Scattering ashes at sea

[BobE]

Sorry to be morbid, but next week I have to be involved in this ceremony...

I think there will be about four boats involved..

Anyone know of Flag conventions etc.?

I've googled but not found much except that in the US they seem to sink the "cremains" in a wicker basket covered in petals..

Any help appreciated..

Cheers Bob E...

 

[Twister_Ken]

A call to the secretary of the Yarmouth LB might help - I seem to recall they do this sort of thing regularly.

 

[BobE]

Thanks Ken I'll do that
Cheers Bob E......

 

[tome]

Cannot help, but interested in any info you glean as I have the same duty to consider

 

[Ariadne]

Make sure you know what direction the wind is coming from!

I did this a long time ago, on a boat I worked on, we were asked to provide the transport out to sea.

We flew the ensign at half mast but had no other flags on board. Priest/vicar came along and did a short service, then scattered the ashes.

Very solom up to a point, they scattered the ashes into the wind and spent the rest of trip coughing & choking on them.

 

[[2068]]

I did this last season, and it worked eerily well. It was a reasonably calm day, we motored out a mile or so towards the Nab, stopped the engines, and the wind dropped almost completely for a few minutes.

The next of kin read a short poem, and then ashes container was opened and scattered downwind standing on the bathing platform. Some small flowers were added, and the flowers and ashes drifted gently away. We just stood in silence for a few minutes watching. As we started the engines, the wind picked up again, and we motored back.

No idea on correct flag etiquette. The deceased had spent many years in the merchant navy, so flying the Red Ensign (in the normal position) seemed appropriate. Good job too, as I have no idea how I'd have flown it any lower.

dv.

 

[Sea Devil]

My sister and I scattered my mums ashes into the sea. The lifeboat would have done it but wanted £50. I found a local motorboat for a lot less and we went out of the harbour and he hove to and we scattered.. she did turn with the breeze and so did mum a bit so we just tried not to cough!

Actually it is really nice to have 'buried' her like that. Where ever I was in the world sailing I could look at the sea and think 'my mum is in there' - Nice thought. Good way of burying someone..

Michael

 

[Daedelus]

RYA flag etiquette (which is a bit elaborate but here if you want it), says,

"If the owner of a yacht dies, the Colours and burgee should be half masted when the information is received and at sunset hauled down for the last time."

"Ensigns and burgees should never be hoisted direct to or lowered from half mast position. When being hoisted, they should first be hauled close up and then, after a pause of a few seconds, lowered to the dipped position. Similarly, when Colours or burgees are to be lowered, they should first be hauled up from the dipped position close up and, after a pause of a few seconds, lowered. This is the correct ceremonial procedure"

Guess you're a bit late for that but why not go for half mast on all boats involved? No-one would object I'm sure. Do be aware you can get people asking if you know your flags are not fully hoisted!

Incidentally, there's usually more ash in the urn than you might expect, do wait for a lull in the wind and ensure you are emptying downwind. It can be a bit traumatic (or dusty depending on sense of humour) otherwise.

 

[Sultans_Kapitein]

I do know that thisservice is offered from the Mersey Ferries. A Hindu friend of mine's father passed over last year and when I asked if they were goingto scatter the ashes on the Ganges, as per tradition, she said that they had already scattered the ashes on the Mersey.

 

[bobfrost]

Spoke to a woman a few years ago scattering ashes of her husband off Ramsgate Harbour which was one of his dying requests.

I said 'He must have loved the sea'.

She replied 'Not at all. He just hated fish............' /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[BAtoo]

We scattered a friends ashes earleir this year; the family just quietly sat on the leeward deck held hands & scattered the ashes; various elderly family assembled at a viewing point on land and watched from there. Flew flags normally; couldnt stop as engine was being dodgy and didnt want to cut revs so did a slowish run past the chosen spot.
He was ex Merchant Navy & family were very pleased with result.

 

[BobE]

Got this answer to my query from:

The RYA
Thank you for your enquiry with the RYA regarding the scattering of
ashes at Sea. Although there are no formal conventions when scattering
ashes at sea, you may wish to fly your ensign at half mast after the
ceremony and words have been said. You will need to return to full mast
however before setting off for home though.

and this from the RNLI at Poole

There are no written conventions for scattering of ashes that I am aware of. However I have been involved with a number of them over my 22 years in the RNLI and use the following format:

If all the relatives etc are embarked then proceed to a suitable area off shore. If relatives are not embarked but watching from ashore then proceed a little way off shore but in good view of the relatives.

