Negotiating with SWMBO to go sailing

Re: JUST TELL SWMBO WHEN YOU ARE GOING SAILING

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I have spent years being around for wife and kids, and indeed enjoyed going to school/sporty events etc. but now my time has come. At mid 50 I should have at least 10 years hard boating ahead with slightly less for the next 20 odd years with any luck. SWMBO would have me watching TV together and working in the garden WHICH I DETEST and wasteing my weekends.

I have now decided I am going to do what I want and that my standards of what is reasonable are balanced.

[/ QUOTE ] These, and other brave words in this thread, have the ring of false bravado to them.

Having asserted my authority (well actually agreeing to match spending on the boat with investment in an SWMBO account) to acquire and refit the boat, I find I am left with precious little control of the time needed to lavish attention on her. SWMBO regards her as "the other woman". A night spent on board is, in effect, adultery.

She will say, when the injustice of it all makes me a little grumpy, "Why don't you go for a sail?" in a context suggesting that leaving home at 1430 and returning at 1830 for an hour sailing in the Menai Strait should be a more than adequate to cheer a sad retired bloke. [ QUOTE ]
Women are mainly (and I excluded some of the remarkable boating types on this forum) wimpish and lack any sense of adventure.

[/ QUOTE ] With due regard to the fallacy in any sweeping generalisation, this statement really resonates in me. What I want is to be exploring the Patagonian canals. What she wants is someone to listen to her sounding off about the tennis club committee.

The prison is quiet, the night is dark, the tunnel is dug - freedom is within my grasp. So why don't I escape?

Because I can't afford a boat and a divorce. They have us by the balls, and they know it.
 
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Lose this label

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I sincerely wish this forum would!. It is a stupid and pointless acronym - unless you are henpecked. Also 'wife' is only 4 letters. Anyway, as I recall, the marriage vows only require the wife to obey - as I keep reminding her - with perfect success. Tongue firmly in cheek with kevlar helmet buckled tightly.
 
Re: JUST TELL SWMBO WHEN YOU ARE GOING SAILING

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the marriage vows only require the wife to obey [ QUOTE ]


Hhhhhmmmmph!! I never agreed to obey DH. He wouldn't have dared suggest it.
 
Sorry to lower the tone...

















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stay at home and polish the silver

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is this a euphemism ? /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
 
no negotiating needed, if i go to the boat everyone goes to the boat, i would get lynched if i went sailing on my own, (unless it has been agreed in advance).
I go to the boat in the winter on my own when its in the yard, as its to cold for the missus, but my son is eager to go and slap the antifoul on and check the anodes etc, i even had to teach him how it service the outboard this year..

I seem to be fortunate enough to have the family to sail with me, all the cooking and crew is taken care of.
All i have to do is guide them to a safe haven each night..
 
Tee Hee........ just got back from a week in South of France playing with boat....sans SWMBO, how do I do it?

Secret .. from nearly 40 years of marriage bliss (well almost bliss)

Just do it!!! The kids are well old enough to look after themselves at 16+ & SWMBO is also well old enough to look after herself!

Independence is a great basis for a long happy partnership. /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

poter
 
Tee Hee - have a pass from SWMBO for the Petit Bateau 2007 race /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

As long as I get her an intensive direct access motorcycle course and her own Triumph.

Have yet to get the extra 2 weeks unpaid leave from work /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

We'll see what happens
 
Re: JUST TELL SWMBO WHEN YOU ARE GOING SAILING

Execimp, maybe your wife is just not very keen on bashing around the North Sea in Noname in the same way that you are...... how about changing tack and taking her on a sailing holiday (perhaps even a flotilla?) somewhere warm and sunny - or have you been there, done that already?
 
Boy, am I spoilt. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Have just got back from2 weeks on Chesapeake Bay (sans 'Er indoors) and tonight - our wedding anniversary, she was telling me that as the youngest is about to go off to Uni, I could expect to get up to 4 months sailing a year with the proviso that she would join me for about 4 weeks of it.

Only restriction is can't go during Uni holidays ( at which time the sailing is at its worst on the Bay, so wouldn't want to go anyway) unless the the youngest wants to go out to the boat - which she does /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif.

She also suggested buying a smaller house that would need me to spend less time maintaining it!!!

To quote her - this is a time to make the most of our investment(boat). /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
midrivpsge.jpg

/forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Best wedding anniversary present I ever had - It must have been the shock of me remembering to get her a card!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

All those years of telling her 'boats only deteriorate and cost more to fix if they're not used' must have paid off. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Yep! Get yourself a wife who went to school every day on the Falmouth - St Mawes Ferry /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Twas a good idea to get a box at the opera with two other keen sailing wives and their spouses for our anniversary do. Cheers /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
(An she was sober cos twas 'er turn to drive)
 
Your User Name is Inappropriate

Do you think "Freestyle" sums up the tone of your post?

How about a new name competition for Freestyle?
 
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It must have been the shock of me remembering to get her a card!!!!


[/ QUOTE ] Don't spoil 'em too much - it gives them ideas!

I've always said that I'd like to do the ARC one day (as crew, not skipper - I know my limitations) and from time to time, Mrs jhr reminds me that the years are passing and I still haven't done it. Not sure whether this is because she wants me to fulfill a long-held wish or because she wants me out of the house for a month. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 
Re: Your User Name is Inappropriate

You're right. And I've never liked "Freestyle".

I can't say I liked her original name, "Fondue" any better, so I'll follow your suggestion and start a new thread: Rename Freestyle competition
 
We make up a sailing timetable at the start of the season.

I use an Excel spreadsheet to work out the access times to our drying berth having entered the appropriate high tides, then we work out the best weekends for us to have on the boat as a couple, having excluded any pre-agreed events such as weddings / significant family birthdays etc. This approximates to 1 in 3 weekends on the boat together. Hubby is then free to select another series of weekends to go sailing with his mates (again about 1 in 3) when I am free to see my friends, and the remainder we spend together off the water (usually at the aforementioned events!)

At 16 I would think your younger daughter is perfectly capable of getting herself about - what happened to buses/trains/bicycles for heaven's sake, never mind a taxi ! Especially if she's staying over at a friends house and isn't going to be 'home alone'.

I think you're perfectly within your rights to go sailing - I think your wife is the one who is being selfish. When exactly does she expect a teenager to grow up and start being independent if it's not by 16????
 
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I've always said that I'd like to do the ARC one day (as crew, not skipper - I know my limitations) and from time to time, Mrs jhr reminds me that the years are passing and I still haven't done it. Not sure whether this is because she wants me to fulfill a long-held wish or because she wants me out of the house for a month. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

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Don't worry about the why - just do it! Mrs B had no problem with my doing this - still not sure of her motives, but ARC was great! (As crew in one of Chay Blyth's Challenge Business boats of happy memory.)
 
I will heartily endorse Blackbeard's suggestion to JHR to A Donf!
I sailed in the first ARC 20 years ago, and it was good fun, with excellent parties at each end.
I am sure that Mrs JHR would love to have a good excuse to fly out to St Lucia for Christmas, and to welcome her hubby with a bottle of bubbly stuff after they cross the finish line.....
 
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