Sucking through teeth....

iangrant

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shaking the head for a simple part they haven't seen.
It is a man behind the counter thing (or "tradesman", storeman) it drives me mad when they take such delight in doing it...

Ian
 

tome

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Or when they ask what you want something for, and when you mention it's a boat they tell you 'we don't do one for boats'.
 

paulskent

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Or worse..(in these modern times)

Yes I know the website says they are in stock but they are at the warehouse 20 miles away and we only get deliveries in the mornings so you will have to comeback tomorrow !!!

PK.
 

Gordonmc

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I don't know what's worse... a: the counter man who knows far better than you what you want; b: the pimply yoof who knows nothing and cares less. The latter species normally inhabits DIY superstores.
An experience of the former was when I went into a local ironmogers and asked for ask for a box of 120 grit sanding discs for a Bosch random orbital sander.
"Round or oblong" he asked.
"discs."
"Yeh, but round or oblong?"

You can probably guess the rest.
 

ShipsWoofy

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We used to have a store man called Arnie. Feared by many.

I needed something one day and went to his little safety hatch. After he had written half a page of numbers in little boxes he finally acknowledged me, thats how important he was!

Off he went to get the tray where the item I needed was stored, brought it back to the desk where I saw there was two left. I was prolly going to need another one before the end of the week so I suggested he gave me both.

"You can't take the last one", says he, "someone else might need it". I thought this was folklore, store men really did not do this, but there it was, right in front of me.

So I says, "If I come back in 10 seconds, can I be someone else", "F*/- O--" says he.

There is a special place where they recruit store men, similar to the place where they get the staff for B&Q and Kwik Save.

/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 

iangrant

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Oh that makes me smile now, I like the safety hatch... brilliant, they DO keep you waiting, they know you are there.B**ta*ds


Ian
 

absit_omen

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.......stores are for 'storing'; if they were for issuing they would be called 'issues'........or so an old Quartermaster Sergeant once told me.
 

Nauti Fox

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Was he a proper one with a brown coat, stub of a pencil that no one else could possibly write with, self important and with no patience whatsoever?Takes long lunch/tea breaks and knows every delaying tactic possible? if the answers yes it could have been me dad in one of his many jobs.
 

paulskent

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Re: I Know Arnie..

I think I probably met Arnie in my days as a trainee systems analyst (any one remember systems analysts?).

My first assignment was at a steelworks in Sheffield where I was assigned to do an assessment of the stores systems. The foreman (actually his name was Ernie) was the classic brown overall (oil stains), Dailiy Mirror in one pocket, pencil behind one ear and dimp behind the other.

I was introduced to him as “the man who was going to bring him up to date by computerising him”. You can imagine how well that was received. He did his best to ignore me for the week.

Eventually it came to Friday afternoon and I couldn’t avoid it any longer so I had to have a session with him. I thought I’d open with a stunner so that I could gain the upper ground in the interview. So I started.

“So Ernie do you run a LIFO or FIFO system for stores replenishment”

Sharp as a tack he came back with “Nay lad we run a FOFO system here”.

This threw me a bit because there was no mention of FOFO in any of the text books I had read. So I stumbled a bit and the asked. “Er what exactly is a FOFO system “

The response

F*** Off and Find Out

PK.
 

ParaHandy

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... a Devonian plumber after finding that i'd miscalculated the flue length and was estimating costs of delay on a floorboard with 1" stub of a pencil, exhaled a gloomy scrumpy laden sigh at the result ....

i understand that corgi registration includes a two-week course in this activity ...
 

FullCircle

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We had a Storeman who deleted any preceding/following zeros in a Part Number, like
00123-000
would be stored under
123

Hilarious.

In these complicated electronic times, we go into stores asking for a USBwodgetplinker
and the Pimply Sneering Yoof asks: Woddyawontoneofemfor (silent - Granddad)? YouneedaFirewirefizzbang 2.3. Of course, you have no idea technically, as that is what you were advised to get by the PBO forumites. Leave in disarray.

I also worked with a Quartermaster Sergeant (Cav) in the Army. Equivalent to an RSM, i.e. a Warrant Officer I. A fearsome bloke with a wicked humour.
New recruits enter stores and brightly ask "We have come for Tin Helmets Sir!"
"Tinelmets?Tinelmets??Aintgotnoeffingtinelmets, 'eres a Mess Tin , sign 'ere! "
They did. All of them. Priceless.
I have more Cav stories if requested!
 

Sans Bateau

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When I need electrical fittings I go to my local CEF, one of the 'storeman' in there is unbelievable, talk about attitude problem! When you ask for anything you have to get the description EXACTLY right. Its like you have to pass a description exam before he will sell it to you, complete personnality bypass!

I often wonder if I were to go in dressed like a 'tradesman' oneday, if he might have a more receptive attitude, is it, 'your wearing a suit, what would you be doing buying these?'.
 

Lakesailor

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I was restoring a Mini. In Halfords I asked at the parts counter for points and a condenser for a Cooper S.
The spotty youth didn't know what points or condensers were (I'd taken them with me as patterns) and couldn't find any reference to them on his computer.
"Sorry, no, you'd better go to the Main Dealer"

I wandered out and passed by a wall with a display about 6ft high and 10 ft long of pre-packed points, condensers, rotor arms, plug caps, leads etc.

Of course I found exactly what I wanted (race spec "s" points for an Aldon distributor).

I didn't bother going back to enlighten him.
 

plombier

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How about being told "there no call for that"

Oh yes there bl**dy well is - I'm calling for it. /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif
 

Achillesheel

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I went to buy some Fablon (sticky backed plastic, to the Blue Peter generation):-

"2 yards of fablon please"
"Sorry, we only sell it metres"
"OK, then, I'll have 2 metres"
"Certainly, do you want the 24 inch wide, or the 36 inch wide?"

Absolutely true.
 

wishbones

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Next time you're in B&Q, or similar DIY warehouse, approach one of the aforementioned spotty assistants and say "I'm looking for a blank stair..." When they oblige with a blank stare (as they surely will), smile gently, thank them for their help, and stroll away. Always makes me chuckle....
 
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