Journey to the dark side

Nick_H

Nick_H

Well-Known Member
Joined
20 Apr 2004
Messages
7,660
www.ybw-boatsforsale.com
As our boats out of the water for a while having port engine repaired we decided to grab a weeks holiday in the med, and will join a flotilla SAILING through the greek islands. We've never sailed before so I don't know if we'll be captivated by the tranquility, invigorated by the challenge, or bored rigid by the pace of it.

I've been given some sailing terms to practice before I go:

"You're making too much wash"
"You're going too fast"
"I haven't filled up with diesel since 1982"
"Excuse me harbourmaster, could you send someone out to ask this boat right next to me to switch off their generator please"
"Enjoy your night out, did I mention we want to leave the inside of this raft at 4 am."

Any others I should practice?
 
Ah yes...

Don't forget to look grumpy and ignore any one who wishes you good morning/day/evening.

Shout out ... Power gives way to sail

Come into your berth at full tilt and bow first, then crash stop hoping not to hit the pontoon.

Refuse to let ANY power vessel raft alongside
 
Simulate looking glum going backwards while covering yourself with Conny milk and Fray Bentos.
Oh yes, and practice the phrase "four knots and flying".
 
Oy!!! Watch it!! About to start another war you can't win!! We are not all miserable Gits!! Some of us are very nice folk! Not including myself in that statement and yes, you DO MAKE TOO MUCH EFFIN WASH!!!!!
 
flotilla sailing eh?

"oh heck, it's that idiot again"
"no, the other idiot"
"I am getting a bit sick of each boat calling their name three times even just when asking for berthing instructions"
"so let's be clear about this, we're going to have a one-hour briefing for a two-hour sail, is that right?"
"righty ho, we're meeting at the most ghastly skanky restaurant in town - presumably cos it's the ONLY one that can get biz by giving flotilla crew free food, yes?"
"actually, mr engineer, I DO know how to start an outboard, but this one has no fuel in it, see?"
 
Have a great time and enjoy the experience. Winds tend to be light in the morning freshening up to F4/5 in the afternoons before quieting down in the evening. My tip is to check out how the reefing gear works and practice doing it while the wind is still quiet. A lot of people find sailing leaning right over is not fun and the boats generally go just as fast with less canvas aloft.
 
This is like sleeping on a park bench thats tipped over!
Where is that newspaper? (for bed and toilet)
Can I have some more slats for my bunk?
Waddya mean I can't shower for two weeks!
I'm bloody soaked through - again!
This toilet [--word removed--] stinks
I hate the taste of Camden tablets
I hate the taste of corned beef
I hate the smell of sick

Then there's the genre of saying that all start with "I say, you, Paahboater"...
Slow that damn thing down
Get away with those stinking exhaust pots
Mind your wash
No you cant raft that [--word removed--] gin palace up to my yacht
Can you spare me some fresh water (for nothing)
Can you tow me in (for nothing)
Can you fix my engine (for nothing)

Then there's the dress code....why they call us "stinkies" is beyond me! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Did the same thing two years ago, loved it.

Only saw one mobo in the week, a Princess V40

Do however take some basic provisions, soap, toilet rolls, coffee, tea, chocolate, basic foodstuff etc. Very limited availability over there and what's there can be expensive.

Think most boats have holding tanks that can really stink. In our flotilla about 1/3rd really had a problem with this. Take strong bleach/air fresheners just in case.

Take CD’s to play on the boat.

Food and drink in restaurants can be very good value, especially if you like fish.

Most of our flotilla had sailed before, some owning yachts in the UK. I didn’t confess to owning a mobo until the last night. Very funny!
 
You will have to dump the silly faux-naval cap and stop pretending to be a sailor. Baseball caps are also out, unless you really are under twenty. Even if you are under twenty, the baseball cap has to have the peak towardssa the front.

Be very careful; as you may find that the sea is wet.
 
It may also be worth noting that yachty types tend to have an expectation that you will actually keep a look out for where you are going. This is what they call a 'watch'.
 
''Just shut up and ENJOY IT. We are doing this for pleasure ! "

''I KNOW that nothing goes to windward like a 757 ,that's not the point is it ? , IS IT ?''
 
[ QUOTE ]

Take CD’s to play on the boat.


[/ QUOTE ] Cos there won't be anything else to do, will there?

Oh forgot. Put your MOBO in the For Sale columns, because you probably won't want it when you get back
 
[ QUOTE ]

Oh forgot. Put your MOBO in the For Sale columns, because you probably won't want it when you get back

[/ QUOTE ]

A very good and important point.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Top