Tales Of The River Bank. MK2

[hlb]

Mrs mole was sunbathing topless in her beautiful well tended garden. The daffodils looked resplendent in the warm spring sunshine.

The moles picturesque house lay alongside the canal, the garden where mrs. mole lay, ambling down to the grassy bank. Along side the bank was a jetty that Mr mole and his friend Toad had built out of old timber pallets. It being quite a long time since the jetty had been built, it now looked a bit wonky and frail.

Mrs mole dozily watched as the odd boat or narrow boat passed by, disappearing from sight under the bridge close by.

Meanwhile Delft the big blue and cream Dutch barge was gliding effortlessly up the canal, the moored boats straining at there tethers as she passed.

Pike in his lair, idly watching the newly hatched ducklings and licking his chops.

Delft was heading for the bridge, and as ever deftly passed under it’s low narrow arch.

Just at this moment the wheel was wrenched out of the helms mans hands, the engine started to stall as well. Delft slewed round sideways, heading for Moles rickety jetty at an enormous speed.

Mrs mole jumped up in horror, The jetty was going to be fire wood and the green house and the new timber decking…..Would the barge stop before demolishing her house!!!

End of part one.

 

[hlb]

Whatever Delft had collected on her prop and rudder must have been enormouserous, slowing down the revs in reverse to near zerro, but also adding its own rudder effect as well. And so the barge lumbered on, bow thruster screeming, but about as much help as a chocalalot /forums/images/graemlins/ooo.gif tea pot. Closer and closer she steamed towards the rickety jetty.

just then mr mole appeared out of the house, with two mugs of tea and some steaming black pudding for the picnick in the garden. He'd remembered the sarsons vinigar and the old english mustard as well, all lovingly prepared for the lovely mrs mole, along with some real treacle ore pudding that he had got from the Sabden treacle mine web site. All covered in custard of course.

 

[powerskipper]

well what happened next, don't keep us in suspense?????????



Did it hit the bridge , ?
did the tits fly around?
did the drinks spill?

come on what happened.

 

[hlb]

Mr mole did not know what to do, he looked at his wife in horror, She was jumping around and waving her arm in a frantic state, worst of all her beautifull tits were in danger of pocking her eyes out and they were already quite black and blue!

 

[hlb]

Mole placed the tray with the blackpuddings tea and treacle pudding on the table besides his wife and observed the unfolding events, traveling towards them. Mole picked up his mobile and wrang his good friend Toad.

 

[hlb]

Hmm Toad said, a bit of a delema here, now whats the best thing to do.

First get some germoline ointment and if you can get your timing right, spread it on her eyes, then find a big pillow and some elasterplast to absorbe the deadly blows.

 

[hlb]

Delft rumbled slowly forwards all 18 tons. Mole was busying himself and trying to get his timing right, so he got the ointment on his wifes eyes and the pillow affixed to her tits and not the other way about, which would not have worked at all!! Mole worked out that it was a two point five second cycle, so he needed to work awfull fast.

 

[powerskipper]

Quick finish or continue before Kim see it, its just getting good!!!!!!

 

[hlb]

Mole then noticed the royal blue ensign afixed on delfts stern. The mouse and the wine glass in the middle confirmed it. This was a forum boat. Mole text toad again, but pike as well. This is a forum boat helpless and going to ram us as well!! Toad and pike emediatly text back. A forum boat!! Were coming to help, right now. Pike left his lair and swiftly swam up the river, mole jumped in the water and sort of doggy paddled the other way. Both met Delft at the same time and without a word, both knew what to do. Pike put all her weight onto Delfts bows whilst toad pushed her stern round whilst deftly tearing the fouling from her prop and rudder, only inches from the pallet formed jetty. Delt lurched round and now facing up the canal again, caried on her way. A few uneventfull hours away, returned at her marina moorings. Deftly she swept into her spot. Debs, saying. It's a pitty theres no one there when you get it right!!

All of a sudden a big wind blew up and even though I was on shore holding the rope on the mid cleat, there was no way she was stopping there. No where to tie the rope either!!

 

[powerskipper]

/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
well .....couild think of somewhere,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, a clit....... sorry for spelling..... looked it up cleat /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[hlb]

But there was no clit or cleat in sight and only a short bit of rope as well. Deftly I jumped back aboard, but the help from toad pike and mole were missing at this time.

 

[powerskipper]

short rope . very very bad

 

[powerskipper]

well done for trying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[hlb]

Taking a great leap I reboarded Delft and slammed her into reveres, bow thruster smoking, as she lumbered back out of her birth, narrowly missing the other moored boats, to the relitive safety of the lagoon. Three further attemps and loads of dragging on ropes and she's finally pinned to the shore.

 

[peterandjeanette]

Phew! Now I can go back to work, safe in the knowledge that all is well on the forum/riverbank.

 

[hlb]

Well I was wondering which forum it should be placed on under the new rules. Or should the thread be sort of transportable from forum to forum dependant on each reply. Maybe there should be an auto search thingy, a bit like the censor thingy, so all words like boat arive in boat forum and things like mole, pike, toad could have a zoo forum, maybe a page three forum for mrs mole!!

 

[hlb]

Just to make this a proper boaty thread, if not boaty enough for the controlers. That was the ditch crawling event. The next will be sea bound On MF. he next will be about ten days on a rag thingy Off Greece. Now can some one find a home for my posts!! I only want one, as I never know where the post will develop to, I mean, when I started I did not know wether to go into fantacy mode and demolish Toad hall or mrs Moles residence. Instead I roughly stuck to the facts. Bit of embelishment I'll admit.

Next I'l tell you about the saga, of trying to tel the DVLA that I've changed my address. Now that is a big story!!

 

[BrendanS]

[ QUOTE ]
Next I'l tell you about the saga, of trying to tel the DVLA that I've changed my address

[/ QUOTE ]

?????

 

[deborahann]

well what actually happened is that we did nearly hit someone's jetty at the end of their garden, we were going along quite nicely, then all hell broke loose, as shopping trolly like thing attached itself to the prop. & wrenched the wheel out of hlb's hands. There's no doubt if we had hit the jetty we would have demolished it.

we got back to the mooring, I stepped off, (forgot to take my side ropes back after washing them at home in the washing machine) so shortish temporary rope though a mooring ring, pulling the boat in nicely. I comment no one watching for once when we get it right, then we both go to tie the front and back ropes. Great gust of wind, takes us away from the bank, ropes dangling in the water etc etc. I shout which side are ropes required, no answer, we try this way that way, backwards, forwards, ram the bank with the anchor at the front, bang the back, ropes this side, that side, finally she's tied up. BUT we will have to go back (been back once as left the fridge door open with fridge still switched on !) and re tie the ropes as they will rub the paint off the way they are tied.

And to think we same two plan a sea voyage shortly...