Non-boaty : Crap Towns

[tcm]

I can thoroughly recommend this little book as a £10 christmas present for warped minds requiring inforamtion and background on the 50 worst towns in Britain. It doesn't feature Bradford, although there's a website which does.

Of boatish relevance is that Hull wins #1 worst place, though notable other relevant mentions must go to
Hythe (4th worst)
Winchester (5th)
Liverpool (6th)
Portsmouth 11th
London 17th
Brighton 22nd
Hayling Island 26th
Horsham 27th





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[claymore]

Well I hope it mentions Cleator Moor, Egremont, Blackpool and Ardrossan
Because if the world had piles - those are prime places for sticking the enema

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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[ParaHandy]

hythe has moved up the pecking order after the dredger re-modelled the pier?

http://www.mcga.gov.uk/c4mca/mcga-d...-release?mcga_news_id=2380&month=11&year=2003


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[Chris_Robb]

I hate towns anyway - so the list will always be read from crapiest down. Trust you to find this book!

Kind of like Portsmouth though - perhaps the Germans should have paid for the Bomb damage as we (the allies) paid for their rebuilding. Or perhaps we should have asked Hitler to shoot our planners

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[kilkerr1]

Mate just bought it, had a most enjoyable time poring over it.

Most chuffed to see my home town Brighton in there - fun as the place is, it's truly jumped-up and pretentious, and getting worse all the time, not to mention the dirtiest place I've ever been.

Brighton take note, it's in the title of the book: you're a town not a city.

Oh, and if you liked that one, you'll love <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0714838950/qid=1068035231/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_3_1/026-8526155-8950037>Boring Postcards</A>. It's strangely hilarious...

Happy reading!

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://kilkerr.members.easyspace.com/santateresa_pics.htm>Santa Teresa and other t'ings</A>

 

[sailbadthesinner]

Re: memories of hull

i went to hull years ago and found it whilst not exactly great far from the worst place in the world. the people were friendly and i got to see all of the place and even the so called rough biuts were not that bad. plus i met a group of nurses who took me clubbing

anyone who lived in liverpool in the 70s and 80s would know what an armpit that was and much of it still is
birmimngham has some pretty bad bits and Tipton has to be seen to be believed
plymouth on a friday night aint fun
but ardrossan???
a lovely wee place from memory, which is a bit blurred to be fair from a rather heavy session on the stewarts while i was there.

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=red>if guinness is good for you. i must be very very good</font color=red>

 

[BlueSkyNick]

Haven't seen the book would like to know the criteria used to measure/judge each place.

Having our boat in Hythe and living near Winchester, its very 'disappointing' to see them both so high up the list. I am prompted to use my most professional consultancy speak - ie 'Its All Bollocks'



<hr width=100% size=1>Real stress is when you wake up in the night and realise you haven't been to sleep yet.

 

[ParaHandy]

Re: blackpool ... ???

ah huv ma savings in yon ernie thing aroondaboot ra blackpool so wud youse shush wi yer insults until ernie hae dun ra numbers fer ra premium bonds as ahm certain thish ish ma lucky month ....

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[tcm]

I think you've been spoilt. Blackpool has got a sandy beach, so not very crap at all. I can offer Crouch End at number 13 but this won't be of interest to you (though some others praps)

Worryingly, I find that even though Bradford is not in the list, I have either lived, holidayed, stayed or made a special visit to 38 out of the worst 50 towns in Britain.

In fact erm, according to this book, Bradford is actualy the nicest town in which I have ever lived. Oh, Leeds as well, that's not in the 50 worst places either


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[Romeo]

Criteria Used

The main one was number of nominations on the following website. I think the brave researchers then went on a tour of crapdom. Have a look on the website. Chances are someone has nominated your favourite place.

http://www.idler.co.uk/html/frontsection/craptown/30_5/england.htm

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[AndrewB]

Boring postcards.

Hey, wanna see the world's <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.museum.red-deer.ab.ca/postcard.htm>MOST BORING POSTCARD</A>?

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[BlueSkyNick]

Re: Criteria Used

Thanks Robbie. The good news is that I thought they meant Hythe in Hampshire, but they are actually referring to the Kent version. So now I am only half as disappointed as I was before !

<hr width=100% size=1>Real stress is when you wake up in the night and realise you haven't been to sleep yet.

 

[burgundyben]

I beg to differ.

Certainly a worthwhile post.

I'd like to see Portsmuff higher up, I come here for 8 hours everyday and its a dump.

Winchester is however quite lovely as its full of delicious young student totty at night.....



