Never Use Your Wife as a Fender

[Major_Clanger]

A few years have passed since I witnessed this bizarre scene straight from the Andrew Tate School of Yachting, so it seems safe enough share now. There is no salutary lesson to be learned from it. It horrified me but also, I'm ashamed to say, made me weep with laughter borne of incredulity........ It sounds an absurd tale, but I promise that it's absolutely true.

I was running a yard at the time in between my deliveries, and we had a new client who wanted to come into the yard for new standing rigging. Hauling out day duly arrived and I made my way over to the travel hoist to get things ready..... The boat was a Bav and always with just husband and wife crew on board. Whenever I saw them moving about in the marina it seemed to be that horribly stereotypical situation of a poor wife, who'd done nothing wrong, being loudly belaboured by her feckless husband who was making a general mess of things. He also liked doing everything at high speed which just exacerbated the issues....... Anyway, they duly arrived, spun the boat round at break-neck speed and went hard astern.... BANG, into the waiting pontoon. His wife had been waiting to take lines ashore but he shouted at her to stand on the sugar scoop. This she did taking a line with her. She put one leg on the pontoon as the boat drifted forward and the inevitable happened.... PLOP, into the water she went. Her liferaft inflated smartly and she bobbed about next to the pontoon. This clearly gave her husband an idea because he came gently astern and, using her as a fender, pinned her against the pontoon while he took springs and head lines ashore. He only went to offer her assistance, I suspect, because she was still holding the stern line, which he wanted. Only once the springs were made-up did he take the boat out of gear.

There is no point to the tale (excepting how not to treat another person) but thought I'd share anyway.......

 

[justanothersailboat]

That is mind-bogglingly awful.

...I hope that when they split, she got the boat.

 

[johnalison]

A few years have passed since I witnessed this bizarre scene straight from the Andrew Tate School of Yachting, so it seems safe enough share now. There is no salutary lesson to be learned from it. It horrified me but also, I'm ashamed to say, made me weep with laughter borne of incredulity........ It sounds an absurd tale, but I promise that it's absolutely true.

I was running a yard at the time in between my deliveries, and we had a new client who wanted to come into the yard for new standing rigging. Hauling out day duly arrived and I made my way over to the travel hoist to get things ready..... The boat was a Bav and always with just husband and wife crew on board. Whenever I saw them moving about in the marina it seemed to be that horribly stereotypical situation of a poor wife, who'd done nothing wrong, being loudly belaboured by her feckless husband who was making a general mess of things. He also liked doing everything at high speed which just exacerbated the issues....... Anyway, they duly arrived, spun the boat round at break-neck speed and went hard astern.... BANG, into the waiting pontoon. His wife had been waiting to take lines ashore but he shouted at her to stand on the sugar scoop. This she did taking a line with her. She put one leg on the pontoon as the boat drifted forward and the inevitable happened.... PLOP, into the water she went. Her liferaft inflated smartly and she bobbed about next to the pontoon. This clearly gave her husband an idea because he came gently astern and, using her as a fender, pinned her against the pontoon while he took springs and head lines ashore. He only went to offer her assistance, I suspect, because she was still holding the stern line, which he wanted. Only once the springs were made-up did he take the boat out of gear.

There is no point to the tale (excepting how not to treat another person) but thought I'd share anyway.......

Yes, I think we all need role-models.

 

[Major_Clanger]

That is mind-bogglingly awful.

...I hope that when they split, she got the boat.

I suspect she was heartily sick of it!

 

[Frogmogman]

I will share this salutary tale with my wife

(so that she can appreciate that she doesn’t really have such a bad time as all that when she comes sailing with me)

 

[Stemar]

I'm reminded of a little tale I heard of another Mr Tate - or maybe the same one. He's driving, she's sorting lines and fenders, clearly not to his Lordship's satisfaction, to judge by the bellowed orders and imprecations. Predictably, he screws up his approach, so screams at his wife to throw the line to someone waiting on the pontoon, which she does, and goes below. The line wasn't attached to the boat...

