TCM goes World Cruising


11 Jan 2002
Caribbean at the moment
I’ve decided to become a world-cruising liveaboard type. Hurrah! However, SWMBO isn’t too keen on this, and seeing as how there aren’t any nice restaurants in the whole of North and S America, I must say I’ve had second thoughts.

So! Instead of actually going ahead with the uncomfortableness of blue water sailing, plus the financial hassle, health worries and so on, I have decided to confine my world cruise to the marina, and a few places nearby, and come back in most nights, as before.

BUT of course, it’s still a world cruise. So I still get to do the main thing that all cruisers get to do – Write A Web Log, and praps turn it into a book! As anyone knows, this is the main attraction of world cruising. In fact, as far as I can make out, it’s the primary aim. What’s the point of visiting places if you can’t crow about it ooh yes we went to this place and blah blah there and we only like this bit of the caribbean and so on. And guess where we are now? Well, shut up, I say. There’s so many people cruising around the world, they are all bound to come past me sooner or later thereby saving me all that effort and expense.

Do you think you could do this? Hm? Of course you could! All that you need is the gumption to be World Cruiser but WITHOUT all the pressure and rat-race mentality of interminably sailing very long distances.

Motivation Musings
This first bit of my website/book will be devoted to the wanderlust, my free spirit and openmindedness to discover other cultures and visit far-flung places. There won’t be ANY references to the fact that I’m a bit rubbish at my job, there’s a few redundancies in the offing, I’ve been passed over for promotion dozens of times by those bastards, and I’m rather skint. Even though it’s all true.

The Right Choice of Boat
This section of the website , and the first 20 pages of the book, will discuss all the options and choices available from my lofty position of World Cruising Expert. Gradually, the arguments will focus upon the fact that my boat is as close to perfect as is possible, whereas yours – although not exactly poxy - is much less wise and less safe. Oh yes, no doubt about it, and here’s a diagram to prove it.

However, if my boat is palpably shite and/or very small, then I will include lots of ancillary arguments referring to other cruising boats who have circumnavigated in a teatray, a dustbin or skip, in order to make my choice seem that much more wise, rather than a piece of junk i got cheap from a yard near Lymington.

Poetry section
This section will be written after I’ve had a skinful. Oh, I’ve never written any poetry or thoughtful prose in the past - but now, see, I’m a blue water saily type, with salt in my veins, the wind in my hair and the next horizon is my back garden. Alright, front garden I suppose. Anyway, there’ll be witty or amusing or deep thoughts aplenty here, and I may splatter them around the book to make me seem entirely at peace, and very wise. It certainly won’t say, “yeah, well, I just thought i know – I'll just clear off in a boat, I bet that would be nice”. Certainly not. I will make out that I have been inspired by Kipling since boyhood.

Friends we’ll miss
My mate john has a boat on the same pontoon, and I must say we’ll miss him. However, he’s just going out to anchor in the bay, so we’ll see him later in the day. It’s a good job he’s not going miles away to somewhere ghastly like Patagonia. Mind you, if he did, then what? Soddim eh? After all, there’s not much point in long goodbyes cos we’d be unlikely to clap eyes on him ever again as long as we live.

Although this section will be really boring, with list of eggs and stuff, it will lure you in to the actual process of planning a long long trip. It’ll include information about how useful eggs are, how many sodding clothes pegs you need, and where to keep tins or cheap food. I might easily also include lists of tools and bits and bobs as well, which again makes it all look good and preplanned.

Fortunately, for my own “trip” I have arranged for all the local supermarkets and restaurants to look after the food until we need to eat it. All I need is a credit card, and if I’ve lost it yet again, then the wife’s credit card will do.

Route planning

Another easy section as it involves plagiarizing Jimmy Cornell. Bit of med, atlantic, Caribbean, yadayadah this is bit samey innit? I have been across the atlantic several times, and I’ve always found that the safest equipment to take along is several jet engines, four if possible.

The Axshul Log

Usual cruising logs are like this:

July: bummed around fixing the boat

August : went somewhere else and ooer bit of a storm. Nice palm trees here (pic). Here’s a picture of us in a restaurant. Yes! - a flippin restaurant –so unusual to eat proper food that we took 15 pictures of it!

September to following June : more bumming around swapping paperbacks. Pics of deserted out-of season harbour.

Next July: went somewhere 10 miles away down the coast which is dead cheap cos the money is running out

August –following Feb : used a tin of varnish on things.

