The New Studland Anchor

[savageseadog]

There's a new anchor design been developed. Not only does it have a massively increased holding power of CQR's, Danforths, Rocnas etc, it's designed with marine conservation in mind. Built into the anchor are revolutionary hollows that prevent seahorses from being injured and indeed if you anchor for long enough seahorses can use the hollows for nesting purposes enabling the caring yachtsman or woman to propagate new generations of seahorses as you enjoy your barbie. All enquiries to Seahorse Marine Developments.

 

[AuntyRinum]

How do you solve the problem of squashing seahorses when it's dropped?

 

[Eyore]

No, just checked. Its definitely April 4th.

 

[sarabande]

How do you solve the problem of squashing seahorses when it's dropped?

The designers have done Finite Probability Analysis on this.

According to the Seahorse Trust, there are 17 confirmed seahorses within the 1 hectare of the recreational anchorage. That is a distribution of 1 seahorse to every 588.24 square metres.

Given a footprint of 0.08 square metres for the revolutionary anchor to drop on, that means there is a chance of 1 in 7352.9 of the anchor landing on a seahorse (or should it be seahearse).

Now I have it on good authority that Maitland-Gubbins and his acolytes are so thrilled with the new anchor, that they have volunteered to dive and stay on the seabed whilst 7353 assorted mobos and raggies drop anchors on them, to correlate the statistics.

Defra and the Marine Conversation Authority have said that the risk of a seahorse being squashed is acceptable, and in any case, there will be an element of recycling, as the exoskeleton and the innards will be eaten by scallops, and the resulting increased faecal output will then provide more nutrients for the remaining 16 beasties.


BTW, these Studlands are the first maritime product that I am aware of, which have been made using state of the fart 3D printing. Saveage Sea Dog will in time confirm that the plastics used for the new anchors are UV resistant, and with the addition of powdered depleted uranium (to increase the density), will have a lighter ecological impact than standard steel units.


I commend these anchors to the Forum.

 

[chewi]

Given a footprint of 0.08 square metres for the revolutionary anchor to drop on, that means there is a chance of 1 in 7352.9 of the anchor landing on a seahorse (or should it be seahearse).
.

Given that the seahorses move into the hollows designed for them in the anchor, theres a slightly bigger than negligible risk they'll get squashed next time you deploy it, that's if they didn't die of starvation in the intervening months while waiting in the anchor locker.


I commend my Seahorse-safe CQR, with no hidey holes, and a pointed end that suggests seahorses "go elsewhere" before they get squashed.

I suppose I could fit an audible alarm "Warning!, Anchor descending" in my best Seahorse-ese accent.

 

[stuartwineberg]

Sorry - this is all rubbish. We at Rackna eco anchors known globally as the most wildlife friendly anchoring device have done extensive tests which have only been suspended because a seahorse leaned on the shank of one of our Chinese prototypes and bent it

 

[James_Calvert]

Love the thread. Just awaiting the poster previously disconnected from NZ/ Chinese anchors and it will be complete!

 

[KellysEye]

>Sorry - this is all rubbish. We at Rackna eco anchors known globally as the most wildlife friendly anchoring device have done extensive tests which have only been suspended because a seahorse leaned on the shank of one of our Chinese prototypes and bent it

Classic, that's the funniest thing I've read for ages, thank you.

 

[kengill]

Poor performance such as you suggest can easily be overcome by the simple detonation of a mere 20kgs of TABT moulded to the upper surface of the anchor. This remarkably stable explosive takes a significant force to enable it to detonate and thus force the anchor significantly below the surface. One can then pick up ones dinner from the surface of the sea! In the event of a failure to detonate the additional weight acts as a chum and keeps the anchor secure.

One does have to allow some drift before detonating however.

 

[wiggy]

I've painted the tip of my anchor orange (found in a recent survey to be most hated colour by Studland sea horses, 73% of sea horses asked said they didn't like orange). The hope is that as the anchor descends the little darlings will run away and avoid being pierced by its tip.

 

[Tony Cross]

Dunno why you don't just use skyhooks, it would stop all that anchor nonsense.

