Shock News!

[ccscott49]

Over on scuttlebutt, theres a thread about snap crackle and pop.
Well there is a startleing new discovery, The polyestermite, its a mutated gribble type thing, but this one doesn't bore holes in wood, oh! No, due to the demise of many wooden boats, the old gribble and teredo worm has evolved and mutated into the polyestermite! A very weird looking individual it is aswell, very sharp teeth and a mouth at each end, with arsehole in the middle. It has developed this way, so as to faciltate the eating of two polyester boats at the same time, when tightly packed in marinas, this is the funny noises you hear, not mullet, they disguisse their chomping to sound like mullet, sneaky eh! The only defence, is to put a veneer of real wood around yoiur boat, this is poisonous to them or all buy wood boats. There has also been tales of another offshoot of the breed called epoxymite, which does the same thing to epoxy coated polyester. You have been warned, check your boat now!! Those noises may sopund innocent, but beware, they ahve been seen all over the place, especially in high poplyester concentrated areas, such as the solent!

 

[hlb]

Na Colin. It's that PBO Harbour masters clit. Silly bugger chucked it in the Solent and it's multiplied. Now swallowing two boats at once in it's frustration.

<font color=blue> [Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
Haydn

 

[kimhollamby]

Old news!

If I remember rightly Bill Beauvis broke the news of the polyestermite many moons ago in MBY. Quite a lot of people took it seriously, I believe. Great page though...must ask Alan if it's possible to reproduce.

kim_hollamby@ipcmedia.com

 

[ccscott49]

Re: Old news!

Quite right, but it's time has come! Love to see it reproduced, it had me in stitches last time I read it!

 

[ccscott49]

Re: Old news!

Quite right, but it's time has come! All those strange munching noises in the night which stop as soon as you shine a torch in the water! Crafty little boogers!

Love to see it reproduced, it had me in stitches last time I read it!

 

[sailbadthesinner]

.'..very sharp teeth and a mouth at each end, with arsehole in the middle.'

that is our management team that is!!!!!!

Come on brain.get this over and i can go back to killing you with beer

 

[MapisM]

A business idea maybe?

For those of us who are used to the pleasure, but also to the expenses, of wooden boats, it might be a big opportunity.
We could offer a rescue service for the most crowded marinas: just leave our wooden babies between the plastics, to poison the sneaky beasts.
'Course the berth for us should be free of charge: the longer we please to stay there, the better for them!
Besides, such valuable service is sure worth a reasonable daily fee, for fuel and amenities.
Cruising around anywhere, and being paid for. What a dream...
It's a shame I'm not a bio-scientist, I'd try to develope the polyestermiite myself, and spread it around the whole Med...

 

[BrendanS]

Re: A business idea maybe?

Trained bio-scientist ... at your service. If you fund the lab, I'll develop the little monster. Won't be cheap though, I'd have to go buy a wooden boat /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

 

[jimmie]

Well my dears

It really cannot be that difficult. I would start with two ladies from Liverpool, sew them together and who knows what they may mutate into! Really scarey, thats why us nice boys stay away from these bad ladies.

 

[MapisM]

Re: A business idea maybe?

My boat could be available as a lab. I'd even throw in some good wine.
All subject to my approval of the above mentioned Liverpool ladies of course!

P.S. for SWMBO, just in case:
...c'mon darling, you know I'm joking. Besides, did I ever come to check your posts in those boring forums of yours?

 

[BrendanS]

Re: A business idea maybe?

Boat? Lab? OK, read Teranesia by Greg Egan, and you'll understand the sort of facilities I'll require. Little expensive, but well worth it for the results you'll receive.

On the cheaper end of the scale, could I suggest you take some scrapings from the sort of boat you'd like to do away with...quite easy, just remove them from you anchor/pulpit/whichever bit of your boat sticks out most and has bashed a few plastic boats recently. Chuck the scrapings into your holding tank, along with some nice bacterial growth promotors...sugar, pasta, meal left overs, diced carrots etc....don't pump out, and leave for several months. Keep throwing in scrapings in bigger quantities, along with more nutrients. Important to increase the plastic quantity over time.

If your holding tank doesn't explode, you'll have grown some nice little microbes that will happily eat plastic as their favourite meal.

Pump half of holding tank over most hated plastic boat....preferably at night, the bugs won't like UV. Keep rest of holding tank contents as starter for next batch. If this looks like it's working, PM me for further details./forums/images/icons/cool.gif

 

[MapisM]

Can handle that. But...

when and how do those Liverpool ladies jump into the picture ?!?...

 

[BrendanS]

Re: Can handle that. But...

Keep you and/or crew occupied while holding tank is festering?