Moral dilemma

[Twister_Ken]

At the risk of sounding a bit Jimi-like...

...I was shocked, nay horrified, if not utterly gob-smacked when leaving Portsmouth harbour yesterday morning. Being a good careful sailor (as many of my various ship-wrecked crew can testify), I was appropriately in the small boat channel on the west side of the entrance, only a boat's length from the two red pillars off of HMS Dolphin. Suddenly, as if from nowhere (and almost certainly crewed by assorted fowl-mouthed harridae (that's right it was a hen party)), a J**nn*** 37 appears, pedal to the metal and a bow wave like Niagara, coming into the harbour and insisting on passing starboard sides to. It had strange heiroglyphics on the hull which resembled the word Sunsail, but it surely cannot have been a Sunsail yacht becasue we all know how scrupulously they are sailed. Dont' we.

Was I right to ram and sink it on the Bushian theory that it may, one day, possibly, have been passed on to dastardly terrorist types and have posed a threat to US manhood, or should I have passed meekly by thinking charitable thoughts like "What a bunch of triple-nippled pillocks"?

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[Ohdrat]

mmmm toughie that.. and you are beginning to sound like an inebriated Jimi.. be warned..

Have to say that it wasn't Harridae it was infact the Bin Laden and Saddam Hussain boat.. funnily enuf Alistair Campbell was also believed to be on the boat (anonymous MI5 source) reportedly trying to persuade Saddam to come on side with the launchable in 45 mins wmd.

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[jimi]

Harridae handling

[outrage tag]Jimi sounding .. huff puff ..[/outrage tag] Anyway I promised not to mention the bilge pump ..

I have now a harridae coping strategy . I keep a copy of Hello handy and when a harridan approaches I just chuck it into their cockpit .. if there is a single harridan she falls upon it and is immediately silent .. more than one and they fight amongst themselves for possession. My life is now a lot simpler. Only problem now is that I've got to get a perm every week in order to obtain more copies of Hello. Suggestions for alternative sources welcomed as I'm now beginning to suffer from split ends.

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[ecudc]

Re: Harridae handling

suggest twin set and pearls is better for buying "Hello" It doesn't matter if you look like a man, many of the women reading it do anyway (Ohhhhhhhh catty I know).....

Cosmopolitan more effective for the people you're after. If this is the case then set yourself up with a nice long blond wig, oakley sunglasses and a pair of Jimmy Choos (or however you spell them) for 400 quid.

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[bedouin]

Indeed Ken, you sound JUST like Jimi - are you sure you are not he in disguise?

As with Jimi's frequent posts, you too are clearly in the wrong here.

Firstly, given my knowledge of [ah em!] - I feel certain that said boat had its sails up, and was not displaying a motoring cone - so was stand on vessel.

Secondly - again given my extensive experience of [ah em!] - I think all such vessels should be regarded as "Not Under Command" due to the (mental) incapacity of the skipper and crew.

Thirdly - since the boat appeared "from nowhere" you clearly weren't complying with the requirement of Rule 5 to maintain a good lookout

Finally - actually I don't think that Colregs requires boats to pass port side to.

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[bedouin]

Oh dear - Kim is wielding the red pen again. The censored word ought to be Scumsail

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[Chris_Robb]

Re:Harbour Rules

So - you do not know ze rules then - all boats must be under engine entering the harbour - so it could not be the stand on boat!

I thought it was normal practise in the entrance to Portsmouth harbour small boat channel to pass Starbord to starboard or any side that you felt like. Tried to enter during the festival of the sea correctly and was the only one doing it correctly! complete mayhem!

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[ghostwriter]

\'tiz for a good cause Bedders !

in a couple of years time you will be doing the same with your son , so indulge the good fathers at IPC when they gently correct you into cifilised behaviour , in fact , come to think of it , you owe them one for showing you the way , the path to a better , wholesome and genteelman-like life /forums/images/icons/wink.gif /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

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[bedouin]

Re:Harbour Rules

Oh yes - I do know the rules - and I'm sure Ken, as a careful sailor, was proceeding under engine, with motoring cone displayed in the fore part of the ship (if his sails were up as well).

I am equally certain that the Scumsail kipper was not displaying a motoring cone, so technically Ken had to treat the other boat as Stand On Vessel.

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[jimi]

Re:Harbour Rules

Only if the vessel is fitted with an engine .. it could be a fair assumption that x@#@ had forgotten to instal a working engine in their haste to charter.

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[Twister_Ken]

On jiminess

>Indeed Ken, you sound JUST like Jimi - are you sure you are not he in disguise?<

I have neither the kilt, nor the swagger. Given my knees, a good thing, probably.

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[BavKen]

Twister_ken is no more. He has scrapped the Twister and got a Bavaria 36 having been seduced by the toilet facilities. I did insist on a makeover with real teak decks and a proper keel. AMG of Brattenworst did the work and chucked in matching veneer cabinets. The 3 metre lead keel makes der yacht sail like a dream.

I am looking for a new name .. I had thought of Damn Ass Cuss, what do you think?

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[Ohdrat]

Re: are you sure you are not he in disguise?

Has anyone seen Jimi and Ken together? Is this a case of a yachty Jakyll and Hyde? ...

if is which is Hyde and which is Jakyll?

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[milltech]

Ken I think you sexed up your report N.M.

.

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[bedouin]

Re: are you sure you are not he in disguise?

Surely - since this is a boating forum, that should be "Jeckells and Hyde"

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[Twister_Ken]

Re: Ken I think you sexed up your report N.M.

Only enough to get UN support and parliamentary backing.

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[Ohdrat]

Re: Agreed.. NM

.

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[Chris_Robb]

Re:Harbour Rules

Sorry - didn't mean to cast doubt on your knowledge of the rules! I meant to bring out that my experience of the entrance was that no-one followed the rules and that it seemed total an utter free for all!

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[themount2]

Re:Harbour Rules

It is and it gets really exciting when the tides running, the big ferries are around, skippers are directing mooring lines and fenders whilst trying to make the gap and the pub before you do, and you're the only one who really gives a damn. Ballast Buoy is more like a bloody round-a-about than a channel marker!!
I was told yesterday you only have to have your engine RUNNING, rather than in gear. Are we agreed?

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[Ohdrat]

Re: Ken I think you sexed up your report N.M.

Why do you need parliamentary backing and UN support? Would have thought that as long as you have Washington on side you could go it alone

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