Overheard Sailing

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B175Chris

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This has come up before but the recent VHF threads reminded me, a site called http://www.overheardsailing.com has little snippits of conversations over VHF/in pubs etc, very funny stuff most of the time, and quite fun if you're bored /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif

an example:

Man #1: Would you ever consider slapping some advertising on your sails?
Man #2: Only if it’s Durex. In big letters.

Where: Honfleur Sailing Club Bar, France
Who: Sailor

or

Man: What’s that noise?
Woman: That comes on at dusk, it’s an anti-bird device, it stops birds settling on the shrowds and shitting all over our deck.
Man: Does it work?
Woman: So far I only have a facial twitch from the piercing sound, but I am sure it will all pass and we will start to fully enjoy our bird-free lifestyle.

Where: Brest, France
Who: Anonymous

Chris
 
This is apparently true:-

[ QUOTE ]
An American ship was out in the ocean when thecaptain noticed something on the radar that was directly in their path. He got on the radio an said “I honorably request that you alter your course 15 degrees north to avoid an accident.”

The blip on the radar, a Canadian answered back “no, I request that you change your course 15 degrees north to prevent an accident.” At this the American captain became quite angry, so he got on the radio and said, “I am the captain of a US Navy ship, I respectfully demand that you alter your course.”

The Canadian answered back “No, I think you should alter you course.” At this point the captain couldn’t stand it, so he got on the radio and said, “This is the captain of the USS Enterprise, we are the largest ship in the US Navy, I demand that you change your course NOW!”

At this the Canadian calmly got on the radio and said, “We are a small Canadian lighthouse, your call.”


[/ QUOTE ]

/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
liked this one


Customer: We have a problem, the boat is leaning over.
Charter office: Ermm… okay. How far?
Customer: About 45 degrees!
Charter office: Are the sails up?
Customer: No. We’re at anchor.
Charter office: Okay, here’s what you do. Wait six hours and when the tide comes in, move the boat off the reef. Then you can come back here, because we’d like to talk to you.

Where: Whitsundays, Australia, Overheard on a radio schedule one morning
 
It says anonymous, but......... /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[ QUOTE ]
Skipper: Noo! Chris, I told you! Not the heads, it’s brand new!
Chris: Sorry, I had to go, it’s a toilet!
Skipper: You don’t understand.

Where: Fuengirola marina, Spain
Who: Anonymous


[/ QUOTE ]
 
Also overheard on a Whitsunday charter VHF
Customer
Can you send us out another out another anchor and chain please?
Office
What's wrong with the original?
Customer
We used that yesterday.
Office
You'r supposed to pull them up when you leave. Can't you use the spare one for now?
Customer
Ah you never told us that. We used the spare one lunch time.
 
[ QUOTE ]
This is apparently true:-

[ QUOTE ]
An American ship was out in the ocean when thecaptain noticed something on the radar that was directly in their path. He got on the radio an said “I honorably request that you alter your course 15 degrees north to avoid an accident.”

The blip on the radar, a Canadian answered back “no, I request that you change your course 15 degrees north to prevent an accident.” At this the American captain became quite angry, so he got on the radio and said, “I am the captain of a US Navy ship, I respectfully demand that you alter your course.”

The Canadian answered back “No, I think you should alter you course.” At this point the captain couldn’t stand it, so he got on the radio and said, “This is the captain of the USS Enterprise, we are the largest ship in the US Navy, I demand that you change your course NOW!”

At this the Canadian calmly got on the radio and said, “We are a small Canadian lighthouse, your call.”


[/ QUOTE ]

/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Video here
http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2004/m_irish_sea-p1.php]here
 
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