<hr width=100% size=1>Sod the Healey - I think I'll buy an E-Type.

 

[tcm]

Mentioned in dispatches

"...(Winchester's) reactionary character is defined by the town's most odious institution, Winchester School. Public schoolboys stride the historic streets...gently rotting ...half-timbered ...fablon" yep, it's all there.



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[kilkerr1]

Re: Boring postcards.

Not bad, Sir, not bad at all...

I have, however, just stumbled across an e-card version of the boring postcards book: <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.retroglobe.com/boring_postcards/default.asp?>email boring postcards to your loved ones for free</A>! Ah, the world is truly a wondrous place...



<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://kilkerr.members.easyspace.com/santateresa_pics.htm>Santa Teresa and other t'ings</A>

 

[jhr]

Re: Mentioned in dispatches

As a resident of Winchester, I can vouch for the student totty count. It's also the home of Mrs jhr, however, which rather limits my scope for doing anything more than playing the disinterested bystander.

I gather that Basingstoke is high up the list as well (about no. 8?) which must have led to some interesting editorial discussions, 'cos Macmillan, who published the book, have a big office there.

I have to admit that Winchester can border on the reactionary, but it's an unpredictable place in many ways. In spite of its image it is, indeed, crawling with students and the annual Hat Fair street theatre festival, which is next stop after Glastonbury, means that the whole place is taken over by crusties for a weekend each summer. Also it has a Liberal MP, having chucked out the deeply reactionary John Browne - a Tory greaseball who cheated on his wealthy wife, divorced her and had her consigned to prison when she refused to pay him half her worldly wealth. A real silver-tongued charmer.

I've never seen a Fablon building, though I suspect that some of the shop flooring in Town is made of Teakdek.



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[jamesjermain]

I can't think how pretty, historic, leafy etc etc WInchester has managed to get so high up.

Maybe its because housing is grossly expensive; parts of the 'inner city' are a no go area on Friday nights for right thinking middle aged fogies; the young complain there are no nightclubs, the old complain there are too many; the bus service is crap; the car parking is gold plated; the council planners are fools; tourists swarm in summer and the shops are mostly second rate.

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[tcm]

Yep, you're obviously an expert. Er in fact i will just have to nip of and check the author of the bit about winchester.....

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[Peppermint]

Re: Anywhere near the sea is alright

I live at least two hours from the sea, at highly illegal speeds, in any direction.

My nearest town is Aylesbury which has become a town so devoid of purpose and character that even if it moved near the sea it would be a pit.

Blackpool is a wonderful town.

How did Slough do?

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[hlb]

This is the report on the town I was brought up in. It will never win the contest though. No one there has a conputer!!

Town/Village: Bacup

An anagram of Bacup is Bollocks. Well, if you came from Bacup, you'd fall for that.

The vast majority of the inhabitants can barely spell dole on their benefit form.

The only reason that Kappa haven't built a factory here to supply the townies is that it would provide jobs... and they wouldn't want that.

Oh no,...the dole is just fine thank you. And if all else fails, become a drug dealer. And if that doesn't work, you can always stand about and do nothing. Which is the favourite past time of "bored" youngsters here.

Rain is an integral part of every day modern Bacup living. You would have thought the locals would have realised that when they vandalise something in (stolen) marker pen, that they don't have to go back the next day and write some more - the rain doesn't wash stuff off on the INSIDE of the bus stop.

The most interesting feature in this cesspool of the Pennines is a sign saying "you are now leaving Bacup". Or at least it would be if it hadn't been stolen.

Against all of the above, Bacup does have a very efficient dumping ground. The River Irwell. Lovely shade of orange. "Its been tangoed".

Michael Ashford

MAGGOTS

I think the person who wrote the review of Bacup is obviously someone who used to live there and has now moved on . This has led him/her to flights of fancy about the state of the town. He/she paints a picture of doom and gloom and fails to note several places of note in Bacup.
1. The local Tesco where, you may take money from the cash machines only to have it stolen from you by the gangs of unwashed, "boarder dudes" who loiter around this mecca of enetrtainment.
2. The 'loverly' local pubs where you may sit on broken stools at cracked tables, no doubt broken in Saturday nights only entertainment, "I'm gonna have a fight with me mate"
3. And, the 'piece de la resistance' of Bacup, the maggot farm a few miles out of town towards Todmorden whose sultry aroma can be smelt throughout Bacup on days when the wind blows from the East.

Lee Neville



<hr width=100% size=1> <font color=blue>No one can force me to come here.<font color=red> I'm a volunteer!!.<font color=blue>

Haydn