Rob_Webb
Well-Known Member
As issued recently by one of the local yacht clubs in their Notice of Race:
7 PROTESTS
There is no requirement to fly a protest flag.
An infringement of the rules can be called by any competitor or the PRO, with a stream of insults that includes the word “Protest”. If called by a competitor, admission of guilt can be acknowledged by completion of a 360 degree “alternative penalty” and be undertaken as soon as possible after infringement (within the leg) and clear of other yachts. This is also an acceptable means of self retribution should you believe your offences were possibly unwitnessed.
In the event that the protestee seeks to argue the protest call, feigning “who me” is good, or a return stream of abuse that includes the word “Bollocks” shall be the acknowledgement.
Parties carrying such grievances to the finish, must advise the PRO no later than 5 minutes after the finish of the race, or within 30 minutes of coming ashore, if their Jolly sank and had to swim for it, or was fouled by a Chinese submarine and dragged backwards to the start… etc, a hearing shall be held under the big Pohutukawa tree after completion of days racing and adjudicated by the first Oneroa Beach dog walker to pass by.
In the case of a lack of obliging dog walkers, the PRO shall convene all available Jolly Blokes to adjudicate. (It being the correct etiquette, to see all at the hearing have a beer at this stage)
In the event those hearing the alleged crimes (Jolly Jury), feel The Rools have been suitably fudged /bluffed, or doubt arises whether the Hammerhead was on starboard before the attack….the rule book shall be referred to. (this is kept in a well sealed box inside steering console of the committee boat).
Anyone making representations, quoting specific sub sections of the rule book, without having their finger on the said page, will be considered to hold an unfair advantage and be immediately penalised a ½ doz Heineken. (a second beer is totally appropriate at this stage)
Should the hearing find in favour of the protestor, the protestee in addition to losing points, shall be required to bring chips and dip in addition to 1 doz Heineken on the next scheduled meeting, or in agreement with the Jolly Jury. Should the hearing find in favour of the protestee, the protestor shall provide the said
Heineken and chips as penance for a bad call.
Before escalating into an arm wrestle, full rights of the appeal process, as provided by the WBC must be gone through, but shall invoke the “Alinghi Rule”: forthwith an undertaking shall be made to purchase all at the hearing, including, PRO, Jolly Jury and said dog walker, copious quantities of Heineken, prior to re-hearing the case, with a more favourable attitude. (any thoughts of similarities to a Kangaroo Court are coincidental, totally without foundation and are best kept to oneself)
7 PROTESTS
There is no requirement to fly a protest flag.
An infringement of the rules can be called by any competitor or the PRO, with a stream of insults that includes the word “Protest”. If called by a competitor, admission of guilt can be acknowledged by completion of a 360 degree “alternative penalty” and be undertaken as soon as possible after infringement (within the leg) and clear of other yachts. This is also an acceptable means of self retribution should you believe your offences were possibly unwitnessed.
In the event that the protestee seeks to argue the protest call, feigning “who me” is good, or a return stream of abuse that includes the word “Bollocks” shall be the acknowledgement.
Parties carrying such grievances to the finish, must advise the PRO no later than 5 minutes after the finish of the race, or within 30 minutes of coming ashore, if their Jolly sank and had to swim for it, or was fouled by a Chinese submarine and dragged backwards to the start… etc, a hearing shall be held under the big Pohutukawa tree after completion of days racing and adjudicated by the first Oneroa Beach dog walker to pass by.
In the case of a lack of obliging dog walkers, the PRO shall convene all available Jolly Blokes to adjudicate. (It being the correct etiquette, to see all at the hearing have a beer at this stage)
In the event those hearing the alleged crimes (Jolly Jury), feel The Rools have been suitably fudged /bluffed, or doubt arises whether the Hammerhead was on starboard before the attack….the rule book shall be referred to. (this is kept in a well sealed box inside steering console of the committee boat).
Anyone making representations, quoting specific sub sections of the rule book, without having their finger on the said page, will be considered to hold an unfair advantage and be immediately penalised a ½ doz Heineken. (a second beer is totally appropriate at this stage)
Should the hearing find in favour of the protestor, the protestee in addition to losing points, shall be required to bring chips and dip in addition to 1 doz Heineken on the next scheduled meeting, or in agreement with the Jolly Jury. Should the hearing find in favour of the protestee, the protestor shall provide the said
Heineken and chips as penance for a bad call.
Before escalating into an arm wrestle, full rights of the appeal process, as provided by the WBC must be gone through, but shall invoke the “Alinghi Rule”: forthwith an undertaking shall be made to purchase all at the hearing, including, PRO, Jolly Jury and said dog walker, copious quantities of Heineken, prior to re-hearing the case, with a more favourable attitude. (any thoughts of similarities to a Kangaroo Court are coincidental, totally without foundation and are best kept to oneself)
