Ozzy Joke (No boat connection at all)

Coo, I thought you had the edge until this post. Now you have blown it, by undercutting the lowest common denominator.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
There.
 
Re: Mirth generators

Ooops, sorry Chris, yes, we are getting into very technical stuff here - mirth generators are very complex human creations that are probably far too complicated for even the the most experienced PBO boffins to analyse and rebuild successfully ! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Is that the Castle or just any old Castle? /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif Oh and can I bring me Mam? /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Don't worry, I had my tongue in my cheek! /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
You be careful, you'll be running out of breath, you gotta watch it at your age! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Young Aussie in an Earls Court rd. bar was bragging about his sexual achievements to two of his friends, who were getting a bit bored with the whole thing so,
they decided to ask a local girl who was known to like a good time to seduce him and report back with his performance rating.
After a few minutes chat-up she has lured him back to her flat, and it's not long before they are in the bedroom.
As she is getting undressed he lifts up the bed and props it up against the wall, next he shoves the wardrobe into the corner, then he puts the bedside table on to the top of the wardrobe.
"Wow" she says "Just how good are you with women?"
"Well" he says "To tell the truth lady I've never done it with a shelia before, but,
If it's anything like a roo we're gona need a lotta room.
 
/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif 10 / 10!
 
Eeee by ekk I think a big thank to Oen is due with out his mini rant We would not have had all this merriment. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
snoopy.gif



Me, too..

/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
absolutely , can't see what all the fuss was about because it clearly says ' ozzie joke , nothing boatie , so why do people looking for a boatie post click on it
 
Thank you Oen. I've been out for a meal at my Sister-in-law's. The one in the Lake District, not the Australian one wot lives is Australia. So I haven't seen all this merriment.
Ah. It does gladden your heart to see that everyone is not the same. That someone has the balls to stand up for decency and good manners and has the British uprightness to tell the moderator that he is a useless pile of shite.
Erm. That is what you're saying isn't it?

I should think you'll get the hang of it all after a few more postings.

(Chill out a bit on the violence threats though, even if in jest, the moderator does know what he is doing, and he really doesn't like those.)
 
From Ozzy joke to Liverpool to Fleetwood- My wife thinks Iam daft-what a Forum -fantastic (hat off to PickledPig) /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
 
Ahh but then some of these are the same people who got CG1 banned because they didn't like a post of his which also clearly annouced its content in its title...
 
Re: Sydney Harbour Race Day

Just lurking around and spotted this busy post and thought in the season of good will perhaps we can reach a compromise /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif






A dinghy racer in a Skiff called
'jackaroo' radios back to the
station committee boat: "Hey boss, I have one
hell of a problem here. I hit a
bloody pig with the mast. The pig's
OK, but he's stuck in the rigging
at the front and is squealing and
wriggling around so much I can’t
get him out." The commodore says,
"OK, there's a 303 rifle behind the helm
seat, take it out and shoot the
bloody pig in the head, then you'll
be able to remove him."
Five minutes later the
skipper calls back. "I did as you
said boss. I took the 303 and shot
the bloody pig in the head and
removed him from the rigging. No
problem there, but I still can't go
on." "Now what's the problem?"
raged the commodore. "Well Boss,
it’s his motor bike. The bloody
flashing blue light’s jammed tight
between the boom as I knocked him off the Sydney Harbour Bridge.......................Hello?
Ya there boss?"




Now its suitable for this forum /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

/forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif
/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

(smileys are my daughters contribution)
 
Re: Lets give the cops a rest.

Three deer hunters go to Heaven. They are met at the pearly gates by St. Peter. St. Peter says to them, "Welcome to Heaven, you three will get along hear just fine, as long as you remember our number one rule. Don't harm any deer. God really gets mad if you harm any of his deer." The three deer hunters thought that was pretty reasonable and they all went off to explore Heaven. The first deer hunter was driving along enjoying the sights of Heaven, and "CRASH" he runs right over a deer and kills it. Then instantly this really ugly woman appears in the seat right next to him. He then realizes that they are shackled together with a heavy chain. The voice of God rings out "You two will be shackled together for eternity." The second deer hunter heard about this and decided that he better be more careful with his driving. He was driving along enjoying the sights of Heaven, and this buck jumped out of the ditch and "CRASH" he runs right over the buck and kills it. Then instantly this even uglier woman appears in the seat right next to him. He then realizes that they are shackled together with a heavy chain. The voice of God again rings out "You two will be shackled together for eternity." The third hunter hears about this and decides he is going to quit driving. The next day he decides he will go for a walk in the forest. After walking for about a mile he spots a log over looking a meadow and sits down for a rest. Then instantly this beautiful woman appears on the log right next to him. He then realizes that they are shackled together with a heavy chain. The deer hunter says to her "Where did you come from?" The beautiful woman says "The last thing that I remember, I was just driving along and "CRASH" I hit this deer."
 
Re: Lets give the cops a rest.

Having read all six pages I remain usure which caused me the most laughter; those who posted the jokes or the discussion of where they should be posted!!!!!!
 
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