My Funeral

claymore

claymore

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I'm not thinking off popping off just yet but inevitably this will one day take place.

I've been to too many funerals this year and its got me to thinking that I should like to have some say over what happens at mine.

First Hymn I'd like would be Hills of the North Rejoice

Then after the first reading which I think I'd like to be the Wreck of the Hesperus read by Wee Jamesie with the Sadler on standby for when he becomes overcome with the emotion and the drink, I'd like a slow air played on the Bagpipes by TCM

This followed briskly by TwisterKen reading the beautiful piece I am standing on the sea shore

Final Hymn would have to be something rousing to get everyone in good form for a drink - I'm arranging for Para to invest £10 with ING Direct which will hopefully provide a tidy sum
Perhaps Jerusalem.
 
I've invested in a "Wakes R us" selection of malts and rums hamper, from Farepack, which ought to cover almost every eventuality.

I'd also like TCM to play a lament on the pipes, in the unlikely event that he should outlive me.
 
Then we can place you on Claymore, set it alight and push you into the middle of Fleetwood Dock.

Which reminds me - can I have that new Eberspacher you fitted last year?
 
We had the piece about standing on the shore at my mother's funeral last year. She had chosen it and the reader in advance.

Trouble was i supplied the reader with the words which Brendan kindly posted on here but the funeral director printed A slightly different version in the programme. Ended up with a big fuss at the tea party which kind of took the edge of it.
 
[ QUOTE ]
I'd hate to miss your disposal because it clashed with a neighbourhood watch meeting.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd have thought in your neck of the woods that you could afford more than one wristwatch between you!
 
Re: Tunes

[ QUOTE ]
ahem, i am not sure i will be ready with the pipes by the time of your demise. Would it be acceptable to play a jig? At a melancholic speed of course.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm sure you will be, have you tried the Piping Centre where they've got some good books and lots of advice?
 
Dunno about mine but the Royal Navy lent us a Sea King and we chucked my old dad out of the sonobuoy launch tube. Ashes well dispersed by the downdraught. Scottish padre leading the prayers, standstill at Prestwick International Airport during the service.

Ain't our sailors wonderful!!
 
Re: Tunes

Just think that you have innate musical talent and it would be a shame for you, and a loss to the world of piping music, were you to give up so easily. MAybe you should ask somebody that knows something about these things
 
Re: Tunes

Well, that's very nice of you to say so. However, para seems incredibly keen at piping and I am already spending loads of time at practising fiddling jigs and reels which (with a mute) don't disturb the rest of the family as much as the pipes. Actually, even the so-called "practise chanter" make quite racket. Also,you can't play jigs and reels or anyhting that needs more than 9notes on the pipes so it is a load of work for not a huge result in terms of being able to play much music.
 
Re: Tunes

erm, i have no idea. Pretty sure they aren't mega expnsive ones but Pakistani ones could be wonderfully eastern sounding with extra screeching? The bloke on the end of the phone sounded quite Scottish, but now you come to mention it the guidebook seems to have been written by someone whose first language isn't English.
 
Hi Folks,

I fancy a burning sailboard, viking style , to the accompaniment of Motorheads ' Killed By Death'

ROB

P.S. are there any other yachties out there who like heavy metal? /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
 
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