Kwackers...any truth in the rumour

Kilter said:
that you are competing in http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-19433471 ? :D
Click to expand...



:eek::eek::eek:
Hey listen up though
Just been round lots of it today
We had a last minute call from a Film Company yesterday
Cut a long un short
We sorted out their problem JUST:rolleyes:
So I nips out of Dinorwic on damp sand at 07.00 ish this morning
Heading off to Traeth Bychan to collect peeps
The Strait was as flat as a pancake
Approaching Brittania bridge there was an amazing 'film' of mist about half a metre, well I dunno metres so it was 1ft 9 an an alf inches at a guess.
Well I was doing 20 kts and wasn't really awake yet!
So I gets me G3 telling phone out
Then thought (quite quick like considerin the hour)'might as well keep the camera rollin!
Cos there were some sticky out bits showing although it was 'neap ish/springs ish sort of ish' as they say in all good Almanacs innit,it was worth filming imho
Gotta get an offspring to shove it ere
Anyway
Gets to the first bit of the Gig
No show from the 'Luvvies'!
No answer on the Producers blower
No problem, pick a mooring and pour me flask an spark up
No -- it was coffee, so there
Oh, just after Puffin sound pod of Dolphins joined in, so good to see, feck the I Phone thought I
I thought I better get to the Gig
I thought later I think these Film Luvvies don't think like the rest of us
And it came to pass they don't!

'Can you pick the peeps up off the Beach' the Producer said, after getting back to me an hour after I belled Her
'Why' I said
'Have they fallen over'?
4 second pause whilst She thought about that one
'Err - no but we need to load (yer know filming paraphernalia) kit an peeps'
'Yeh well, great' says I
'There aint no water darling cos the tide is out like, and its a Lee Shore'
She replied
'Lee hasn't turned up She said:rolleyes:
'Are You sure' says I
'Ang on I'll check' She said
Feck Me, I was pi$$in me sen by now
'Listen Luv, I can't pick em up, cos there aint no water'
'Well there was Yesterday we checked'
'Well some terwat has nicked it then' I replied
'Does that happen often around here' She said!
'Yep about twice a day' I replied
'Disgusting, can't the Police do something about it'? was Her irate reply
'Well' says I
'A King tried to control it once but failed'
'Who was that'? She said
'Can't remember ferzackely but He was quite a Canute Majesty they say'
So it went on
To the next Bay
'Moelfre'
'We need to get more Film Crew aboard'
'Oh yeh the water aint there either'
'Wot, they steal all of it around here'
'Yeh - then we flog it to the Arabs' I says
'Can we Film that'? She says
Thirsty/ Thursday (der gerrit) :D for more fun
I led Her on a bit more
Do any on here want to know what happened next?
Cos there were more 'Complications':rolleyes:
 
Philiz said:
Don't tell me Molfre is going to be full of luvvies all weekend, that's where we're going!
Click to expand...
Can't tell at the Mo
Spoil the Tale/Outcome
Just finishin me fish fingers an chips
'Jamie Oliver's' fish fingers by the way
Pushin the boat out I know
Oops, more about 'Pushin Boats out' in a bit innit!;)
 
I've been staying up late for the next instalment:( sod it I'm going to bed:rolleyes:I'll get the rest in the morning.
 
bigwow said:
You mean it was only a dream?:eek:
Click to expand...

Nope
It happened!
I,ve been trying to load a vid and some piccies onto me pute from me phone
To shove on here
Especially the early morning bit through the Swellies
On me pute now
But what to do next confuses I!
Off to move a boat now
Rest of The Film Crew tale later today
But don't wait up:D
 
Kawasaki said:
Off to move a boat now
Click to expand...
OK, boat moved
Fed an Watered
No
Me an swmbo not the boat!
So it came to Pass

We had 10 peeps to sort out
5 divers, 3 film crew 1 Director an I. well, I dunno a Partridge in a Pear Tree for all She was worth!
But
There was still the prob of how to get the 'Dry Crew' aboard
The Diver Guys were proper Pros no sweat, sorted themselves out
So then there were 4 plus the Game Bird to sort out
'So we need a Dinghy you say to take us out to You' the Producer bird said
'Yep' says I
'But we haven't got one' She replies
'Nope' says I
'Do You know a Man that has ' She replies
'Yep' says I
'Who is He, is He reliable' She questions
'Well- more than you lot' I answered
Friggen couldn't resist:D
'How much more' She said
'Won't be a King's ransome' I suggested
'Not that Canute Guy' She said
'No' I replied, 'He is History'
'Why, was He unreliable too'
Fook Me I was Hurting now--You know, the rib pains you got when stifling laughter in embarrassing circumstances.
'No' I said He just aint available but me mates are'
'Oh goody' She answered-- 'So we can do this thing then'

So I got Me Mate Duncan to retrieve our little 4 metre Searider from Dinorwic Marina to act as the' Tender Too'

So I am parked on a mooring off the said beach at Moelfre
Where the Luvvies wanted to lob their crew and cameras and sound gear etc etc and The Partirdge bird!

I saw Duncan arrive
'Oh ****e Dunc' I thought
As He charged down the steep shingle beach to the low water area
OK
You will get the peeps in with their Gear Etc an bring em out to Me
But you will be fecked M8 getting the 4 wheel drive pickup back off the 'Beach' that's fer sure!
So we got the Luvvies aboard with equipment etc
And then they wanted to catch up to the Dive ribs
But I thought I would stall the Gig a bit
'Point yer cameras etc at the Beach' says I
So they did, cos I was in Command by now;)
Well, fair play to Dunc, He made a Heroic attempt at regaining hard ground!
But no chance
But more of that later!
So off I went with 2 divers 2 Film crew and a Director/Producer (still not sure!) and the Game Bird to the dive site of the Royal Charter
We met the dive Pros
Yep, I must admit
I was impressed with them
Listening to their brief and dive pattern stuff etc etc before they submerged
So
Then I was left with the Luvvies again!
Plus the Pro Guys on the two dive ribs left afloat
So I had a 'hamlet' moment and a coffee and phoned swmbo
'What yer up too'? She said
'Oh just floatin about off Moelfre on the Dive Gig I mentioned'
'Ok' She replied
'don't forget you have to take me to a Hospital appointment @ 15.00 hours U.T.C' she said
Don't ferget I have trained Her in current Nautical Terms!
So
****e I thought , this Gig is running late!
WTF to do
And by now the wind has changed and its wind against tide shortly
Not a prob for the Aircraft R.I.B to get Home from said dive site
But I have to go soon!
So
Me M8 Dunc brings another 'Crew' to replace Me
So thats ok
But He was in the 4 metre Searider
An said Crew
I must explain
The Dive Site was sheltered
So no prob there and decanting the Luvvies an kit later as it appraoched High Water
But we had to sod off so I could get Enid to Her hospital stuff
And sort the stricken Mitsubishi 'Animal' pickup out and the stranded avon Searider Trailer
Which we did
So
I sodded off to to sort swmbo out
BUT
I had left a new Crew Member on a boat he was not all that familiar with (or the Area)
But I briefed Him on what was What etc
And the Partridge
So yer worries a bit
I knew by the time he had to return to harbour that the F5 gusting 7 and wind against tide would be a bit snotty
Kicking up some short seas with some 10ft chops in some areas
I said to Dunc
Text Me when He gets back please
Which He did
Text read
'Span is back, on a bit of High but He Shat himself

But reckons that the Partridge Bird is 'On'!
She only came back through the rough ****e with Him fair play
So the Moral of the Story is?
Feck Me I aint sure
But

All I can say

Span lost His Virginity in more ways than One:D
 
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