Persuading one's other half to sail more

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YAYoHamble

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Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

Mrs YaYoH doesn't really mind sailing but she's never really relaxed and properly enjoying a day on the water until we're tied up. And in a restaurant.

I'd like to spend a couple of weeks exploring northern France next year but she's currently adamant that she'll never cross the Channel. In fact, she's never ventured out of the Solent. Hopefully that'll be rectified this summer as we're planning on sailing, en famille, to Poole.

So, what tips do you have?
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

My SWMBO is the same, future solution, she flies over I do and long distance sailing with mates. Who could ask for anything more!
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

Tell her you are heading to Yarmouth, then just keep going past the Needles and South! /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

Yep , that's what I'd do /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif although I don't have that problem luckily
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

F3 on the beam or stay put. Be inventive with the shore based entertainment (en famille) if you dont go that day, and try not to look crestfallen. Dont even think about Channel until she has mastered just seeing the English Coast.

alt.

Buy Mrs Y a ferry ticket and book a hotel for her so that if you dont meet her on time, she will be relaxed anyway.

Take your time, and dont lose your patience. Could take seasons I'm afraid.
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

Be the last time she ever went sailing though!

Get her to choose something new for the boat, perhaps ask for her input on something really simple like some new cushions for down below, or perhaps a replacement sound system if she's not a galley slave ( /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif )..... get her to take more ownership for the boat.... sounds like it might be 'your' boat... and not hers!

edit: Just re-read that and it sounds really chauvanistic.... but you know what I am trying to say!
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif yep , I fear you are correct as usual /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif previous comment to be ignored if you please
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

Get a ryanair flight to Napels-Puzzuoli. Rent a yacht and sail to Capri and Ischia. She'll get t. ANd when she gets it, then introduce her o the hardships of the Channel.
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

That'll be me
CAFUEPFV.gif
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

May I humbly suggest that somehow you've got to move from 'puts up with sailing' to 'like sailing and takes an active part in it' The active part is critical. She needs to have 'ownership' of what is going on. Being involved and helping make decisions. Being comfortable that she can turn the boat round and get back to you if you fall in might be a part of her fears.. There are lots of reasons why the channel might be too much just yet.

However there's NOTHING wrong with letting her fly/ferry and hotel while you sail across with your mates. Then give her a lovely relaxing time between French Restaurants.
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

You know what its like trying to teach em to drive better they go to a school. /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif

So why not encourage her to go on a weeks "day skipper "course /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif....................

you never know your luck /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif.....................................................................

she might run off with the skipper /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

The first time my wife sailed with me on a trans atlantic she swore she would never do it again. The second time she just swore at me.
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

How about a 5 day day skipper practical course. Help her to stop feeling like a reluctant passenger and more involved and in control of the situation.
Given the additional cofidence that using a boat without hubby breathing down her neck and ready to criticise (even if gently) will give, your better half will surely be ready to contribute much more, and thus enjoy sailing.
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

As and when you find the solution to this let me know. SWMBO and I sailed together for years racing dinghies (Ents) but she has not made the transition to a big boat. Something about a lack of rescue boats.

My first tack (so to speak) was to try and get her to write about it (see the Reluctant Sailor link below). This year we are planning "fish and chip and ice cream sailing). Every trip to the boat involves ice cream, and the day ends with fish & chips. I think I also have agreement to a weekend away, but it does involve an overnight stay at Colintraive hotel (which is very nice).

As another poster has said, it could take years.

John
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

Perhaps you are on a fool's errand. Couldn't it be that she really doesn't like sailing and the jaunts in the Solent are her way of sharing with you, but that's where it stops.
I can see a parallel situation if Mrs Lakesailor (for instance) was mad on horses I would maybe go for a gentle equine amble through summer fields, but a holiday pony trecking in France or lama leading in Scotland just doesn't appear above my event horizon.

Mrs Lakesailor likes the gentle sails in the sunshine, but prefers the waterborne gentleman's carriage we have now.
She would never step foot in the Heron and my trimaran project will not feature a second bum space either.
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

DO NOT RUSH HER SHE WILL GIVE UP SAILING FOR EVER IF YOU DO.
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

Yup - any ideas welcome to deal with similar issues of confidence.

F'rinstance, SWMBO is adamant we will not cross the channel without "someone who knows what they are doing" (i.e. on board/sailing in company/on their boat).

Could be a long process.
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

Key words are: confidence, information, compromise, involvement and ownership.

Mrs Bella Donna is a short-distance, fair-weather sailor by instinct and the finest exponent of the 'what if...' syndrome in the western spiral arm.

I made a major breakthrough when we bought Bella Donna by making her part owner (previous boats had been owned in partnership with a friend so this wasn't appropriate). She now takes a much more active part, even antifouiling.

She gets bored on long passages and, if we are two-handed, worries all the time that I'll fall overboard and she won' be able to get home (no thought of picking me up, of course). So we tend to make longer passages with friends; more conversation, less boredom and someone to get her home/pick me up). Cross Channel passages are done by friends and I with spouses going by ferry/plane.

On shorter passages information is the thing - where are we going? where are we? What's that black sticky-up bit on the port bow? Do killer whales come this far north?

She also gets cross when I try to run the boat singlehanded - which I tend to do in tehe mistaken believe that I am giving her a restful time. She is happier with something to do, preferably not in the galley and she hates taking the helm (except when anchoring!)
 
Re: Persuading one\'s other half to sail more

Simple, leave the wife at home and take the girlfriend!





Or PM me for one of our all lady courses, instructed by ladies!!



Al. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
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