Monday joke from America

[Das_Boot]

A hillbilly woman appears in court before the judge for cutting off her husbands penis.
The Judge says 'Mrs Jones can you tell the court in your own words what happened on the night of the alleged offence'.
She says well your honour Mr Jones came home drunk and wanted to have pleasure but I was busy cooking. I had one child in my arms a frying pan in my other hand and the puppy dog was pulling on my leg so I told him 'mister if you don't stop trying to take pleasure I am going to cut it off'
But he carried on trying even with the frying pan and the puppy dog and the child so I told him again mister if you don't stop I will cut it off.
But the kept trying your honour so I took the knife and I cut it off.
The Judge says to her Mrs Jones is it not your place in home to keep the peace.
She replies yes your honour I wanted to keep the piece but the puppy dog he ate it.

 

[ubuysa]

A couple of years ago I had a female student on a class in America who swore the following story was true:

She has a small daughter who has a peanut allergy, so from the time of her parents discovering this they have constantly told her "you're allergic to peanuts", in the hope that this might just save her life if she's eating at a friends house for example. When they had a baby son the student was bathing the baby boy in the same tub in which the small daughter was washing. The daughter pointed to the small dangly thing between her brothers legs and asked what it was. "That's his penis" mom stated, "I'm 'lergic to those!" the daughter innocently exclaimed. "Darned right, and don't you forget it" said her laughing father.......

Tony C.