 

[KellysEye]

>Poor performance such as you suggest can easily be overcome by the simple detonation of a mere 20kgs of TABT moulded to the upper surface of the anchor. This remarkably stable explosive takes a significant force to enable it to detonate and thus force the anchor significantly below the surface. One can then pick up ones dinner from the surface of the sea! In the event of a failure to detonate the additional weight acts as a chum and keeps the anchor secure. One does have to allow some drift before detonating however.

Another brilliant one please keep them coming.

 

[onesea]

All these issues of sea-grass and environmentalists, there is a solution that will resolve the issues for all...

This Navus bay wind-farm is such an a concern for tourists and yachts men alike, lets move it. It could easily be moved a few miles north west into Studland bay the shallow water and proximity to the coast must reduce the installation costs and damage done to the seabed due to sub sea cables....

The environmentalists, will be please to increase the green credentials in their infamous bay. The pile would supply shelter for the grass to grow and to protect the seahorses. The Divers looking for seahorses would be able know that pile 4 is favored by the seahorses in June but number 32 in the winter. There photos could include individual markings on the piles removing the need to Tag the seahorses for there location.

The naturists will be happy with the turbines slowing the wind so there beach will not be so cool on those marginal days.

The 100's of rich yachtsmen would be able to tie for and aft between the piles with immediate supply for electricity to supply TV's internet fridges and heating. This would also result in less call outs for the RNLI.

There is even no need to continue the anchor debate on the forums about seahorse safe anchors...
The plans are already well in progress we already have an artists impression.

Its a win win for all concerned so lets make it happen :encouragement:

 

[stuartwineberg]

Scarily you could almost believe this one makes sense - nicely lateral

All these issues of sea-grass and environmentalists, there is a solution that will resolve the issues for all...

This Navus bay wind-farm is such an a concern for tourists and yachts men alike, lets move it. It could easily be moved a few miles north west into Studland bay the shallow water and proximity to the coast must reduce the installation costs and damage done to the seabed due to sub sea cables....

The environmentalists, will be please to increase the green credentials in their infamous bay. The pile would supply shelter for the grass to grow and to protect the seahorses. The Divers looking for seahorses would be able know that pile 4 is favored by the seahorses in June but number 32 in the winter. There photos could include individual markings on the piles removing the need to Tag the seahorses for there location.

The naturists will be happy with the turbines slowing the wind so there beach will not be so cool on those marginal days.

The 100's of rich yachtsmen would be able to tie for and aft between the piles with immediate supply for electricity to supply TV's internet fridges and heating. This would also result in less call outs for the RNLI.

There is even no need to continue the anchor debate on the forums about seahorse safe anchors...
The plans are already well in progress we already have an artists impression.

Its a win win for all concerned so lets make it happen :encouragement:

 

[Boathook]

All these issues of sea-grass and environmentalists, there is a solution that will resolve the issues for all...

This Navus bay wind-farm is such an a concern for tourists and yachts men alike, lets move it. It could easily be moved a few miles north west into Studland bay the shallow water and proximity to the coast must reduce the installation costs and damage done to the seabed due to sub sea cables....

The environmentalists, will be please to increase the green credentials in their infamous bay. The pile would supply shelter for the grass to grow and to protect the seahorses. The Divers looking for seahorses would be able know that pile 4 is favored by the seahorses in June but number 32 in the winter. There photos could include individual markings on the piles removing the need to Tag the seahorses for there location.

The naturists will be happy with the turbines slowing the wind so there beach will not be so cool on those marginal days.

The 100's of rich yachtsmen would be able to tie for and aft between the piles with immediate supply for electricity to supply TV's internet fridges and heating. This would also result in less call outs for the RNLI.

There is even no need to continue the anchor debate on the forums about seahorse safe anchors...
The plans are already well in progress we already have an artists impression.

Its a win win for all concerned so lets make it happen :encouragement:

I'm not to keen on fore/aft mooring so will some be available so that my boat can lie to the wind? The installation costs of hese will be cheap compared with deeper water as they will be able to drive the machinery out from the beach. Hopefully this will lead to cheaper electricity.