Radio Checks

PeteMylett

PeteMylett

Well-Known Member
Joined
11 Apr 2005
Messages
138
Location
Lymington UK
blutek.co.uk
I know we've discussed this before but...

Coming home to Lymington from Poole on Monday my peace and quiete was continually disrupted by these f*ckwits asking for radio checks on CH16

Don't they ever hear their radio check colleagues being asked not to use ch 16? Maybe their radios are off all the time, which is why they feel the need for a check....

It's tempting at times to turn the bl**dy radio off.

Grrrrrrrrrr

Sorry, needed to get that off my chest!
 
Oh the classic last saturday was some muppet calling Dover Coastguard requesting a 'Mayday Distress Call practice please'.
The Coastguard must have the mike velcroed to his chest, cos he must have been rolling on the floor laughing. Managing to keep a straight face and a stern tone he got from one end of the reply sentence to the other without flinching. Sterling effort.
' We dont do distress calling practice over the radio. Are you in difficulty?'
 
Saturday Night (Sea) Fever

I must go down to the sea again:
For the call of the radio checker
Is a dumb call and a naff call,
From a half-arsed dimwit fecker.
And all I ask is freedom,
From the DSC alert,
Which robs me of my beauty sleep
And makes my eardrums hurt.......
 
We heard a boat on Saturday thank the lock master on 68 after locking out, and then ask for a radio check on 16..... we were gobsmacked..... what an idiot...

Only cheered up somewhat by someone locking in a few minutes later with a radio with a feedback loop...... normal procedure was followed to conclusion.... then a 30 sec pause.... then lockmaster transmitted "yacht *******, did you know that you have a wasp trapped in your VHF?"

ROTFLMAO
 
There was a corker in the Solent on Sunday, which went something like: Motor Cruiser that has been having a chat on Ch16, Alan and Mavis, is it?, this is Solent Coastguard. Would you check your radio equipment please, as you are transmitting a carrier.

Never quite sure how the bollockee vessel is supposed to hear the bollocking whilst it is transmitting a carrier though.
 
So what do you do if you suspect you have an aerial problem and need a check (as we did last season and found out we were barely getting out more than a couple of miles, even on high output).

And isn't it wise to check your radio output at the beginning of a new season?
 
Er, you use channel 67 as requested by the coastguard or even better:

1) Try a ship to ship call to a friend

or

2) Call a marina on channel 80

or

3) Any other method that doesn't clog up the emergency channel and annoy other people
 
At least part of the problem must be that the big charter operators (no names, no pack drill) advise their clients to do a radio check when they take over a boat - presumably because it ticks a box in their risk assessment/arse covering routines.

That must account for 40 or 50 checks in the Solent each week?

But I agree, the C/G instructions for radio checks in the Solent are perfectly clear, and as you describe them.
 
Seems to be a common cause of complaint.

So why does someone not develop a repeater device that will listen on some un used or little used channel, say channel X

All you need do is go on channel X press the xmit switch, whistle into mike for a second and then listen.

If the repeater detects your whistle it replies with a suitable comment so you know your wireless is working.

There are loads of 2m repeaters used by amateurs which could easily be modified at little cost.
 
Usually - and in particular when sailing on the South Coast - I just turn the VHF off. Same priciple as with my mobile: I use it to call people, NOT to be called on.

Don't see the point of radio checks at all. If it worked well when you last switched it off, what leads you to believe that it won't work next time you switch it on?
After all, you don't call the AA every morning to check if your car will run?
 
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