Oh no - The wife has just got here day skipper

[kunyang]

I have just picked my wife up from Mercury Marina, and my wife has just passed her day skipper. She took it on a 40' Beneteau, with 2 wheels, not our little 28'. I am proud, but, what does the future hold for me. I thought I was in charge. The male bastion of wind and water seems to be gone forever. I suppose I shall have to just sit and sip wine - and take commands (but only if she says please)

 

[Wansworth]

Just make it clear that you freeze up if someone shouts at you!!

 

[Boathook]

You said it. Drink and let her her take charge.

 

[Clyde_Wanderer]

Give her a difficult chart passage planning excercise inc cts, tidel vectors etc and see how she deals with it, but make sure you are out in a good blow while she is carrying out the excercise down below,then get her to take the boat alongside a pontoon with the wind blowing the boat off.
Might be enough to get you back in the trousers.
C_W

 

[ratbag]

just let her take charge, maby she'll understand the frustration of being accused of 'shouting' when giving simple clear instructions

 

[Victoria Sponge]

Congrats to your SWMBO! Go girl go!

 

[Fantasie 19]

Congrats to your SWMBO! Go girl go!

Congratulations indeed... it's Ok by the way, normal service should be resumed soon enough if she's anything like me - I did mine last winter and I've already forgotten 80% of it!

 

[Babylon]

Well done your SWIMBO! Joking aside, the very best possible thing you can do (at first especially) is alternate weekends as skipper, where 'skipper' means full planning and responsibility, AND anxiety! That way she won't forget, she'll increase her skills, and you'll both benefit.

 

[rotrax]

I have just picked my wife up from Mercury Marina, and my wife has just passed her day skipper. She took it on a 40' Beneteau, with 2 wheels, not our little 28'. I am proud, but, what does the future hold for me. I thought I was in charge. The male bastion of wind and water seems to be gone forever. I suppose I shall have to just sit and sip wine - and take commands (but only if she says please)

Give your wife our congratulations-well done. You should be happy she takes an interest,plenty dont. On our boat First Mate likes doing the nav. and passage plan-she can do some of this at work during slack periods and breaks-and I subsequently check it. Practicaly, on the boat she is I/C helm in and out of harbour while I do the heavy stuff with sails,fenders and warps and the jumping on and off quaysides and pontoons. Once under way with the course set and the sails or motor driving "George" the autopilot takes over while we share watch duty. In the solent at busy times we both do this,one peeping under the genoa to leeward and the other watching the windward side. On passage in open waters I am better at nights whilst she prefers day watches, but we dont argue,just get on with what is needed. Before sailing we rode a motorcycle sidecar outfit in long distance trial events. One of these,the Lands End Trial could mean over 22 hours on the bike with two 1 hour meal stops and a 20 min. coffee stop.The rest of the time you were riding the bike,sometimes over very challenging terrain. I suppose we built up teamwork and trust during this time-25 years on the same bike! Sailing has a lot in common with motorcycling-you are wet and cold for some of the time-but at least you can put the kettle on in a boat. 2am across Exemoor in a blizzard with 10 metre visibility was quite common and no shelter apart from your helmet,goggles and clothing,if you wanted a warm drink you had to give up valuable space to carry it. Sailing has replaced motorcycling for us but it is very much a joint exercise as was our motorcycling. Hope it works out for you two as well-Good Luck!

 

[Sandy]

I have just picked my wife up from Mercury Marina, and my wife has just passed her day skipper.

WELL done Mrs.

I am all for two Day Skippers on board.

 

[Victoria Sponge]

Give your wife our congratulations-well done. You should be happy she takes an interest,plenty dont. On our boat First Mate likes doing the nav. and passage plan-she can do some of this at work during slack periods and breaks-and I subsequently check it. Practicaly, on the boat she is I/C helm in and out of harbour while I do the heavy stuff with sails,fenders and warps and the jumping on and off quaysides and pontoons. Once under way with the course set and the sails or motor driving "George" the autopilot takes over while we share watch duty. In the solent at busy times we both do this,one peeping under the genoa to leeward and the other watching the windward side. On passage in open waters I am better at nights whilst she prefers day watches, but we dont argue,just get on with what is needed.

What a sensible post! We're pretty much the same. I sure it makes for better sailing and a happier time if you share things. I don't believe there's any point having someone "in charge" when there's just the two of you.

