Some laughs an Quotes whilst training the Peeps!

Kawasaki

Kawasaki

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Over the last few years whilst doing some RYA stuff there have been some funny moments.
All names etc etc etc are ficticious, de blah de blah

Had an all girl crew
'Ok -- this morning we are going to slowly approach various bouys and kiss them and hold onto them'
Lots of enthuastic anticipation was apparent:D

'Today we will go over Dutchmans Bank'
Reply
Do we need Euros!

'This anchor is called a Bruce'

Comment from student
'Are they made in Australia'?
Cos me first Husband was from Aus an he looked worse that ugly lookin hook!

One particular 'Gungh Ho' type helmsman tother day
I said to Him
'Just put it into 'First'
He replied
'Why, are there other gears'?
I said
'Not fer you matey -- first will do for now':)

On an advanced course once, we had a right Wag
Question was
'Whats a Katabatic Wind'

Yer man replied
'Summatt yer get the morning after a Vindaloe:D'

'Why is the boat going all over the place'?
Reply
'I think there is something wrong with the nut behind the wheel'
Helsman didn't click, his fellow Students were in stiches - Cos
He went on to say
'I have a socket set in me van, shall we go ashore and sort it'!

A bit of a Feminist sparked up one day
'Why is it just 'Man Overboard' we practice?'
Fellow student
Just going through a divorce apparently
'That's the way it should be':D:D

Don't shoot the messenger folks
These are for real

OH Yeh
Tother day

'Why are they called Cardinal Marks'?

Cos it's ter do with the Four Cardinal points of the Compass
Says I

'Is that summatt to do with Religion an Bishops an stuff'?
Me Man replied!!!

Good innit

Tomorrow apparently
I have an Englishman a Scotsman an an Irishman
For two days
There just has to be some fun there!:)
 
Kawasaki said:
Over the last few years whilst doing some RYA stuff there have been some funny moments.
All names etc etc etc are ficticious, de blah de blah

Had an all girl crew
'Ok -- this morning we are going to slowly approach various bouys and kiss them and hold onto them'
Lots of enthuastic anticipation was apparent:D

'Today we will go over Dutchmans Bank'
Reply
Do we need Euros!

'This anchor is called a Bruce'

Comment from student
'Are they made in Australia'?
Cos me first Husband was from Aus an he looked worse that ugly lookin hook!

One particular 'Gungh Ho' type helmsman tother day
I said to Him
'Just put it into 'First'
He replied
'Why, are there other gears'?
I said
'Not fer you matey -- first will do for now':)

On an advanced course once, we had a right Wag
Question was
'Whats a Katabatic Wind'

Yer man replied
'Summatt yer get the morning after a Vindaloe:D'

'Why is the boat going all over the place'?
Reply
'I think there is something wrong with the nut behind the wheel'
Helsman didn't click, his fellow Students were in stiches - Cos
He went on to say
'I have a socket set in me van, shall we go ashore and sort it'!

A bit of a Feminist sparked up one day
'Why is it just 'Man Overboard' we practice?'
Fellow student
Just going through a divorce apparently
'That's the way it should be':D:D

Don't shoot the messenger folks
These are for real

OH Yeh
Tother day

'Why are they called Cardinal Marks'?

Cos it's ter do with the Four Cardinal points of the Compass
Says I

'Is that summatt to do with Religion an Bishops an stuff'?
Me Man replied!!!

Good innit

Tomorrow apparently
I have an Englishman a Scotsman an an Irishman
For two days
There just has to be some fun there!:)
Click to expand...

Doing my practical YM we had a German old boy. He kept us in stitches. During a MOB exercise he went to turn around. Full stbd rudder and then full ahead stbd and full astern port. Poor boat, a Bene 42 trawler (**** boat too) sat there shuddering...... When I swapped the throttles around he said "It is Ok. No need to do this. Ve hav done this many times on the river" Looking at the chart I did a rough lat/long of our position, not our fella, "I haf done this eggaggtly this morning, ve are following the course ve haf plotted" He got a bit miserable when I pointed out we were about .5Nm "off course", but ve haf to follow the line etc ad nauseam...
Then there was his glasses. " I cannot see so vell vith zees. My optician says zey should be different to my prescripton to make my eyes vork harder..."
Fortunately we went ashore for a meal when he threatened to bring out his oompah music cd....


Blimey this is my 500th post:eek:
 
Philiz said:
I know, I'm saving my 2000th fer a special ocasion , awe yer terwat! :p
Click to expand...

