Thames Tales

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Maestro

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Hi all,
I'm a boating Newbie and due to this I'm not afraid to admit to mistakes I have made during my first year navigating the Thames (probaby due to me having a low embarrasment threshold due to my lack of experience!).

I thought I'd start this thread for us to share are funny experiences, for two reasons, to educate and increase banter!

Last Summer, on my first major cruise (Reading to Windsor) I came to the presumption that the two fuel level indicators on my new boat purchase worked fine, one showed nearly empty and one full (giving me around 35 Gallons). With just me and my two kids (dad showing off his new divorced single and boat owner staus) we heading down to Windsor where I was planning to take the kids to meet the Queen (I like to build their expectation levels!).

Mid way through our trip, disaster struck, I first lost one engine due to lack of fuel and hoped I could "Limp" to Henley to fill up. Alas barely 10 Mins later the second engine conked out with the fuel level going from full to empty in the flip of an egg (a raw egg I must point out as I had also ran out of gas during breakfast to my kids disgust!).

So there I was, floating down the thames with no "Emergency paddles" (Lesson No 3 learnt) at the mercy of the river. With a bump I "Moored" at a rather large house with magnificent gardens and an abundance of "Private grounds keep out" signs.

Once my kids had stopped grilling me for being a rubbish dad and skipper for running out of gas/fuel and pride I tied her up and decided to knock on the house owners door to ask for assistance. The door was answered by the owners gardiner and after I pleaded my case and (using the kids as emotional black mail) he offered to drive me to the local petrol station where I could buy a Jerry can (Lesson No 4) and fuel.

Turns out, the house I landed at was owned my a Mr Paul Daniels! I did wonder why there was huge concrete rabbits all aroud the building... After putting in 20l and thanking his staff (who decided my kids needed attention) I managed to crawl to Hobbs and fill her up.

After spending a fotune on the kids during their trip (Legoland/Thorpe Park Ect) the story they tell during the week trip was my embarrasing day and meeting Mr Daniels White Rabbits (he had a collection running aroung the back garden!)

I'm sure you lot of seasoned Vets have many more quips!

Then,
 
Maestro said:
being a rubbish dad and skipper for running out of gas/fuel and pride
Click to expand...

You're clearly a rubbish skipper, but I can't comment on the rubbish dad having decided that re-grilled kebab meat makes a perfectly acceptable substitute for bacon when I was freshly divorced... :)
 
Ropes in locks

Moxon said:
Just before passing a rope to the lock keeper it is prudent to ensure that the other end is tied to ones boat.
Click to expand...

There have been cases where boaters have realised, when they are just about to throw a rope, that a dog is attached to the other end.

One hire boat a couple of years ago was about to throw a lockkeeper a line with a large mooring stake still attached to it... luckily the lockkeeper spotted the hazard and shouted at the man to stop him throwing it (and the hirer could not understand what the problem was)
 
This is unfair -

'cos it was The management's mistake (she laughs at it now - as I remind her every time we pass)

Coming upstream on the Mapledurham reach, we were trailing a *** weaving and pottering around the channel, oblivious of anyone else.
Approaching the lock, said Management spots a clear channel between the island and the offending potterer, she decides to take the nearside channel and increases speed.

Approaching the head of said island we slide ignominiously onto the spit while still in full ahead mode.

It took an awful lot of forward / reverse power to back out.

We've renamed the island as "Caroline's Eyot" - AFAIK and according to Chris C-Smith's book it doesn't have a name.

That's the joy of a LTTT slides over most obstacles without any damage.
 
I spent the night before one of my GCSE exams , can't remember which , aground with our very own Richard Shead in Syon Reach , just below Richmond.

Made for an interesting day the next day.
 
I also lost a whole radar arch off a GB42 just this side of Tower Bridge about 15 years ago. I was on a delivery trip with a friend of my fathers.

The stainless arch was bolted to the centre mast that you find on the flybridge of the GB's.

It all pivoted on the folding hinge of the mast. Not on the sides of the arch like you would expect. Anyway , we went to lift it and it twisted , snapped and disappeared over the side in about 2 seconds flat.

There was a couple of moments of stunned silence as we looked at one another 'Did that really just happen ?'

Anyway , we carried on to Flushing and delivered the boat , nothing was said , so i presume it was ok in the end. I was desperately seasick on the way over , to the point where i was laying on the floor of the front cabin praying for death.
 
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