SeaAce
New member
THE RULES
1. The FEMALE always makes the rules
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No MALE can possibly know all the Rules.
4. If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all the Rules, she must immediately change some or all of them.
5. The FEMALE is never wrong.
6. If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.
7. If Rule 6 applies, the MALE must apologise IMMEDIATELY for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.
9. The MALE must NEVER change his mind without the expressed written consent of the FEMALE.
10. The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The FEMALE must under no circumstances let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The MALE is expected to be a mind reader at all times.
14. The MALE who doesn’t abide by the Rules can’t take the heat, lacks backbone and is a wimp.
15. Any attempt to document the Rules could result in bodily harm.
16. If the FEMALE has PMS, all the Rules are null and void.
17. The FEMALE is ready when she is ready.
18. The MALE must be ready at all times.
RULES THAT GUYS WISHED WOMEN KNEW
01. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
02. Learn to work the toilet seat, if it is up, put it down.
03. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
04. Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
05. Get rid of your cat.
06. Sunday = sports.
07. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
08. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
09. You have too many shoes.
10. Crying is blackmail.
11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than pissing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
18. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
21. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
22. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
23. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
1. The FEMALE always makes the rules
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No MALE can possibly know all the Rules.
4. If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all the Rules, she must immediately change some or all of them.
5. The FEMALE is never wrong.
6. If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.
7. If Rule 6 applies, the MALE must apologise IMMEDIATELY for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.
9. The MALE must NEVER change his mind without the expressed written consent of the FEMALE.
10. The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The FEMALE must under no circumstances let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The MALE is expected to be a mind reader at all times.
14. The MALE who doesn’t abide by the Rules can’t take the heat, lacks backbone and is a wimp.
15. Any attempt to document the Rules could result in bodily harm.
16. If the FEMALE has PMS, all the Rules are null and void.
17. The FEMALE is ready when she is ready.
18. The MALE must be ready at all times.
RULES THAT GUYS WISHED WOMEN KNEW
01. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
02. Learn to work the toilet seat, if it is up, put it down.
03. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
04. Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
05. Get rid of your cat.
06. Sunday = sports.
07. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
08. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
09. You have too many shoes.
10. Crying is blackmail.
11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than pissing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
18. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
21. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
22. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
23. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.