You'll be getting a PM from Snooks for using language like that and it won't be a congrats on your 2k either! :rolleyes:

As for the joke that begins, "there was an Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman and a Kwackers in a RIB" the bind moggles! :D
 
!Q

Kilter said:
More like Asbo - bloody - lutely! ;)
Click to expand...

As spose yer quite right there
Today was good
The Irishman struggled with left and right
The Scotsman couldn't understand the Irishman
The English man couldn't understand how the Irishman couldn't understand the Welshman (thats me) telling the Irishman the Scotsman had really done quite well berthing the boat against the raft the Welsh had positioned in the Menai Strait to to test things that the English wanted to test to export stuff the rest of the World wanted
This raft positioned in the narrow Menai Strait is dead handy to test stuff.
Which is exported all over the World it seems
Tiss a test bed for metals an paints an stuff
Has fenders all about it
So its good fer training peeps how to bash a pontoon
So I got the English man to try first
I say old chap-- just slow down a bit, we may arrive a bit quickly.
'See what you mean old boy, thanks for that awfully'
Was the rhetoric
'Jimmy' obviously the Scot
'Av a bash at that' says I
Wrong instruction
I bit me tongue as I said it:rolleyes:
It was like the Charge at Culloden!
'All Hands On Deck'
We arrived rather quickly!
OK we didn't bust owt!
'Mick' was up next
'Hmm' I thought, I have to modify/ moderate me instruction techique here
'Mick' jest park the feckin thing an lets go fer a pint of Liffey water me gobs like the bottom of a Parotts cage
We glided in no probs!:D
'Snow problem parkin these little feckers'
Said Mick
I think the lure of the Guiness worked wonders:D
See what happens termorrer!
 
hi Rich,
I'm on board fer a few days. I may pop down that way & check out the heronry. Feel free to practice boarding, I shall see if I can arrange some surprises for 'em. He he Steve.

Now where can I get some water bombs?
 
Which raft are you on about, K?

(Did the Swellies at midnight last Sat - No worries :D:cool: ...trying to find a vacant mooring buoy near Nelson in the dark was a different story :eek:)

Andy
 
misterg said:
Which raft are you on about, K?

(Did the Swellies at midnight last Sat - No worries :D:cool: ...trying to find a vacant mooring buoy near Nelson in the dark was a different story :eek:)

Andy
Click to expand...

As you approach the Menai Bridge after leaving Bangor pier on yer port side
Look towards the trot of moorings towards the islands on yer starboard side
Usually there is a pretty motor sailor parked there
Looks like a nice Miller Fifer
Bout a 30 footer
Said raft is forward of Her
Tiss used fer testin stuff I believe
Like metals in the briney an that
Paints an stuff

Yoh Man
Swellies in the dark!
Thats hairy chested Man stuff, fair play

Yep, moorings by Nelson, there are a couple
Well found if yer found em
Credit where credit is due
Its effin dark by there
Well done Mr misterg!:)
 
Searush said:
hi Rich,

Now where can I get some water bombs?
Click to expand...

Listen ere terwat
Unless the Bombs are watered down with a bit of G@T
Yer will get ramming speed!!
On the water for the next 7 days, with novices with throttle happy hands:D
Due up the Seiont, termorrer, Sat an Sun
I suggest, the largest fenders you have in stock--- starboard side deployement, from the current position of Your vessel
Oh, I forgot to mention
We have a Lady aboard for the next few days
Well, I think so
Two have what looks like dresses on
Its a bit confusing really
Ever seen a Scotsman stuff a kilt in a wetsuit:D
 
Some very experienced Mobo friends of our were doing their Dayskipper 'sail' down in the Canaries. On the boat with them were several IRISH crew.

These are both true btw.

Out in strong winds they were knocked flat and broached. The skipper called below, "Have you any water down there?"

The reply came up, "Noo, no water, but we have some Coke."

***********************

The next day they were do some theory, lights and shapes...

The skipper asked what they though a flashing amber light at night would be.

After 2 minutes of silence, Paddy said, "Could it be a forklift?"

I guess you had to be there but I thought this was great when I was told. :)
 
Kawasaki said:
As you approach the Menai Bridge after leaving Bangor pier on yer port side
Look towards the trot of moorings towards the islands on yer starboard side
Usually there is a pretty motor sailor parked there
Looks like a nice Miller Fifer
Bout a 30 footer
Said raft is forward of Her
Tiss used fer testin stuff I believe
Like metals in the briney an that
Paints an stuff
Click to expand...

Ah - I know the one you mean - I thought it was some sort of fish farm, or something.

Yep, moorings by Nelson, there are a couple
Well found if yer found em
Click to expand...

Err... we didn't. ;)

Got to Port Dinorwic before we found something to tie up to.....:D

Andy
 
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