Petrol Station - light relief

Danny_Labrador

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13 Oct 2004
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Two aliens landed in the deepest darkest area of mid Wales near a petrol station that had been closed for the night. They approached one of the petrol pumps and the younger of the two aliens addressed it. "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
The petrol pump didn't respond.
The younger alien started to get mad at the lack of response and the older one said, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated the greeting. Again, there was no response.
Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I will fire." The older alien again warned his comrade, "You don't want to do that; You
really don't want to make him mad!"
"Rubbish," replied the younger alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and fired.
There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared outwards and towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him in a burnt and crumpled mess 200 yards away in a disused sheep dip.
Thirty-five Earth minutes later, when he finally regained consciousness, refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna, he looked dazedly up at the wiser one, who was standing over him, slowly shaking his big green head.
"What a ferocious creature," said the young fried one. "It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?" The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler onto the crispy, peeling flesh and shared some knowledge.
"If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy," said the wise old alien. "When a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his ear, you don't mess with him."
 

Sgeir

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Stirling
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Spacecraft heading for Bonnybridge took a wrong turn and landed at Fairfields yard on the Clyde. One of the wee guys gets out and asks to be taken to the Red Leader.

Ended up in the paint shop.
 

Alex_Blackwood

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19 May 2003
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Fareham
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Space craft lands in N. Ierland, occupant gets out and and walks down place called Gervachy Rd. Lady comes out brandishing large broom "Who do think you are"?
"I am a Martian" "Not down this bloody road your not"!
 
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