 

[Mark-1]

I'm reminded of a little tale I heard of another Mr Tate - or maybe the same one. He's driving, she's sorting lines and fenders, clearly not to his Lordship's satisfaction, to judge by the bellowed orders and imprecations. Predictably, he screws up his approach, so screams at his wife to throw the line to someone waiting on the pontoon, which she does, and goes below. The line wasn't attached to the boat...

It wasn't husband and wife but I heard a second hand tale of an owner below shouting at his crew to turn to Port. The crew was reluctant. The guy below was insistent. In the end the crew gave in and turned to port: Straight into a harbour wall.

In one sense completely unacceptable, in another quite understandable.

 

[RunAgroundHard]

An age ago now, when OYT was OYC and Taikoo was still sailing with them. In Mallaig, wind blowing hard onto the pier, traditional wooden pier pilings. Preparing for departure the skipper would reverse off and the bow would probably blow on to the pier, so a boy with a big fender was placed to fend off.

The maneuver started and the bow did blow in and between the piles. Boy and fender got right up to the bow and proceeded to get trapped between the forestay, pier pile and crushed pulpit. To make matters worse the pile was now getting pulled by the boat as the nut on the stemhead rolled had caught on the pile. Surely the boy must have been crushed?

There was an almighty twang, and the pile rebounded, the boat shot backwards and the boy fell to the deck. He sprung back up and placed the fender over the bow, rather pointlessly as we were now headed into the sound backwards. He was well, just pinned, not crushed. I think he was more in fear of the skipper Colin, a well known grump, than death.

Halcyon days.

 

[SimonX]

 

[Mark-1]

An age ago now, when OYT was OYC and Taikoo was still sailing with them. In Mallaig, wind blowing hard onto the pier, traditional wooden pier pilings. Preparing for departure the skipper would reverse off and the bow would probably blow on to the pier, so a boy with a big fender was placed to fend off.

The maneuver started and the bow did blow in and between the piles. Boy and fender got right up to the bow and proceeded to get trapped between the forestay, pier pile and crushed pulpit. To make matters worse the pile was now getting pulled by the boat as the nut on the stemhead rolled had caught on the pile. Surely the boy must have been crushed?

There was an almighty twang, and the pile rebounded, the boat shot backwards and the boy fell to the deck. He sprung back up and placed the fender over the bow, rather pointlessly as we were now headed into the sound backwards. He was well, just pinned, not crushed. I think he was more in fear of the skipper Colin, a well known grump, than death.

Halcyon days.

Nowhere near as dramatic but...

I remember as a perhaps 7 or 8yo our boat approaching a jetty quite hard.

I cunningly placed my foot between the boat and the jetty to protect the gel coat. The boat smacked the jetty and my foot took the full load. It didn't hurt. Nothing broken. Luckily my dad didn't see.

It was only afterwards I thought that probably wasn't the wisest course of action.

I guess young bones are made of rubber.

 

[johnalison]

Nowhere near as dramatic but...

I remember as a perhaps 7 or 8yo our boat approaching a jetty quite hard.

I cunningly placed my foot between the boat and the jetty to protect the gel coat. The boat smacked the jetty and my foot took the full load. It didn't hurt. Nothing broken. Luckily my dad didn't see.

It was only afterwards I thought that probably wasn't the wisest course of action.

I guess young bones are made of rubber.

It is often stated that you shouldn't use a foot for fending off, lest it get crushed, but I generally found that if I sat on the coachroof and put my heel on the next boat's toerail, or even something similar when standing, I could control how much force to apply and keep my foot well clear of trouble. In any case, much more effective than trying to push the boat away via the cap shroud.

 

[jlavery]

Not fender-use, but marriage relationship related.

When I was running a flotilla in Greece in the 80s, I was rowing round the clients' boats to check up on them after their arrival at an anchorage.

Arrived at a boat where I knew there was husband, wife and 5 year old child.

Only child in the cockpit.

"Hi Tommy - just checking up on you. All OK?"

