Play? Doh!

[longjohnsadler]

Tomorrow evening the local riding club are arriving 'chez nous' for the annual Christmas thrash.
One member has confirmed that they are bringing with them 2 gallons (yes thats TWO GALLONS) of plum poteen - obviously legit. in the outer reaches of Chontae Dhun na nGall. I have suggested, not unreasonably, that the dress code for lady members (i.e. 95 per cent) should be lycra jodhpurs and knee-length leather boots (riding crop optional, but to be encouraged).
Unfortunately I now find myself banished to the outer office for that evening.
Is there anything on tv, or should I go out and find my own entertainment?

If replying, please try and use the word 'boat' at least once. This is a sailing forum.

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[jimi]

Boat! Yer aff yer nut! Can ye no jist imagine Esme O'Toole in lycra jodpurs ... her arse is the size and shape of a large planet ... better off in outer space never mind the outer office ...

<hr width=100% size=1>.. when's that again, but ..

 

[Twister_Ken]

Prince Charles\'s choice

Get out of the house to the boat. Most lady riders bear an uncanny resembalance to their mounts. Witness Camilla Parker-Bowles.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[longjohnsadler]

Yes,but

unfortunately, the boat has been run aground up a tidal creek for the winter in the nether regions of Lough Swilly and can only be reached by crossing half a mile of foul-smelling waist deep mud. Are you suggesting I try this alone, in the dark, after half a gallon of poteen?(Always supposing I can sneak in and blag some).
Anyway, I'd have to ask my tidal consultant about er the tide (Jimi), and I'm not sure he got it right last time.

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[longjohnsadler]

Ah, yes, young Esme. I won't hear another harsh word...
By the way, which planet was that?

Oops. Boat!

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[Twister_Ken]

Face up to it like a wimp

I detect a negative tone in your missives which might be taken to imply you would rather be chez-swmbo and trodden all-over by booted-and-spurred equine-faced ladies with jodphur-clad calloused buttox, each the size and texture of Claymore's award-winning cauliflowers. In this libertine age, such a perversity is nothing to be ashamed of, and you should admit it, to yourself, and to those close to you (including the editor of one of the more salacious top shelf magz) for the good of your mental health.

My bill is in the post.

PS. Boat.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>

 

[longjohnsadler]

Complete nonsense and totally untrue -

Claymore's cauliflowers have never won anything.

And I wasn't the first one to mention magz. The only ones you'll find on my boat are yachting ones.

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[FullCircle]

Re: Face up to it like a wimp

What a splendid fellow Twister Ken is. Not only sprinkles sage advice, but does it cheerily. Also witness the eminently reasonable price for such nuggets of wisdom. If I paid him the fifty quid, I couldn't investigate the top shelf though. Some choice....
Whatever you do, dont offer to stay sober and drive the Harpies home after the shindig. I have bussed 11 pis*ed ladies back from a night club at 2 in the morning, and it was a nightmare. And they weren't drinking poteen.
Suggest borrowing someone elses boat if yours is across a bog....

Jim

<hr width=100% size=1>Second Chance - First Love. Hasn't anybody else got a little Jouet? I feel lonely!

 

[themount2]

The Planet of the Day apparently is URANUS.
You never know they may even have a BOAT there!

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[jimi]

Whit Planet?

Could be planet of the apes

here's a picture of Esme on the toilet ... sat in the urn

<hr width=100% size=1>.. when's that again, but ..

 

[claymore]

Technically incorrect

One won the Tobermory Allcomers Award for the Least Popular Evening Meal 2003.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[longjohnsadler]

Re: Whit Planet?

Mentioning the 'b' word in your first post but not subsequent ones shows little dedication to the cause and is quite frankly not good enough.
Your are therefore sent to Birmingham (close to Coventry but not quite, in case we need to consult you later on tidal matters).
Its also about as far as you can get from a boat.

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[jimi]

Wash yer mooth oot!

Ah did mention a boat .. see attached piccie ye daft leprechaun!

<hr width=100% size=1>.. when's that again, but ..

 

[longjohnsadler]

Re: Technically incorrect

Er, congratulations?

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[claymore]

Re: Wash yer mooth oot!

Leprechaun - did ye see the size of him? - If he fell over he'd be half way home.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[Twister_Ken]

Birmingham, the Venice of Birmingham

Birmingham - about as far as you can get from a boat?

Jings, man, it's where the Doge of Venice got the idea of smelly ditches running through a city centre from. Then Canaletto started painting them and said,"Hey, Doge, don't make it bad, take a sad ditch and make it better." And so the Doge did, and renamed them canals in honour of his court painter. Which is why Brum with canals in gay profusion (well maybe just profusion) has more boats than the Royal navy and the British merchant marine put together.

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