Safer sports, slightly boaty!

[Kilter]

Talk this morning on “Today” about one James Bourke, who, writing in the British Medical Journal (BMJ), says rugby scrums should be banned because they cause too many spinal cord injuries and are therefore no longer acceptable.

Obviously it’s a ‘good thing’ to make sports safer so I propose that in the forthcoming soccer fest the players should wear nice, soft, comfy slippers and have a nice, light foam football.

Saily boats should all have very small, loose footed sails and mobos should be restricted to say 5 knots.

Anyone got any other ways of making sports safer?

 

[stevebrassett]

But wasn't Rooney wearing nice soft, comfy boots?

Climbers must not be allowed to climb higher than head height.

Boxers must only use the flat of their hand, and must also be wearing the big foam hands with a pointy finger.

Cricket teams must use tennis balls.

Formula 1 cars must now be Humvees, powered by 1 litre diesel engines.

 

[stevebrassett]

Golfers must now use ping pong balls, or hedgehogs, with flamingos for clubs.

I think I might be ready for my pills, now.

 

[Blueboatman]

All TV Remotes to carry the word ATROPHY emblazoned across the front?

 

[flaming]

Horse racing shall now take place only on donkeys, and all riders must be capable of touching the ground with both feet whilst astride the donkey. Hedges shall be negotiated by simply getting the donkey to eat its way through.

White water rafting will only take place in swimming pools and shall be renamed blue water rafting.

 

[Twister_Ken]

Show jumping - do it on a great big bouncy castle

Snooker - raise table height to avoid 'billiard back'

Tennis - ladies to wear long trousers, to avoid blood pressure problems with elderly male spectators.

Darts - to be played in safety tunnels, eyeguards and stab vests to be worn

Rallying - radio-controlled models only

Hang gliding - indoors, over gym mats

Wrestling - no changes, safe enough, except don't enter ring from above hanging from a Lewmar snap shackle

Fencing - Star Wars light sabres (£9.99 from Woolworths)

 

[Wansworth]

ALL sports and outdoor activities SHOULD be watched on t.v.For some obscure reason its quite safe to be sent off to war and be killed whilst killing yourself at apastime is frowned upon and laws are there to protect you

 

[Rustyknight]

That brings on a thought that instead of using depleted uranium tipped bullets and guided missiles, all wars should be fought with paint guns........

 

[DRANNIE]

I'm not sure there are many GP riders who would want to give up their crash helmets and leathers, or rally drivers who would take the safety equipment out of their cars.

If you consider, particularily at an amateur level whether a life in wheelchair peeing through a tube while your wife/parents feed you is worth it for one element of a game then this doctor might have a point. Nanny state gone mad, maybe, maybe not.

only my view of course.

 

[Kilter]

I'm sure our troops would rather be redecorated by "friendly" US fire than the current arrangement!

 

[sighmoon]

When you chose to do something, you accept its consequences.

We had no choice but to play rugby at school though, and being a lanky sort of bloke, I lived in fear of it. Its probably different now though, with firms like PERsonal inJURY direct advertising all over the place...

 

[Kawasaki]

W*nker , name should be James Berk. Hedgehogs, Flamingoes? That,s a bit Alice though the Looking Glass, maybe that,s where the "TOSSER" belongs,end of "RANT" Berk. /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif

 

[stevebrassett]

Erm, I added the flamingos and hedgehogs bit. Things were getting rather surreal, so I made it more so.

 

[[2068]]

> Formula 1 cars must now be Humvees, powered by 1 litre diesel engines

It's already happened. This seasons "low caffeine" V8's are well down on power on last seasons V10's. The racing is a bit better, but most people on the forum could drive one...

dv.

 

[Kawasaki]

Just flicked through the post and got highly animated . /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gifSWMBO just announced "FOOD" hope it,s not "Hedgehog" soup again, cos we,re skint here in Wales .Burk still a w*nker /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif . Agree with sighmoon,s first sentence

 

[A1Sailor]

Have any of you read James Bourke's article which is at:
http://bmj.bmjjournals.com/cgi/content/full/332/7552/1281?ehom

He makes some points which are worthy of serious debate.

 

[Kawasaki]

Yes but where does it end? Not a Rugby Player myself arn,t there many areas of the game which could induce similar injuries? It,s what is known today as a"Full contact Sport" I believe. If Burk wants to "Dilute" The Scrum where to next? Look at Sky Diving, Moto GP, even F1,which has really gone down the safety route, there will still be injuries. You can,t get more "Padded" than American "Football" the participants of that game still get "Busted Up". I raced motor bikes for 20 years but I,m probably doing more damage to myself supping whiskey and blathering on this Forum . Perhaps He should be channeling His advice towards ,Rock Climbers, Pot holers,Boxers,Wrestlers(maybe not!),Judo Players,Skiing Bods,Horse Jumpers, Go karters, Extreme Tiddley Wink players, Give Me Strength. I feelsome V Meldrew coming on /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif