Prospective Candidate for the Scuttlebutt Party

BlueSkyNick

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I am thinking of standing in the upcoming election, either as an independant or by forming a party of likeminded individuals. My manifesto will be based on the following policies:

1. The speed limit for all leisure boats under power will be 7 knots. There will be no limit for any vessel under sail.

2. VAT on boats imported from France and Germany will be increased to 35% whilst VAT on boats produced in the UK will be reduced to zero. This will have the effect of rejuvinating the UK boat production industry. VAT on boats imported from Sweden will remain as is, on the basis that nobody can afford them anyway.

3. There will be a new form of tax known as the Radio Cheque. VHF sets will be developed to automatically transmit their MMSI number to a central database, and Ofcom will bill the registered user on a monthly basis, at £1 per minute of transmission.

4. Scottish yachtsmen will only be allowed to communicate in public using correct Oxford English

5. The Colregs will be dramatically simplified, in that they will be abolished completely and replaced by one rule - every vessel shall give way to any bigger vessel.

6. Any ongoing legislation and debate will be dropped, particularly pertaining to light dues, drinking at sea, and tax on diesel.

7. Boat ownership will be restricted to residents in counties with a coastline, such as Hampshire, Lancashire etc. Residents of Wiltshire, Oxon, Middlesex etc will be prohibited from owning a boat. This will significantly reduce vehicular traffic heading for harbours, particularly on Friday evenings.

8. In addition to 7., all caravans will be destroyed by the end of the year.

My main predicament is to find a suitable constituency - any marginal seat within a 10 minute walk to a marina will suffice.

Feel free to offer additional policies for the manifesto. Similarly, any nominations for other constituencies will be welcomed.
 

machurley22

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Popular Policies

Boating forums will only be allowed threads which have some connection, however tenuous, with boating. You'll get my vote anyway.

Dave
 

cliff

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Annual marina fees (berthing charges) shall not exceed £20 per metre LOA/annum

Electricity shall be available to all berth holders at 6p per Kwh. No connection charge nor surcharge will be permitted.

Boat owners shall be allowed to dispose of (fire / let off) OoD flares etc. on Nov 5 18:00~2400 and new years eve 23:55 ~ 00:05 Jan 1

Powered leisure boats, irrespective of size, shall always give way to sail boats even if the sail boat is motoring.

Skippers of Sailing boats shall be permitted to carry arms and use same to repel any boarder or correct the attitude of any C&E personnel.
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Becky

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I know this will sound awful, but that is seriously the most believable manifasto I have yet seen!!
Could you possibly include the following? Please?
Red diesel; maybe tax free for boat owners, certainly those who actually use their boats.
Then there should be something about lobster pots; possibly confiscation of all equipment left in sailing areas.
No charges for Trinity House lighthouses and buoyage.
A windfall tax for overcharging marinas, or a reduced tax rate for those charging reasonable annual rates, (including refunds for when your berth is re-let when you are away) :
grin: /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 

peterb

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[ QUOTE ]
Annual marina fees (berthing charges) shall not exceed £20 per metre LOA/annum


[/ QUOTE ]

I could never agree with price control like this. However, our tax policy would be that marinas are taxed at 110% for any fees in excess of .........
 

graham

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Re: Popular Policies

Mac Hurley 22 Dont vote for Nick stand yourself for the Boaty topics for boaty forums party. Are you in the Owners association ? A friend of mine was telling me about the planned Hurley rally to Cherbourg .Hes hoping to crew for someone but being a well fed lad a Hurley 30 would probably be better!(Sorry Andy if your lurking /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif)
 

graham

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Bloomin Heck Nick I think your only getting into politics for selfish reasons. You should fit in well in the House of Commons then.Dont ban Caravans though all the caravanners will buy AWBs and put them on trailers. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 

Sybarite

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[ QUOTE ]
Red diesel; maybe tax free for boat owners, certainly those who actually use their boats.

[/ QUOTE ]

And for boat owners' cars as well...?

John
 

machurley22

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Hurley Rally

The Hurley Cherbourg trip sounds like a fine jolly but the start line is a bit far away for me, over 500 miles probably! Hope your mate Andy finds a berth.

Dave
 

tworeefs

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Beg to differ on the coastline point as I reckon that the banks of the river Thames count. On that basis Middlesex and others should be included.

Non-usage of boats kept in marinas should be taxed. Proceeds to be redirected to worthy nautical institutions. This would empty marinas at a stroke and drive down marina fees.
 

cozy

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May I suggest the decimalisation of time too, eg. 10 seconds to a minute, 10 minutes to an hour etc. Much easier than the 24 hour clock.
 

doris

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Easy cure for marina charges

All applications for new marinas/moorings/wharfside berths shall take precedence over the continued existence of the lesser spotted warbling newt last seen 25 years ago but now suspected of being on some marshy wasteland that could be made productive.
 

ShipsWoofy

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Outlaw all marinas. Everyone will be forced to return to moorings and thus stop the eye sores that are more commonly known as NCP errr marinas which now appear to ruin every quiet backwater in the UK.

Park and ride tractor drivers to be taught to wait their turn they have no more right to use the slipway as me in my tender.

yachts will be forced to lower their canopies when travelling around harbours in order that the skipper may have a small chance of seeing those using tenders rather than his current view of 6 year old frosted plastic.
 

Evadne

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More policies?

Hunting is to be introduced for jet skis. This could be extended to caravans if the House of Lords throws out the ban.

Vote for Nick!
 
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