Our soon to be boatless friend from Scotland.

[longjohnsilver]

Am I alone in noticing that Nick R seems to spend all day posting messages on this forum, especially since announcing the sale of his boat! Does he really have a job and what are the odds on him becoming a boat owner again before next summer. I would lay odds of 3 to 1 on. Any advances on this.
PS There are no patches or other cures to get over the withdrawal symptoms other than bobbing around on the water.

 

[duncan]

there's one - poor weather forcasts! - but it doesn't apply to his cruising area 'cos they are always poor but the scenery is worth it (allegedly).

 

[Guest]

Re: very unfair

Nick is involved in webbish things anyway, so he can post here in between all the other stuff. What stuff? Well, for example, one important performanace criteria is the volume of traffic that a website can handle. Trial links and downloads from the most heavily used sites are used for testing. All of which means that it's actually part of the job to wander around the porn sites...

 

[Guest]

Sometimes I have a quiet day and the forum is a small diversion. Also when you are logged in all day most days keeping an eye on what your competitors are doing or readinbg a trend analysis on the website hits, speaking to guys like you provides a little light relief in my average 10 hr working day. Anyway whats wrong with looking for a little sympathy?

I'm working on a plan which has world domination as a key strategy so your name is noted for when the revolution comes!

And am I allowed to place a bet with you on my boat ownership - 3 to 1 on for next summer - hmm!

Nick

 

[duncan]

inflatables don't count - especially sheep............

 

[peterg]

I expect you'll be far too busy organising your impending nuptials to Haydn to worry about a boat!! ;-)

 

[Guest]

My bet is that he will probably last out the Autumn/ Winter, then decide next Spring / Summer that he's had enough of mowing lawns, painting window frames, and generally being a good hubby and rush off and by himself another boat.
Anyway why should he escape the SH 1 T that the rest of us get from our better halves for being far more interested in the boat than anything else.

And while I am on the subject of better halves (watch out I'm in full flow now), why is it when :

1. The weather is crap
2. The boat is broke
3. The mooring fees are due
4. The boat is filthy

Its my boat???

And then When:

1. It's flat calm
2. Nothings gone wrong
3. The boat looks mint
4. Somebody walks passed and admires it

Its our boat???

 

[duncan]

c'est la vie

 

[longjohnsilver]

World domination eh, let's see the plans, they may be useful when dealing with the better halves.
And 10 hour working(?) days, you need a break, maybe a cruise would help! It seems I am not alone in thinking that you'll have your new boat by next summer.

 

[Guest]

Re: variation on a theme

The regular moan I get runs "How come you're prepared to do that (where that = clean, polish, fix things immediately they go wrong, spend money on) on the boat but not in the house?
Similarly, on a nice weekend, we can't go to the boat this weekend, the garden needs done! - - - - Right!

Then there is the silence tariff. When my wife gets mad at me there is usually an initial shouting match (but not always, sometimes it can take a few days before you find out what you've done wrong), followed by a period of silence. The severity of the crime determines the length of silence but it is usually as follows:

Asking her to hurry up when we are going out - depends, possibly a yellow card or one day for a second offence.

Failure to assist in housework for more than one week - 3 days

Embarrassing her in front of friends/colleagues/world at large - 1 week

Discovery of "Boat account" at bank where money siphoned from general income is held so she does not know what it really costs - 10 days

Sometimes, of course, it can work the other way when she offends as follows:

Criticise my driving (boat or car) - 3 days

Call me stupid - quite a lot

Unlike some contributor's wives, she does not throw things at me but prefers to rely on mental torture. Anyone know the address of Amnesty International?

Nick

 

[Guest]

Re: variation on a theme

I assume then that since the boat has gone you will always be on hand for her, hence you will never be in trouble, hence she will always be talking to you.

I,d buy another boat and quick!!!!!!!

 

[cngarrod]

Re: variation on a theme

This sounds exactly like my wife.. almost to the letter... silence for a period depending on offence... then i find out what the offence is.. trivial or otherwise!

The boat acocunt... that will remain 100% confidential... as far as she is concerned, i get most of the bits and pieces from friends or second hand shops!

As for Amnesty international... not sure that they would in a non dictatorship country! might be worth a go though!

Craig.

 

[Guest]

Re: nick\'s boatless hell

Oh dear Nick, I wonder if we can help.

Help with housework. This is expesive initially: you need to break lots of pots whilst whistling and washing up or putting away stuff from dishwasher, also break valuable ornaments whilst dusting, also empty hoover bag kapoof all over the place, clean windows with milky rag, chuck some felt tip pens in the washing. You won't be let near anything again.

Gardening. Dig up entire front garden, and plant lavender, requiring no maintenance for years and years. For rear garden with grass, do a Council Special: chuck wild flower seeds to outer extremities ("there's almost nowhere that these poor rare flowers can grow these days") and just mow a small roundy bit in the middle, which looks quite cute.

Can't help with the not speaking - I think you're over-whingeing there. How can it be a complaint that she doesn't talk? Anyway, perhaps buy a second mobile phone, and fake very concerned calls from work to you main phone, which you'll just have to sort out by yourself, sigh.

 

[longjohnsilver]

Re: variation on a theme

You must be married to an angel - only 10 days of hell after the discovery of the boat account. In my case for days substitute YEARS for each of the misdemeanours. Having said that she actually made her third visit of the year to the boat today, but at the same time made it clear that the three days I spent getting it ready for the season was far too excessive and to not even think about upgrading the boat before the country mansion + paddock + horses + new car etc etc are all purchased.
Consider yourself very lucky!