Night Watch

[tome]

She who must obey me has just gone to bed (ho ho how we laughed at his sudden boldness!)

Should I;-

1 Follow her upatairs
2 Maintain a watch
3 Continue posting?

Must dash...

 

[BrendanS]

Ah! a subject I'm expert in at last! <g>

It's all about training. Stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning for about 2 consecutive weeks, then attempt to creep quietly into bed. Won't matter, she'll be wide awake anyway, and ask what you were up to. Ignore.

Eventually you'll get the bol**king of all time. Don't worry, this is to me expected, and is part of the training process. Promise you'll be better behaved in future, and go to bed at normal time for 3 nights.Then revert to late nights for 2 nights. More trouble ahead. Repeat this process.

Lots of grief for a while and you'll become very tired from all those 4-5am stints on watch.

Eventually it becomes part of her normal pattern, and she will become accepting.

Training has finally finished when she asks "are you coming to bed or staying up tonight?" At this point you know that once or twice a week you can stay up posting and retire at a reasonable time, say 2 or 3 am, safe in the knowledge that she knows it could be a lot worse! /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

Let me know how you get on!

 

[tome]

Excellent idea - establish a sort of random unpredictability until it becomes accepted behaviour. I can see I came to the right place!

Had a restless night last night (picked up some of Sailbads germs, conveyed from Fowey to Cherbourg on the tide) which could allow a soft-start via separate sleeping arrangements. I disturbed her last night with my coughing to the point she buggered off and slept on the sofa.

I'll try launching the new regime tonight! Trouble is, it coincides with trying out the cough treatment from the forum which in a nutshell is a pint and a half of neat scotch. Look out for some weird postings from me, or perhaps none at all, in the wee hours...

 

[BrendanS]

Yes, the 'soft start' is excellent.

Pint and half of neat scotch is also an excellent idea, but you have to be careful here, in case she starts associating late nights with getting rat arsed, in which case the training will probably fail to take successfully.

Better to get the late night pattern established first - they can't cope with too many changes at once.

 

[tome]

Righto, I can see the sense in this. One thing at a time. I'll confine myself to a half pint of cough medicine in case SWMBO hears me giggling.

I'll probably lurk on MBY as they have PaulineB and stay up later than us SBs. Anyway, want to chat with her about Ulrika and pausing her animated gif (amongst other things).

Mind you, if we all did that would we be men-a-pausing?

 

[Twister_Ken]

Any complaints re ratarsing:

"I don't know what the Chemist put in that cough medecine, my dear"

 

[BrendanS]

Uhhmm? May work whilst obvious symptons of illness, but unlikely to be taken seriously for an extended period. These wimmin can demonstrate unusual signs of intelligence on occassion, particulary during the training phase, where they will be looking for other signs of unusual behaviour.

 

[tome]

Unexpected development..

Big cock up tonight. Thought I'd prepare food to get 'er in a good mood for training kickoff. Bought curries from waitrose and served them up about 9.

We've now both got the galloping jib sheets and heads have been in constant rotation since 11. This isn't working out - she's caught me sending a PM to PaulineB and spotted my half pint of medicine by the keyboard. You lot probably safely tucked up by now -where's the help when you need it?

Must dash...

 

[BrendanS]

Re: Unexpected development..

OK, first take a deep breath. Not the end of the world. Just a wobbly first step.

Good news is that your posting early morning, so this is a good start! The medicine can be explained away as a one off cold remedy (just don't get caught again Put it in an empty coke can or something next time).

Message to PaulineB is more difficult - how good are your acting skills? Try passing Pauline off as a young adolescent male who's juvenile sense of humour is to pretend to be a woman and post provocative pictures. Alternatively, you could go the whole hog, which will provide unlimited night time posting, and claim that you are having an affair with PaulineB.

Don't let this small set back put you off, and carry on with the prescribed training schedule as normal.

 

[Twister_Ken]

Re: Unexpected development..

Your first sentence had me going there, for a moment!

 

[sailbadthesinner]

by the way how are my germs doing

i am finding them to virilent little blighters
i have reverted to upping my in take of guinness to give me strength and have moved onto glenfiddich as a new medicine.
watched tipping the velvet in a fevered state and collapsed about 10;00pm.
unfortunately am not poular at work but am makeing good money shifting snake oil remedies.

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'you're making a scene'.

 

[Iota]

Depends on how old you are and how much you have had to drink. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

Courtesy is an iota but makes the world go round

 

[tome]

Germ Warfare

Sailbad

It's a Corker you sent me (even if your boat didn't quite get there)- SWMBO now has it also. Aching has stopped but coughing like hell and sound like a 90 year old terminal chest case doing death rattle in a reverb chamber. Done in the Glenfiddich and moved down to a 12 year old Speyside from waitrose in anticipation of slow expensive recovery.

