Legs of different length on different tacks

[jimi]

Yesterday at the docs when getting my knee looked at(torn cartiledge apparently) it was discovered that my starboard leg is shorter than my port one. This of course is excellent on starboard tack but a bit more unstable on part tack. Is it worth getting the deck canted to starboard a bit to make me feel normal?

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[ShipsWoofy]

Think you will find most male vessels are biased towards the port leg anyway, so a kind of natural counter balance in effect.

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[sailorman]

Guess this MUST mean u keep your wallet in yer stbd aft pocket

<hr width=100% size=1>Mines a Crocodile sandwich & make it Snappy

 

[Gunfleet]

No. Stick my wee purse in your shoe. That'll do it. By the way did you know you're cross eyed and your shoulders droop? That will be £1500 sir. It's lovely, this medicine malarky.

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[Sgeir]

Sorry about the knee. But always look on the bright side - I think the haggis hunting season is about to start.

Donald's knees are Sponsored by Glucosamine Sulphate.

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[tcm]

No deck works required, i think.

Lots of sailors have this problem, and simply face backwards on one tack, forwards on the other. However, really adventurous sailors (e.g. L.J.Silver) find that removal of the entire faulty leg is a better solution, and saves weight too.

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[jimi]

Aye .. but how do you know which one's the faulty one.. is it the long one or the short one. Suppose its got to be the long one as its liable to be heavier .. erm but the short one might be a bit more muscley .. howcan you weigh them before you decide which one to feed to the dogs?

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[Goodge]

As part of tonight's entertainment , we could pop in to Boots in Waterloo and buy a set of scales.

We then have to support you, probably holding you under your arms, while you place your legs one at a time on the scales.

If Cutter was around we could probably get you anaethatised and get the heavy leg removed later on in the evening.

You may want to re consider selling the Golf automatic as you'll only have one leg from now on though .


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[jimi]

Actually the level of error utilising this method would be such to render it scientifically invalid. I would propose that based on the premise that the average density of each leg is similar I'd get a tallish container of warmish water and submerge each leg to the premarked mark and measure the amount of water displaced. ..

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[Goodge]

Eureka !



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[dralex]

Are you actually related to the haggis species? I'm sure I read a book once about haggiss ( haggi?) which could be found up SCottish mountains. They had one leg longer than the other so they would always stay level when running round the mountain. I suppose the Darwin Awards took care of the ones who ran the wrong way!

Interestingly, talking of wind and tacks, did you know you have an apparrent leg length and a true leg length depending on where you measure from. Only tell you this in case you start cutting and find you can't get yourself level.

<hr width=100% size=1>Just enjoy it.

 

[jfm]

That shorter item.... you sure it was your leg?

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[Evadne]

This is covered in the "myths and legends" section of the haggis hunt featured in an earlier thread.
Haggii are also described as small and cuddly animals, so Jimi is obviously unrelated (going on the photographic evidence).

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[tcm]

Re: ah but

the method described will only establish which has greater volume, not their displcement, unless of course you chopped off both legs and floated them, and thne re-attached the most suitable.

Hey - there's an idea - no legs at all. jimi is already not too tall, so losing a few more inches of height won't make that muich difference. Lots of advantages here : you could jam yerself in a fender basket on deck, put in a mezzanine floor in the saloon, never worry about shoelaces ever again.

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[dralex]

Sorry- note to self- read previous posts before responding to next.

Doh

<hr width=100% size=1>Just enjoy it.

 

[Goodge]

Jimi with no legs

I hear the smart money is going back on Tome in the mast climbing challenge.

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[tcm]

mast climbing with no legs

ooh no, this wd be easy, if you were in small parts, surely? He cd haul each leg and then rest up the mast just using one of the halyards. I don't think there was any rule saying that you needed legs.

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[Goodge]

Re: mast climbing with no legs

Obviously if the challenge was up to the top of mast and back down he would have a distinct advantage coz when he was at the top he could just lower his legs down and touch the deck with his feet without his torso actually leaving the top.

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[StugeronSteve]

Amputation and subsequent disposal of the unfortunate limb would be wasteful in the extreme. Maybe both limbs could be temporarily removed, modified to include a quick release hip joint (bayonet fitting or similar), and replaced. This way young James can function as a "normal" biped, whilst enjoying the ability to tack and gybe legs so as to maintain an upright posture on passage.

<hr width=100% size=1>Think I'll draw some little rabbits on my head, from a distance they might be mistaken for hairs.

 

[tcm]

Re: three legged option

hm. This is not really taking advantage of modern technolgy tho, is it?

What jimi really needs is an additional leg to make himself into a triped. I expect loads of spare leg are lying around marinas, with many skippers having decided that it's too much trouble chopping a biot off each leg every time they tack, so he could use one of them. Of course, there is slight weight penalty, but for general pupose and cruising, three legs will be very good.

First, it wd be just like B&Q for whizzing along, and possibly mite save bus and taxi fares too! He simply needs to make sure that he attaches the extra "shortish" leg on the other side, for balance, of course.

The safety aspects are excllent cos you could even trip up and still have two feet firmly on deck. I bet it would also be good for taking penalties, perhaps, avoiding dogmuck on the pavement without having to hop or jump, tripping up air stewardesses whilst looking innocent, and perhaps claiming income tax advantages with the obvious Manx connection too?