Sang froid

[Twister_Ken]

We Londoners are feeling a bit aggrieved in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised our security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists themselves have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time we issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

 

[FullCircle]

My Mum came out today wearing an apron and a tin hat, shaking her broom at the skies looking for V2s,muttering something about redecorating the Anderson shelter and putting up more of the 'Careless Talk Cost Lives' posters.
She is taping up the windows and running up the blackouts on the Singer.
Vera Lynn on the CD.
She is also keen on internment for anyone arriving since 1945, and closing the ports & airports. Asylum seekers are to be returned.
On a more modern note she has told me that the Internet should be closed down, as bomb making plans and other aids to interrupted freedom are freely available.

She also reads the Daily Mail. Bless her.

 

[landyhubbard]

Vera Lynn on a CD!? Surely not.

 

[landyhubbard]

I thought on of the columnists in my Sunday paper had it about right. Some mad medieval death-loving bas***d tries to blow-up a night club- symbol of everything they hate, and the following day London has a Gay Pride march, with men dressed as Kylie Minogue pinching the bottoms of policemen. Makes you proud to be British.

 

[jhr]

Which reminds me that the correct translation for "L'Anglais et son sang-froid habituel" is actually - in spite of anything you may have been told to the contrary - "The Englishman, with his usual bloody cold". /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[LymingtonPugwash]

Actually, thinking about it, I suppose it won't be too bad WHEN our barmy leaders totally hand over the Islamic Republic of Britain to islam to set up sharia law for all..... I don't think the koran says anything against yachting or that yachties are sinful or anything else which would make us a target for allah's wrath!
Shame for the female yachties though..... Ellen and all the other yachtswomen will be kept locked up at home and the seas will be only for men! Golly, reminds me of my old navy days before women were allowed anywhere near boats! /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

 

[Capn Pugwash]

JHR - cor blimey! I remember that old song! Me dad used to play it - "All the French and the Italians, chase their women round like stallions, but the Englishmans a suet pud" or something like that. Who sang it....Noel Coward?

 

[Oen]

Or the full version (from 2005 or even earlier):

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” Londoners have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “Surrender” and “Collaborate.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country’s military capability.

It’s not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “shout loudly and excitedly” to “elaborate military posturing”. Two more levels remain, “ineffective combat operations” and “change sides”.

The Germans also increased their alert state from “disdainful arrogance” to “dress in uniform and sing marching songs”. They also have two higher levels: “invade a neighbour” and “lose”.

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only threat they worry about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.