tcm
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TCM\'s B+Q record attempt report #2
B&Q Kitchen-installing record attempt
KEY DATA DAY 36 1410 GMT: 2 days 12 hours 36 minutes ahead of Frank Jones’s record of instaling a kitchen in 72 days
Lat/Long: the kitchen
Average cups of coffee per day: 15.7
Record number of moans and whinges in a 24 hour period : 418
IN BRIEF:
*TCM continues to muck about installing a B&Q kitchen, whilst whingeing. He’s now a full two and a half days ahead of the record set by his neighbour Frank Jones last year.
*TCM rang up DATELINE, and then had another cup of coffee to celebrate.
IN DETAIL:
Excerpts from satellite phone call from TCM, who rings us every ten minutes
You’re two days ahead, so that’s good isn’t it?
Overall, things are going quite well. However, I’m really cold here, almost all the time. I suppose it’s because it is actually very cold, which may in turn have something to do with the fact that I started a large DIY project in the middle of winter, turned all the heating off, opened all the windows and then go outside a lot, especially when it’s dark, cold, and raining.
No problems to worry about, though?
The other day, the mobile phone packed up. I can’t think what’s gone wrong, and it’s all very stressful for me, very stressful indeed. Obviously, I need the phone in order to ring up people and complain about the phone not working amongst other things, and discuss packing it all in from time to time, so I have a backup, but then that failed as well. I can’t think what the problem is. I prepared it all carefully beforehand by writing it’s name “Terry” on the side of it and “Derrick” on the side of the drill as well. However, I magically and mysteriously fixed both phones inside a couple of hours, and they’ve worked perfectly ever since. It was probably the turning them off that caused the problem, and it seems that turning them on again fixed it.
Moan Moan Moan
"Worst of all, it’s very kitchen-like, here in the kitchen, with just me and acres of kitchen-ness and nobody else, just the kitchen. Sometimes, there’s lots and lots of kitchen equipment from all sides, and it all gets too much, which is very stressful for me. But then at other times it’s not kitchen-like enough, and again, it’s very stressful for me. I suppose it’s all part of having started a project entirely based in the kitchen, which itself causes a lot of stress."
Webmaster takes another valium
"Yes, I’m on target but it’s far far too early to start thinking about finishing yet, or even begin to sound in the least bit positive or cheerful about anything. I might be several days ahead of a record time, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to sound fairly miserable up until the moment I finish and probably long after, especially on telly, if I finish at all of course, because nothing’s guaranteed, nothing at all."
B&Q Kitchen-installing record attempt
KEY DATA DAY 36 1410 GMT: 2 days 12 hours 36 minutes ahead of Frank Jones’s record of instaling a kitchen in 72 days
Lat/Long: the kitchen
Average cups of coffee per day: 15.7
Record number of moans and whinges in a 24 hour period : 418
IN BRIEF:
*TCM continues to muck about installing a B&Q kitchen, whilst whingeing. He’s now a full two and a half days ahead of the record set by his neighbour Frank Jones last year.
*TCM rang up DATELINE, and then had another cup of coffee to celebrate.
IN DETAIL:
Excerpts from satellite phone call from TCM, who rings us every ten minutes
You’re two days ahead, so that’s good isn’t it?
Overall, things are going quite well. However, I’m really cold here, almost all the time. I suppose it’s because it is actually very cold, which may in turn have something to do with the fact that I started a large DIY project in the middle of winter, turned all the heating off, opened all the windows and then go outside a lot, especially when it’s dark, cold, and raining.
No problems to worry about, though?
The other day, the mobile phone packed up. I can’t think what’s gone wrong, and it’s all very stressful for me, very stressful indeed. Obviously, I need the phone in order to ring up people and complain about the phone not working amongst other things, and discuss packing it all in from time to time, so I have a backup, but then that failed as well. I can’t think what the problem is. I prepared it all carefully beforehand by writing it’s name “Terry” on the side of it and “Derrick” on the side of the drill as well. However, I magically and mysteriously fixed both phones inside a couple of hours, and they’ve worked perfectly ever since. It was probably the turning them off that caused the problem, and it seems that turning them on again fixed it.
Moan Moan Moan
"Worst of all, it’s very kitchen-like, here in the kitchen, with just me and acres of kitchen-ness and nobody else, just the kitchen. Sometimes, there’s lots and lots of kitchen equipment from all sides, and it all gets too much, which is very stressful for me. But then at other times it’s not kitchen-like enough, and again, it’s very stressful for me. I suppose it’s all part of having started a project entirely based in the kitchen, which itself causes a lot of stress."
Webmaster takes another valium
"Yes, I’m on target but it’s far far too early to start thinking about finishing yet, or even begin to sound in the least bit positive or cheerful about anything. I might be several days ahead of a record time, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to sound fairly miserable up until the moment I finish and probably long after, especially on telly, if I finish at all of course, because nothing’s guaranteed, nothing at all."
