Just Up Your Street

[Lakesailor]

Ok. Go to it.
[ QUOTE ]
The tourist board has turned cupid and launched a competition to find the most romantic Valentine's message which will be engraved on the Lake District Love Stone a one-tonne hunk of Cumbrian mountain to be unveiled on Valentine's Day.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know you'll do us proud. Whole article

 

[ValleyForge]

Nice Car - Has it got wire wheels ?

 

[Lakesailor]

The Pink thing. Believe it or not it's a scalextric car. Wouldn't dare paint ours that colour.
There is a StreetKa that colour around here. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[jhr]

Oh, to be in Cumbria, now that April's here.
I'm scratching - on this boulder - a note for you, my dear.
To demonstrate my passion, I'm writing on this rock,
And I'll be round at six 'o clock, to charm you with my personality.

 

[Phoenix of Hamble]

James.... thats is simply brilliant.... you are so wasted in HR!

 

[Lakesailor]

How big is this rock? /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif

 

[jhr]

Au contraire

I find that a little verse can give a lift to the most unpromising scenario.

Although it grieves me quite a lot
To give unwelcome news,
The time has come: you're on the spot
I'd not be in your shoes.
For months your work has failed to please
There is no going back
My final words to you are these:
"We're giving you the sack"

/forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Lakesailor]

I look far across the lake
To see the beauty there
But when I look around
I hope you are all bare

 

[Lakesailor]

I pledge my endless love of you
Upon this dirty boulder
But I wouldn't mind a shag
'fore we get much older.

 

[jhr]

Alternative version, for ratepayers of ambivalent sexual orientation:

This rock on which I pledge my vows
Is rugged, firm and manly.
I'd like to dawdle there for hours
With you, and my mate Stanley

 

[Lakesailor]

I swear that this is true my love,
I carve it on this rock.
But only you can see that
it's but a mossy block.
If I leave my seed
In this woeful crack
Will you lick it up and
Swallow it all back?

 

[Appleyard]

"beneath these stones
lies Mary Jones
indeed it is no wonder
for these are not the only stones
that Mary Jones lay under"

 

[Twister_Ken]

Right a pome for Vally's day, writ on a rock.

Let's see, what rhymes with rock?

Mary, I'm from Scotland, I am a strapping jock
And Mary dear, I love you, let me stroke your frock
Will you, Mary, marry me, Saturday at one o'clock
Here on this pasture green, beneath this one-tonne rock
Say you will, please say you will, Mary do not mock
I'll have my best kilt ironed to help your heart unlock
I'll wear a white shirt and tie with a picture of a flock
Of sheep, and on my feet a pair of woollen sock
I'll bring wine and whisky, in a sturdy iron crock
A roasted goose and tatties, pease pudding and a hock
Of finest bacon, a picnic wedding breakfast guaranteed to shock
Lakeland's gormless shepherds, in their gaiters and their smock
And a pig's head with pointy ears just like that Mr Spock
A piper to charm your ears, playing music by Luigi Bocch
erini, and tunes from foreign parts - Berlin and old Bangkok
And afterwards we’ll sail the lakes in a steamer from the dock
Then in the honeymoon hotel later your knees will surely knock
When I lift my kilt and drop my drawers and let you kiss my lips.

 

[Lakesailor]

cock. No, it works. Was that just poetic licence then? Or are you alluding to being a lady-boy.........erm, but the other way around.

 

[CliveSmith]

Rose's are red,
Violet's are blue,
You don't wear any,
Which is why I love you.

 

[Bejasus]

you and me,
up a tree,
trying hard to make it three.

 

[longjohnsadler]

I understood our love was true
And you were plighted only to me
When in the words of the shipping forecast
You were blowing two or three.