ChrisE
Well-Known Member
We at ButtMaster HQ, ever keen to follow a trend, will now be offering a new qualification on tihs board, Spatmaster.
We're sure that this will be a winner and as with the previous qualifications of Buttmaster, Barfmaster and this new fangled Yachtmaster, it will come in three categories each building on the other and needing various degrees of spatness. Unlike the other qualifications, however, Spatmaster requires at least two Spatters although we are looking into the logic of singlehanded spatting.
Ohhyoubitch (Spatmaater entry level) requires at least one posting where the poster has said 'You must be joking' and a couple hurrumphs from the other poster
Scratchyoureyesout (Spatmaster Scuttblebutt level) requires the above plus at least one serious falling out and one personal dig about the parenthood of the other poster in the Spat.
Spatmaster (Lounge lizaerd) requires the above plus a couple of trolls, two serious falling out and a 'Goodbye' posting from at least one of the posters.
We will, of course be offering courses in the art of spatting. These will cover the obligatory 'my anchor is better than your anchor', 'I know the Colregs better than you' and that old favourite, 'I reckon that the country has gone to the dogs since we allowed the use of GRP as a boatmaking material'.
All of the above stuff can be circumvented via the receipt of the usual brown envelop.
Regards
ButtMaster HQ
We're sure that this will be a winner and as with the previous qualifications of Buttmaster, Barfmaster and this new fangled Yachtmaster, it will come in three categories each building on the other and needing various degrees of spatness. Unlike the other qualifications, however, Spatmaster requires at least two Spatters although we are looking into the logic of singlehanded spatting.
Ohhyoubitch (Spatmaater entry level) requires at least one posting where the poster has said 'You must be joking' and a couple hurrumphs from the other poster
Scratchyoureyesout (Spatmaster Scuttblebutt level) requires the above plus at least one serious falling out and one personal dig about the parenthood of the other poster in the Spat.
Spatmaster (Lounge lizaerd) requires the above plus a couple of trolls, two serious falling out and a 'Goodbye' posting from at least one of the posters.
We will, of course be offering courses in the art of spatting. These will cover the obligatory 'my anchor is better than your anchor', 'I know the Colregs better than you' and that old favourite, 'I reckon that the country has gone to the dogs since we allowed the use of GRP as a boatmaking material'.
All of the above stuff can be circumvented via the receipt of the usual brown envelop.
Regards
ButtMaster HQ