Heave to head to sea or come head to sea at minimum steerage way as conditions dictate. Assemble crew / relatives at the stern. Say any prayer/s as appropriate and then gently empty the casket over the transom. Unless you have a weighted, perforated casket the casket should not be dropped overboard. (I have seen people put the whole thing over, with the lid still on, and then watch uncle Bertie drift off down wind/tide to wander for ever!)

Particularly if the relatives are watching from ashore, but even if they are aboard, lower the ensign to half mast at the start and raise it again at the end of the scattering.

The finer dust from the ashes may well drift back aboard as you get eddies in the air currents around the stern on a fresh day - if the relatives are embarked this can be distressing, so you should be prepared for it. Hold the casket as low over the side as you can to minimise this possibility, and have some fresh water to hand to wash down afterwards. I would suggest that the boat from which the ashes are to be scattered be the leeward most one of the flotilla.

So there it is both seem to roughly agree about the half mast thing... I don't know how I'll manange tho', the jackstaff is only marginally longer than the hoist of the ensign...

Thanks for all your help and Cheers Bob E...

 

[graham]

[ QUOTE ]
Very solom up to a point, they scattered the ashes into the wind and spent the rest of trip coughing & choking on them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your not kidding I know /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

I did one for one of the crews uncle who was an old seaman.

We just solemnly tipped him in from the plastic urn ,the ashes are very fine and the turbulent air around the stern of the boat lying stopped head to wind meant i could taste the old guy for an hour afterwards.

 

[harvey]

The last one I was involved in , the family had some flower petals in a box which they passed down the line and sprinkled by the handful onto the ashes. Seemed a nice idea.
John

 

[LadyInBed]

I fancy having my ashes in a shoe box floated off and watched to sink to the refrains of "What shall we do with the drunken sailor" and the 'Jolly Roger' at half mast. /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

 

[stephenmartin]

I did one last year...the ladies Aunty had passed away who had served in te RN during the war....all her records were destroyed in the blitz so the RN refused (I hear you can request it)

We set off in May/June 2005 out to the towers in the solent which was blowing at least a 3/4

My mate (ex MN Capt) was hanging onto the old lady whilst she hung over the side of the boat with the asheswhich went everywhere

Some of aunty got washed down in Southsea marina....the lady was extremely grateful and bought us all lunch...

Made me feel quite humble...Not sure i want to end up there when my time comes

 

[Cruiser2B]

BobE,

If my naval ceremonial memories are correct, ships do not half-mast underway, though it would be quite correct to be half-masted alongside or at anchor. Otherwise the Church pennant is hoisted at the masthead for the ceremony and the side is piped when the remains board the vessel and again when they are committed to the deep. I've not actually witnessed one of these, but I believe the Cdn Navy uses a weighted, perforated urn and if it is too windy for scattering, then the whole lot is simply chucked in. I would think it to be a little more appropriate to pour the contents upon the water from a leeward position of least freeboard. Not sure if there is an historical reason for doing so, but we typically present to the most immediate next-of-kin a framed section of a chart with the location marked and a little write-up in calligraphy; something to the effect of "On the fourth day of September in the Year of our Lord 2006, John Jacob Smith was committed to the sea in position such and such" Seems like reasonable alternative to a grave marker.
Hope it goes well.

Kevin

 

[Oliveoyl]

Today was the funeral of our old friend JB,
laid low by a heart attack while hiking in Switzerland, Tomorrow his ashes will be scattered off the Belgian coast. Thanks to all who gave their advice here - it doesn't exactly lessen the grief, but comforting to know that others have been there before.
Bon vent Jean!

 

[Steve Clayton]

We did the ashes at sea this morning for a friends father. 9 relatives aboard and a very smooth sea as I stopped the engine at the agreed point, words were said by the relatives, and a few tears shed as the urn (bio-degradable!) followed by flowers were cast into the sea.

Very moving and a priviledge to be asked to be involved in the final act of saying "Goodbye, until we meet again"

 

[oldgit]

Chap I moor next to charters out his large ex pilot tug and is frequenly hired by local funeral companies to scatter ashes.On one particular day he was very busy with 7 lots of ashes to be consigned to the waters of the Medway.
More than once the party of mourners has returned with a light coat of dust decorating a fair portion of the boat requiring a quick washdown.