Neat Ideas... (No. 5)

tonybarebones

tonybarebones

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Neat Ideas? Whats this for... /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

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A chap I knew fitted a pub urinal in the cockpit of his fishing boat after one of the guys fell overboard .Probably look out of place on a yacht though especially if you installed the durex machine as well /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Re neat ideas I have had the boat surveyed by the neat ideas surveyor and he has officially declared Banjo is completely devoid of any. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
 
have a motorcycling friend who got heartily fed up in his later years at frequently having to remove his bike gear (a 10 minute job) go to the loo and then spend 10 mins putting it all back on. So he removed the thumb from a pair of his wife's Mariglods, chopped the tip off and connected it to a metre of 10mm plastic pipe. Slipped the thumb bit over his todger and the pipe down the inside of his armoured bike trousers and over the outside of his boots. Worked fine whilst on the move and I dont know that he was ever followed by someone in an open car. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif The creation was known to us all as "Proctors Patent Python Syphon"

Must have taken some effort at first - I can still remember the difficulty of persuading myself to wee whilst flat on my back and using the usual hospital bottle. Didnt come natural at all.

Dont we cover some interesting subjects on the forum! /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 
I met an ex-diver in the far North of Scotland some years back, and he had a shed, or garage full of junk that he'd found, uncluding the skulls of various whales and pieces of a vitrified fort. He gave me a brass funnel type thing which he said was a 'pig's ear' from the wreck of a U boat.

When they were on the surface, and on watch, apparently they used this thing, which was fixed to the ship, for the same purpose. He said he'd taken it to the pub when he found it, and it had been passed around, with everyone blowing down it, thinking it was a musical instrument.

He was the kind of guy you could talk to for hours. He eplained to me exactly how you can demolish a croft, using just one crowbar on the cornerstone, used during the highland clearances, apparently. I've always tried to remember how you do it, as you never know when it might come in handy.
 
Totally unrelated but it reminded me of the time a biker ran out of petrol miles from anywhere in the middle of winter. Luckily a bloke stops to help with a spare can of petrol. Unfortunately the petrol cap lock has frozen up. No problem the good samaritan whips out his toger, applies a blast of natural deicer and all is sorted.

A few days later he gets a call from the father of the biker and he his thanked for stopping and providing the fuel. the father concludes the conversation by saying ' if you hadn't come along at the time my daughter could have been stuck there all night' !!!
 
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Came back to the car after ice climbing in Glencoe, -15C, lock frozen. The "natural de-icer" made it much worse, so another mile to walk to Willy's(sic!) Farm for a thermos of hot water.
 
Met a hang glider pitlo some time ago who managed to ovecome the problem of not getting to the heads, bit difficult from 5000 ft, so they use something similar to a condom with a pipe attached, apparently used instead of catheterisation. Just be careful not to knock the pipe off, or stand on the bottle! He did and had a nice warm glow for a few minutes...
 
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