There but for teh grace of god go I

[Lady_Patricia]

Chap I know took up sailing a couple of years ago. He loves it so much that he wanted his missus to enjoy his new hobby. Went to the trouble and expense of buying a brand new boat with all the luxuries to impress her. It did not work....

In a full and frank exchange of views she told him to stick the boat where the sun don't shine...

What I want to know is what turns the rather attractive young lady we meet when young into the SWMBO who wants to control us rule our lives and prevent us from sailing....

PS mine loves sailing. .....I know how lucky I am....

 

[claymore]

Well, thats a bit of a sweeping statement. Perhaps they are people who have discovered that they really don't like sailing. No law against it - its just a pity when people 'go along with' someones hobbies either to impress or in the hope that they'll eventually enjoy it themselves, then discover that they don't. Sometimes they get hitched to people who aren't very good themselves and scare them. My wife was a keen sailor when we met, our offspring lived under the golden rule that they were allowed to not enjoy sailing and that it wasn't a compulsory activity. Perhaps your friend needs to discuss compromises without recriminations so that he can go sailing and his partner do what she wants?

regards
JohnS

 

[Guest]

Hmmm. My Missus was dead set against sailing but after ten years of me going on holiday on the boat with my son (from age 18months) and various mates, and racing most weekends she decided that she had better join in.

I had a boat when she married me so it wasn't a bolt from the blue.

It's a two edged sword... e.g. she wants the boat clean on the inside! On the other hand birthdays, christmas etc is dead easy.... sailing jacket, sailing gloves, new spinnaker (I'm going to surprise her with the last one on our anniversary later this month; can't wait to see her face light up!).

 

[jimi]

Maybe the same thing that turns the handsome young chappie into the fat bald control freak!

 

[claymore]

Ooof!

regards
JohnS

 

[DanTribe]

What a strange co-incidence.My wife got a spinnaker for an anniversery present too. I couldn't get a silver one though.
This year I think she would like a new Portta potti.I know I spoil her but I'm just an old romantic.

 

[PeterGibbs]

Re: More grace and more cunning, I say!

Isn't it so often to do with this thing called personal space. When she's on the boat she most often has no such space. He's giving the orders etc. After a while the effect is corrosive - what'd you say, Mr Christian? Symptoms - moaning and a measure of mal de mer, psychosomatic or real.

Answer - give her as much say as possible. Put her on the wheel. Be over democratic, by your standards, and you might just be getting it right.

Why do I say this? I tried it both ways, and the latter really does work!

PWG

 

[Guest]

Heathcliff v Horatio

I think we know which type our wives would rather us be and it ain't Horatio.

Unfortunately our format of romance differs somewhat from their's. It's probably all our fault.

 

[summerwind]

I married Miss Right - I just didn't know at the time that her first name was Allways.

 

[vyv_cox]

My wife has had an anchor for her birthday - twice! Two years ago we bought ourselves a genoa winch each.

 

[jimi]

So did I ... but they were'nt really functional, they were gold earings bought in Bodrum whilst on a bareboat charter in the area!

 

[pugwash]

Re: More grace and more cunning, I say!

Couldn't agree more. Let her "drive" as much as possible but make it clear navigation instructions are nothing to do with back-seat driving. Same with kids. The more you get your crew involved the more they enjoy it. Just sit on your pushpit and puff your pipe and be ready with a steadying hand.