It's seriously inerfering with my smoking.

 

[tome]

The Dog Watch

Brendan

Funny how low things can seem in the dog watch. Much better news today:

1 SWMBO now has Sailbads sindrome and is entirely sympathetic about medicines so I think I got away with that

2 PaulineB has to be a 'bloke in drag' according to 'er (sorry Pauline) - keeps asking me if I've heard any more from Paul!!!

3 Will keep the affair as contingency (like it - bold, eh!), though might now not need it.

I'm feeling right chipper now thanks.

Agreed the sleeping apart for now is a good idea so will continue training...watch this space!

 

[tome]

Twisted Ken

Steady on old chap - watch the blood pressure!

 

[sailbadthesinner]

Re: Germ Warfare

I am still coughing like a TB victim
SWMBO insists i give up smoking

my current trouble is i have a persistent ache in my left hand esp in the fingers and knuckles. all my friends cheerliy pipe up that is the onset of athritis but i am a bit worried. would not be so bad if it was the cheque writing hand.

swmbo was not impressed when i tried to take mates advice of 'keeping it somehere warm over night' i think my actions coupled with my drunken slurrings gave rather the wrong impression.

do you think i should take to wearing gloves at night?

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'you're making a scene'.

 

[ccscott49]

Re: Germ Warfare

Should you really be operating a computer, you could give us all a virus......OK, It's afternoon I'll try harder! But I agree with SWMBO, give up smoking! Apart from that, just to be cheerful, it could be the onset of a heart attack! But you should be shaking this cold off by now, the 100 proof rum and jamaica ginger beer, should be helping by now, remember a cold lasts 7 days if you treat it and a week if you dont! The booze is just to make you obliviuos of it's passing! Good luck mate!

 

[sailbadthesinner]

Re: Germ Warfare

cheers

i would go home but why waste someone else's heating.
i am feeling more chipper
i just sound terrible
i am anticipating a a large 'medicine' bill from tome

i did have a brief flirtation with giving up the weed but the pub did for each time. i would break as soon as someone offered me. despite being patched up. must have a more earnest attempt. at very least it will contribute towards the wedding.

ps the swmbo is after a new job
if she gets it we will go away for a long weekend to celebrate, Barcelona would be good. might try and get down to see you
enjoy the weather on the oil patch.

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'you're making a scene'.

 

[BrendanS]

Re: The Dog Watch

Sitting here on dog watch waiting to give advice, comfort and immoral support, and nary a sign of you..I do hope you haven't succumbed to the attraction of sharing a bed with SWMBO this early in the programme?

1 OK, you got away with it this time. Could I suggest that no more than half a pint would be appropriate until SWMBO is comfortable with the training regime

2 Not a bad result, though I'm not sure what PaulineB is going to have to say about it, and could have interesting consequences re: the 'having an affair' option

3 It may have seemed like a good option previously. I have serious doubts about this now that your SWMBO thinks that PaulineB is a drag queen. Wimmin will accept a normal affair with a simple 'get lost, I'm leaving'. Faced with an affair with a cross dressing male, they may consider this a challenge to their wimmin-hood, and take it upon themselves to redeem you. I cannot emphasise enough how dangerous this could be!

Glad to hear you are feeling more chipper, but this is really no time to start becoming complacent!

 

[BrendanS]

Re: Germ Warfare

>>SWMBO insists i give up smoking<<

I can understand her concerns. Conflagration after conjugation is always disconcerting. A lubricant may help reduce friction, which will in turn reduce overheating, and hence smoking. KY is recommended, Swarfega will also work, and PM Depsol to ascertain the efficiency of Soltron in such circumstances.

>>my current trouble is i have a persistent ache in my left hand esp in the fingers and knuckles. all my friends cheerliy pipe up that is the onset of athritis but i am a bit worried. would not be so bad if it was the cheque writing hand.swmbo was not impressed when i tried to take mates advice of 'keeping it somehere warm over night' i think my actions coupled with my drunken slurrings gave rather the wrong impression.<<

Spending the night with your hand stuck into the family dogs nether regions is not going to give SWMBO a good impression at any time, and certainly not when slurring. Employ an au pair (Swedish, blonde, 18), and SWMBO will regain assurance that you are a hot blooded heterosexual.

>>do you think i should take to wearing gloves at night?<<

If this a eupheumism, and the au pair is not using protection, then yes, certainly!

Agony Uncle Brendan.