Marketing for girlies NB

[david_e]

MARKETING
>
> The buzzword in today's business world is MARKETING.
> However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing."
> Well, here it is:
> You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party.
> You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed,"
> That's Direct Marketing.
> You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy.
> One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's > fantastic in bed,"
> That's Advertising.
> You see a handsome guy at a party.
> You go up to him and get his
> telephone number.
> The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed,"
> That's Telemarketing.
> You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress.
> You walk up to him and pour him a drink.
> You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his
> tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By > the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
> That's Public Relations.
> You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
> He walks up to you and says,
> I hear you're fantastic in bed,"
> That's Brand Recognition.
> You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
> He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.
> That's a Sales Rep.
> Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
> That's Tech Support.
> You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
> handsome men in all these houses you're passing.
> So you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"

> That's Junk Mail.
>



<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[Seafort]

More Marketing

an old one resurected:


Top 10 Most Brilliant Marketing Screw Ups

1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."

2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."

3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick."

4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the U.S., with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.

5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.

6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).

7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.

8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."

9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth."

10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."

/forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

Dave.

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[Becky]

Shucks, you have rumbled me. Been using this technique for years- so what's new? Really this is classified for you guys. Remember, it may be old, but you all still fall for it.

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[jimd]

Re: More Marketing

When one of the washing powders used a poster campaign in the arab countries sales fell drastically. Trouble was they used before and after pics, without realising the Arabs read right to left.

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[lezgar]

Mitsubishi Pajero had to change the name for de Spanish market because pajero meaning masturbate in Spanish

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[Brian_B]

The Lone Ranger's sidekick Tonto is Spanish for Idiot!

Hi ho etc....

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[wooslehunter]

Great stuff - just copied to to our EU marketing director so see if they can top them.

<hr width=100% size=1>

 

[Badger]

More Marketing Speak

New - Last years model in a different colour
All New - As above but with new box
A radically different concept in space age living- New
Adverse consumer reaction - The boss's wife didn't like it
Exhaustive Testing - The Sales Manager took it home to his kids
Destructive Testing - The Sales Manager's kids broke it.
Strategy - Low cunning

<hr width=100% size=1>