boatone
Well-Known Member
Dateline Reading - 0800-010409
In a surprise move to stimulate interest and involvement in the River Thames, the EA announced this morning that all annual boat licence holders are being entered into a Grand Draw and the first prize is the opportunity to actually run the river for the next twelve months.
The lucky boatrowner will be able to completely control strategy and implementation of all aspects of the River Thames and will act as the EA spokesman on Thames issues at both national and local level.
Aspects of the Thames operations likely to come under the greatest scrutiny by the lucky incumbent are licence fees, dredging, overnight mooring availability and what form the warning signs on locks should take.
On hearing the news, one boater who is eagerly hoping to be the winner, but who prefers to remain anonymous and is known only as Apollo, said:
"I think this is a brilliant idea, but how well it works will, of course, depend on who wins this fantatastic opportunity. Its time for some completely fresh thinking. Instead of arguing about signs to tell us when lock-keepers are on (or more likely off) duty we could recruit a whole volunteer brigade of gongoozlers to provide advice and guidance to numpties on the river that dont know what to do, cant read the signs that tell them what to do, and don't really care as long as someone else does it !
Licence fees should be abolished and a £5 a head visitor levy charged for walking the towpaths, watching the antics of the many (and the superb boatmanship of the few) at locks and mooring locations.
They really do need to do something about Teddington as well..... the way the river is allowed to rise up and down twice a day is ridiculous and imposes very real restrictions on our ability to take quick shopping trips down to London."
Pressed further, Apollo said "I just hope those old grumps Boatone and Brayman don't win and heaven help us if it turns it to be Byron! They'd all just want to put things back to the way things used to be !!!"
Thames Waterway representative Andrea Knew was upbeat about this initiative:
"For years now, we at Sheading Towers have been trying to keeep fewer and fewer people happy with less and less resources and less water in the river. Hardly a day goes by when some disgruntled boater doesnt take a pop at us on that bloody stupid internet forum, they even moan when we put too much water in the river, and I think its time we let them see that this job is no picnic. I mean, would you enjoy spending all day arguing over what colour a damned spot on a lock gate should be? Out damned spots, thats what I say."
Your reporter has a funny feeling this idea may just turn out to be so stupid that anything the EA actually does decide may seem quite sensible.
Mind you, wouldnt it be fun if No Regrets won? Now THAT would be interesting ! /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
In a surprise move to stimulate interest and involvement in the River Thames, the EA announced this morning that all annual boat licence holders are being entered into a Grand Draw and the first prize is the opportunity to actually run the river for the next twelve months.
The lucky boatrowner will be able to completely control strategy and implementation of all aspects of the River Thames and will act as the EA spokesman on Thames issues at both national and local level.
Aspects of the Thames operations likely to come under the greatest scrutiny by the lucky incumbent are licence fees, dredging, overnight mooring availability and what form the warning signs on locks should take.
On hearing the news, one boater who is eagerly hoping to be the winner, but who prefers to remain anonymous and is known only as Apollo, said:
"I think this is a brilliant idea, but how well it works will, of course, depend on who wins this fantatastic opportunity. Its time for some completely fresh thinking. Instead of arguing about signs to tell us when lock-keepers are on (or more likely off) duty we could recruit a whole volunteer brigade of gongoozlers to provide advice and guidance to numpties on the river that dont know what to do, cant read the signs that tell them what to do, and don't really care as long as someone else does it !
Licence fees should be abolished and a £5 a head visitor levy charged for walking the towpaths, watching the antics of the many (and the superb boatmanship of the few) at locks and mooring locations.
They really do need to do something about Teddington as well..... the way the river is allowed to rise up and down twice a day is ridiculous and imposes very real restrictions on our ability to take quick shopping trips down to London."
Pressed further, Apollo said "I just hope those old grumps Boatone and Brayman don't win and heaven help us if it turns it to be Byron! They'd all just want to put things back to the way things used to be !!!"
Thames Waterway representative Andrea Knew was upbeat about this initiative:
"For years now, we at Sheading Towers have been trying to keeep fewer and fewer people happy with less and less resources and less water in the river. Hardly a day goes by when some disgruntled boater doesnt take a pop at us on that bloody stupid internet forum, they even moan when we put too much water in the river, and I think its time we let them see that this job is no picnic. I mean, would you enjoy spending all day arguing over what colour a damned spot on a lock gate should be? Out damned spots, thats what I say."
Your reporter has a funny feeling this idea may just turn out to be so stupid that anything the EA actually does decide may seem quite sensible.
Mind you, wouldnt it be fun if No Regrets won? Now THAT would be interesting ! /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
