....or this one

[Bejasus]

It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the post through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family
there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift
cheque for £500.

At the second house they presented him fine Cuban cigars in an 18-carat gold box.

The folks at the third house handed him a case of 30-year old Scotch whiskey.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie.

She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the dumb blonde fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and freshly-squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a £5 note sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the fiver for?"

"Well," said the dumb blonde, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your
last day in the job, and that we should do something special for you.

I asked him what to give you.

He said, '[censored] him. Give him a fiver.'...........

The breakfast was my idea."

 

[tcm]

Re: welcome aboard!...but

without doubt the most dazzling forum debut yet of anyone on this forum! Much better than the normal boat stuff. And I hadn't seen all these jokes anyway. Continue! (apparently welsh jokes are a bit out since the anne robinson thing)

...but if you'rer doinbg a flurry of ribaldry, praps keepem on the same thread (so sort of "reply" to your own previosu joke)

but what the hell, it's getting sunnier so the old threads can whislte off down the page...

 

[Col]

another golden oldie worth a re hash.

Dave, sadly was born without ears, although
> successful in business this problem did annoy him greatly. One day he
> needed to hire a new manager for his company. He set up three
> interviews.
> The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to know and was
> very interesting. But at the end of the interview, Dave asked him, "Do
> you
> notice anything different about me?"
> "Why, yes, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears," came the
> reply.
> Dave did not appreciate his candour and threw him out of the office.
> The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the
> first guy. But he asked her the same question: "Do you notice anything
> different about me?"
> "Well," she said stammering, "you have no ears."
> Dave again got upset and chucked her out in a rage.
> The third and final interviewee was the best of the bunch, he was a
> young man who had recently earned his BSc(Hons). He was smart. He was
> handsome, and he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two
> put
> together.
> Dave was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same
> question:
> "Do you notice anything different about me?"
> And much to his surprise, the young man answered,"Yes, you wear Contact
> lenses, don't you?"
> Dave was shocked and realized this was an incredibly observant person.
> "How in the world did you know that?", he asked.
> The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied,
> "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no f***ing ears!"


http://www.arweb.co.uk/argallery/album02/

 

[Bejasus]

Re: another golden oldie worth a re hash.

Ee, I liked that one mother....

 

[Robin2]

Full marks for the "Hoo"