]
Excellent response to those who are on the wrong side of the Coll Regs.

[/ QUOTE ]Problem is you might just pull such a stupid stunt on someone who turns round and responds with a flare into your sails or worse. Remember there is always someone bigger and faster than you and maybe just a little bit crazier. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
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"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity"
sailroom <span style="color:red">The place to auction your previously loved boatie bits</span>
 
Ooh! I like this paintball idea ... but re: to bilbobaggins comment above, for anywhere 'interesting', I would go with 7.62X39mm instead - there are more AK's out there in the back alleys & souks of the world than ammo for nice NATO toys ...
 
On a slightly more serious note, there is a thing called 'smart water' which can be rigged to give scroat a little spray of 'dna coded' water that takes months to wash off. Every person who gets taken into custody is scanned for the stuff. You can also write or paint it on your property. It comes off on the scroats and their hands glow like the Readybrek ads when we scan them!

Very useful for catching then after the event in the U.K.

A cheap way to make them scarper is a 'rape alarm' available cheap from your local crime prevention officer. The type that are activated by pulling a pin out are very easy to rig as intruder alarms and actually hurt your ears in the confines of a boat.

Most intruders will scarper if disturbed.
 
Joshua Slocum used to sprinkle tin-tacks on his decks at night when at anchor .... saw off the thieving natives a treat! You'd have to remember what you'd done if you nipped up for a quick pee at 3 o'clock in the morning though!
 
Have many times considered this - just right for jetskiers and incosiderate wash-makers - a nice line of orange down the side of a sunseeker...!!!
 
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