"Well... when we were anchoring, daddy was driving and shouted at mummy on the front. Mummy told him not to shout, he called her a c**t, and they're down below not talking to each other."

I rowed away quietly...

 

[Mark-1]

It is often stated that you shouldn't use a foot for fending off, lest it get crushed, but I generally found that if I sat on the coachroof and put my heel on the next boat's toerail, or even something similar when standing, I could control how much force to apply and keep my foot well clear of trouble. In any case, much more effective than trying to push the boat away via the cap shroud.

100% agree and I do it all the time. But this wasn't that. I impulsively shoved my foot into a closing gap with the deliberate intention of protecting the gelcoat. I got away with it, though!

 

[Norman_E]

When I had my boat in Turkey I got to know the couple who ran a small flotilla for a charter company. I was safely moored in Bozburun harbour one windy day when they came in followed by their flotilla. Several of their boats came in together and I went to assist in taking lines. I took the stern lines of one boat and secured it whilst the skipper pulled the anchor chain in. To my horror his wife put her leg over the guard rail to try and push the boat away from the next boat. Fortunately I was able to jump on board and use the boat hook to push the boats apart before she got hurt. The skipper did not seem to think she had done anything wrong, but the flotilla leader had seen the incident from where he was docking another boat and had a different opinion.

When Mediterranean moored I always considered that one of the most useful things to have was a big round fender on a length of line. If a boat coming alongside started to yaw either bow to bow or stern to stern once stopped the fender could prevent any damage until things were secured.

 

[SeaPhoenix]

100% agree and I do it all the time. But this wasn't that. I impulsively shoved my foot into a closing gap with the deliberate intention of protecting the gelcoat. I got away with it, though!

I did the same to prevent a collision between my 4 ton boat and a lighter one. Luckily I got away with a sore foot for a few days, probably due to my wearing stout shoes thankfully.

 

[Daedelus]

A friend of mine sailing with his partner was coming in to a tricky berthing to starboard, she had the bow line and he had the stern line. They got close and he reckoned it was time for lines and she got ready to hop ashore, he busied himself with stern line and throttle and when he looked up she had disappeared. He was staring round in puzzlement wondering where she could have got to when she surfaced on the port side of the boat. She had fallen in and gone down some distance and as she surfaced found herself on the other side. Fortunately when dried off and given a drink she thought it very funny especially as her other half couldn't make out where she had got to.

 

[Norman_E]

The funniest incident with my wife happened in Marti Marina. We had friends who had a big Irwin centre cockpit yacht, and they had arranged a berth alongside them so that we could come in for a night with them. When I arrived I saw that it was impractical to moor alongside them because they were on a quay several feet higher than our stern. I backed the boat to a normal pontoon berth with my wife on the sugar scoop ready to throw the stern lines to one of the marina staff. As we approached she threw the lines and herself in with them!
I put the boat forward to avoid hitting her, and the marina man pulled her out, with great difficulty as she could not stop laughing.

 

[Biggles Wader]

It is often stated that you shouldn't use a foot for fending off, lest it get crushed, but I generally found that if I sat on the coachroof and put my heel on the next boat's toerail, or even something similar when standing, I could control how much force to apply and keep my foot well clear of trouble. In any case, much more effective than trying to push the boat away via the cap shroud.

Having seen a nasty accident involving someone doing just that I respectfully disagree. I'm firmly of the opinion that hands, feet and other body parts remain inboard of the gunnels and fenders, boathooks and other tools go outboard.

 

[flaming]

Having seen a nasty accident involving someone doing just that I respectfully disagree. I'm firmly of the opinion that hands, feet and other body parts remain inboard of the gunnels and fenders, boathooks and other tools go outboard.

"Do not risk your body to save me money on fibreglass repairs."

 

[Sianna]

Sadly, feckless male behaviour is not uncommon, We were in Newtown creek last weekend only to see a small tender 2.3m with a couple onboard, both in their 60's, the male shouting at his wife to "shut up". So many boats must have observed this and there is no excuse for this kind of behaviour.