The perfect boat.

oldgit

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6 Nov 2001
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Oldgit totally wishes to retract everything he has ever posted about all modern well designed craft every one of which has been designed by a experienced marine architect.That little plastic protrusion to cover the anchor is not the equivilent of a floral toilet roll cover.A dozen swoopy windows is far far better than a single one that opens and lets light and fresh air in.A lumpy bulge tacked on to the hull twixt midships and the aft quarters can only add to the purity of line and does not look like you have been to Halfords Vauxhall DIY section .Curvy narrow side decks will not get you all bothered when you have to go forward when its a bit lumpy.White carpet never ever gets dirty.Highly polished floors will not ever get slippy or scratched.
Electrics and water do mix in fact the more electric bogs the better and as many electric motors as possible.If the boat cannot berth any where other than a marina all the better.The hull shape must be such that it is impossible to control even in a light breeze without at the very least 4 x stern/bow thrusters.Under no circumstances can the boat be used at under 30 knots without subjecting the owner to severe talking to from fellow berth owners.Boat must be capable of using absolute minimum of 40 GPH and creating vast wash to annoy the other 99% of water users.
Have I missed anything. /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
 

gonfishing

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21 Jan 2003
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Unneccessary noise levels. Designed to create as large a wash at the slowest speed possible. Get dirty immediately after cleaning /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gifEngine failure at the crucial moment in manouvering, all these are worthy attributes to a perfect boat.
 

rich

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Blue Flag,,.oops forgot how to spell nsine,,, /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif aaaaaaaaand before you all start,,,I use mine to cover the dash board /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 

[2068]

...
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Can I just add to the list:
- Main battery switch box mounted directly below the engine air intake
- Calorifier designed to fail after 3 seasons
- Cockpit carpet that disintegrates after 3 seasons
- Fuel sender that requires cutting a hole in the deck to replace
- Porous anchor locker (into cabin)
- Fuel filler cap that drops into briny due to crap retaining chain
- Electric screwdriver that drops into briny due to operator incompetance
- Stupid anchor "beak" that just adds to marina bill
 

MapisM

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11 Mar 2002
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A touch of style:

a big, shiny, coloured and back lighted name. Possibly an exotic one. /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif
What's the point in having a perfect boat, if it isn't unmistakably recognisable in crowded marinas?
 

oldgit

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6 Nov 2001
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Not forgetting.........

a forehatch specially designed to retain a small but not insignificant amount of water that when opened during the day will dribble onto the bedroom duvet, which will not be noticed until you go to bed that evening a bit pissed and you will be worrying where the damp bit came from.
 
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