And so on.

None of this for me! The boat will stay exactly in the same place most of the time – just like the world cruising types but at least I won’t have the burden of feeling that I ought to get going somewhere else cos I’ve been here for ages.

Best of all, I can whiz around in a car to get stuff, whereas world cruisy books hardly make any references to using cars of motorbikes or airplanes, largely cos of the aforementioned and self-imposed skintness.

All in all, you can see that going off in a boat long term is a Bad Idea. The boat deteriorates very badly, and eventually the owners look like scarecrows with malnutrition. Of course, they can’t say this cos they’d never sell the book. So this sort of world cruising - and not going very far at all - is just perfect.

The inside covers will have a map of the world with little dotted lines around. None of these have any bearing on where I’ve been, but it looks the part.

I'm off skiing now, back next week.


Active member
9 Jul 2001
Glad you've got that off your chest - better out than in.

You've forgotten the most important bits though which (apart from being rubbish at job etc) are the reasons for escaping the rat race and that UK is going to the dogs. Increasingly, as time passes, this is edited to wax on in increasingly hippyish prose about how everyone on 'terra firma' knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing etc. Eventually, of course, reasons are given for the return trip home, citing some dodgy reason like grandchildren growing up etc when actually its because they're bored stiff, or the liver can take no more or the boat is actually sinking or they need some free medical treatment or ....


New member
28 Mar 2002
Think this is a wonderful idea, but lacks angst.

Couldn't we have a more depressing motive for why you took up the lifestyle? Don't think going without a fag for a few days is quite going to grab the readerazzi.

We need a major embarassment, perhaps invite to whopping great superyacht but gets badly lost on cycle path, misses it. Twice. One thing leads to another -
going aground, bumping into piles, rudder gone etc and a gradual deterioration into oblivion...friends relieved to see you go, embarassed...great man that you were...

The rest of it looks promising in the raw, and I look forward to early sight of the drafts.


New member
22 Jun 2002
SSE of where I was before.
Very amusing /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

However, on a serious note, for some of us the option of going cruising equates to an opportunity to spend more quality time with our partners, no more time tied to the 9 to 5 rat race existance, less stress, better weather and the chance to visit many places around the world that time/money would probably not otherwise allow us to. We have no children and none are planned so that won't be the reason we eventually return. Maybe health issues will get us. Good job we're planning to go soon - before we get old, frail and full of regrets...


Well-known member
16 May 2001
Faster than a jet plane

"the chance to visit many places around the world that time..... would probably not otherwise allow us to"

How fast is your boat Coldfusion? :)


New member
15 Nov 2004
We'll expect a report on the "better weather" next time your caught out in a storm mid atlantic passage - we can at least close the doors, switch on the heating and turn up the telly! (then go back to the boat to find all the eggs on the floor)


" However, on a serious note, for some of us the option of going cruising equates to an opportunity to spend more quality time with our partners"

For "with" substitute "without?


Well-known member
18 Jun 2001
In the far North
Odd Balls

Most world girdlers pick up the odd odd-ball on their travels. I'd volunteer my services as a virtual odd-ball if you wish. I have no money and my long blonde matted hair could do with a wash but I'm like a ferret uop a drainpipe when it comes to shinning up a mast which is probably why we met anyway. I saw that look of concern on your face as you gazed up at the mast and could see you didn't fancy the climb. I drank a fair bit of your beer when I'd got down and hoovered down a couple of steaks. I don't think you should trust me alone with your wife though......


Well-known member
16 May 2001
Re: Can I collect the harbour dues.

Inevitably world cruisers get stung occasionally by exorbitant harbour dues.To keep it realistic you could send me a large cheque now and then.Ill pm my banks address . /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif


Well-known member
19 Nov 2003
Read all the guff, and was most interested to learn of the dietary aspect.
To whit:-

The boat deteriorates very badly, and eventually the owners look like scarecrows with malnutrition.

Please send details of how we should approach this marvellous weight loss, O Master! Is it going to be as fashionable as the Atkins diet?
Please publish soon, or I won't fit into my ancient Canterburys this season.


New member
12 Nov 2002
Is this tcm's "world tour of the marina" Mr W.Connelly may have something to say on this heading? Copyright etc.

Is this to be the first of many tours?

tcm's world tour of Scotland,
tcm's world tour of Jimi's boat
or even tcm's world tour of Cherberg?