The truth about raggies? (Humour?)

[coliholic]

Four raggies were sitting around in the bar sharing a half of bitter one windless afternoon as they are wont to do. One of them got his purse out and went off to settle the bar bill and the other three started bragging about their sons.

The first man told the others, "My son is a builder and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new house for free."

The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a Mercedes dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes, with all the extras."

The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio."

The fourth man joined them after a few minutes of taking care of business and the first man mentioned, "We are just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"

The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay bar."

The three friends looked down at their glasses and sniggered. The fourth man carried on, "Admittedly I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing pretty good. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio.

 

[oldgit]

Nice..........Best one i have read in ages

Oooh look its still not dark and its nearly 5pm

 

[mtb]

Now I know where I've heard that clicking sound !! in the bar at PinMill ..... at Raggie happy ten mins ....
Mind you never a queue to get to the bar ...



smile you'l be on your boat soon ;-)
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats/>http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats/</A>

 

[DavidJ]

I've just looked at your website. An amazing project you have there. I wish you all the best...Is it at Pin Mill?
David

 

[kingfisher]

The kids are sitting in class for the first day of school and the teacher asks each of the children a few questions to get to know them. When asked what their fathers do, a few reply that their father works at an office, other dads are police officers, fireman, the lot. Only little Johny doesn't answer.

"Well, Johny, what does you daddy do?" asks the teacher.
Johny, still reluctant to answer, blurts out: "He's a male prostitute" The teacher immediately goes red in the face and ends the question time.

During the break, the teacher approaches Johny. "Well Johny, is your father really a male prostitute?"
"No" answers Johny"But I'm not going to admit in front of the whole class that my daddy drives a motor boat"

Group of people on the pontoon: skipper is the one with the toolbox.
http://sirocco31.tripod.com

 

[ccscott49]

Please don't tell my mother I work in the oilfield, she thinks I'm a piano player in a whorehouse!

 

[mtb]

No David I keep her at Fosdyke / up the Welland The Wash
Yes she is a proper project some thing to get your teeth into, I step onto her deck and smile .
I had a boat on a swinging mooring at PinMill a couple of years ago, I love the place especially when the Thames barges race each other . Mind you we never caught any fish .

Cheers
Mick

smile you'l be on your boat soon ;-)
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats/>http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats/</A>

 

[claymore]

Sheikh Allar Akbar el Khartoumi - wealthiest man in the world
Son has 16th Birthday - dad buys him a Harley Davidson
Son Has 18th Birthday - dad buys him ferrari
Son coming up to 21 - Dad says - "21 soon, my son - what would you like for your Birthday"?
"Well Dad, I'd really like a cowboy outfit"

The Sheik buys him the motorboaty forum.

regards
Claymore

 

[sailbadthesinner]

that me me larf that did. excellent one


Ok brain let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

 

[tcm]

Ooh. Are these forums buyable then? Can I make a bid for scuttlebutt? I'll offer a fiver, and if you don't accept I'll send the boys round to bash you up. Oops, forgot to mention, it's a hostile bid.

 

[claymore]

Listen Buster
We regularly have competitions where I end up giving more than that to the RNLI so hostile or no - you're going to have to dig deeper if you want the ceegar - get my drift?

regards
Claymore

 

[NorthernWave]

2 raggies find a mirror on a beach, 1st raggie looks in it and says 'I know that face but I can't put a name to it?' 2nd raggie looks in it and said 'You blooming idiot it's me!!'

Chris

Logged Sea Miles wanted for masters. Send PM if your on south coast and want skipper or crew.

 

[Viking]

Re: \'THE\' truth about raggies!

We are all good, cheerful, happy, wonderful people! and modest, which of course goes without saying.

 

[kingfisher]

MoBo2 is driving his Porsche 911 on the M4, when all of a sudden he sees MoBo1 standing alongside his own Porsche 911, waving his MoBo flagy. Of course, MoBo2 stops to lend a hand.
"What's the problem?
"I dunno, she won't start"
They try to start the car, but nothing.
So they decide to try and fix it themselves (for their boats, they would have called the RNLI). They open the the front hood.
"I can't believe it, the b*st*rds nicked me engine!"
"Don't worry" said Mobo2 "I've got a spare one in the back"


Group of people on the pontoon: skipper is the one with the toolbox.
http://sirocco31.tripod.com

 

[mtb]

Did you manage that all on your own ? you can have a well done sticker


smile you'l be on your boat soon ;-)
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats/>http://homepage.ntlworld.com/boats/</A>

 

[Trevor_swfyc]

Its sad that we have to run each other down here.

Why not wait until we are on the water!

Seriously the truth is if anybody needs assistance its there no problem no matter what boat your in.

Trevor

 

[miket]

Well said.

 

[Divemaster1]

Sharkhunting - to fuel the debate

On a tour, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to visit a coastal town on an impromptu sightseeing trip.

His 4X4 Popemobile was driving along the golden sands when there was an enormous commotion heard just off the headland. They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed just outside the surf, a hapless man, obviously a Raggie from the upturned sailing boat, struggling frantically
to free himself from the jaws of a twenty-foot shark.

At that moment a speedboat containing three men roared into view from around the point. Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the shark's ribs, immobilizing it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled the Raggie from the water and then, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.

They bundled the bleeding, semi conscious man into the speedboat along with the dead shark and then prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was of course the Pope, and he summoned them to the beach.

Upon them reaching the shore the Pope went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there were some racist xenophobic people trying to divide the MOBO’s and Raggies, but now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see
that your society is a truly enlightened example of racial harmony and could serve as a model on which other people could follow."

He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.

As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others, "Who was that???!"

”That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."

"Well," the harpoonist replied, "he knows f--- all about shark hunting.
How's that bait holding up or do we need to get another one?"


Alf

 

[Viking]

Raggie sitting quietly in his cockpit, when the MOBO in the next berth appears in his cockpit covered in oil, "What do you do when you break down?" asked the MOBO. "Call the wife and tell her to get needle and thread out" replied the raggie.

 

[Skyva_2]

Raggie and a MOBO left harbour on the same tide.

After few minutes, voices came from the motor boat - 'When do we get there?'

Voice from the sailing boat ' We are there already.'