 

[Bosun Higgs]

Might be enough to get you back in the trousers.
C_W

Or on the other hand she may get it right and you get it wrong Never get in a fight you cant win.

I dont know why so many of us men get all hung up about who does what. For example, most men insist on taking the boat alongside or steering to pick up a mooring leaving the physically weaker female to do the leaping about and pulling on ropes. Long since learned that its better the other way round and tbh my wife is better at coming alongside a buoy than I am anyway.

Her ability to stop the boat precisely where it needs to be every time, no problem, gets me down.

 

[lustyd]

For example, most men insist on taking the boat alongside or steering to pick up a mooring(

I think you'll find that "most men" have not found a lady with sufficient interest who would be capable of these things, and any frustration is down to their SWMBO sunbathing while they handle the boat AND deal with the ropes.

 

[Victoria Sponge]

I agree that helming is often the easier bit, whilst the heaving stuff is better done by the stronger partner.

Yes, there are women who aren't that interested, but I'm not surprised sometimes when you hear the shouting that goes on.

I've come across a few couples when the man thinks he's skipper and she has to do as she's told.

I know a lot of women who like sailing.

 

[Scotty_Tradewind]

swmbo has just begun doing her shore based DS theory. I'm really grateful to her for wanting to share some of the theory involved and I can see it being of benefit to us enjoying cruising together.

One situation that can cause shouting is possibly when coming into harbour to a mooring.

To try and eliminate the need to be heard, swmbo and I have our own simple signals which ask for....
'go for'ard', 'go port', go starboard','stop', go astern' 'speed up' etc.. and similar for anchoring.
It saves an awful lot of risk to the boat and the need to shout.

 

[rotrax]

swmbo has just begun doing her shore based DS theory. I'm really grateful to her for wanting to share some of the theory involved and I can see it being of benefit to us enjoying cruising together.

One situation that can cause shouting is possibly when coming into harbour to a mooring.

To try and eliminate the need to be heard, swmbo and I have our own simple signals which ask for....
'go for'ard', 'go port', go starboard','stop', go astern' 'speed up' etc.. and similar for anchoring.
It saves an awful lot of risk to the boat and the need to shout.

Hi, When we had a swinging mooring we developed a simple set of steering directions. I stand at the bow with the boathook held out at arms length sideways,with it vertical. By tilting it the way I want her to steer and then up and down verticaly when its time to stop we rarely have a miss. Fist Mate says when I dissapear from her view she knows I am hooking the pickup. The boathook is overlength with a custom made S/S hook and I have a length of floating line tied off in a circle on the pickup. Just put the boathook through this and move to one side and you get it every time. I works for us.

 

[lustyd]

I know a lot of women who like sailing.

Well post their details then!! I happen to have space for one crew member to join the ship

 

[Bosun Higgs]

I think you'll find that "most men" have not found a lady with sufficient interest who would be capable of these things, and any frustration is down to their SWMBO sunbathing while they handle the boat AND deal with the ropes.

Sunbathing, UK coast, at sea????? You must be joking - she'd have nipples like baptist chapel hat pegs!

Most men put women off. Whole load of possible reasons from by providing an old dirty small boat, to the macho man thrash to windward against an F6, to the shouting and yelling ............ But you are right - most men do seem to sail alone or with other men, and chatting to the ladies who do come down to our club makes it painfully obvious why that is.

You catch bees with honey.

 

[Scotty_Tradewind]

I'm reminded of a 'shouting scenario' that we witnessed whilst on holiday this summer.
The skipper from a charter boat could be heard clearly shouting upon entering the anchorage.
Sadly for all concerned, it seemed as if he had very little idea as to what to do and neither had his crew. Small disciplines required for setting an anchor and motoring back to moor on a rock are hardly difficult in calm conditions. They still need to be rehearsed or explained clearly though, so that embarassments don't happen.
The boat boy at this particular anchorage went out in a rib to offer his help and was shouted at too, so he left the scene.
Some minutes later the skipper whistled over to the boat boy who went back and listened to the skippers request and simply gave the reply 'No'. The 'boy' had been shouted at once... too often.
The skipper was seen to be still trying to anchor with lots of shouting a half hour later before motoring off..... a really sad affair especially for his crew.

 

[Victoria Sponge]

Well post their details then!! I happen to have space for one crew member to join the ship

It's no good, they're all in relationships with lovely, patient, caring men!