Jokes

[andyb]

A guy walks into restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time".
So he orders French toast during the Renaissance.

Whilst talking with my neighbor, I saw six men punching and kicking my mother-in-law.my neighbor said, "are you going to help?" I said, " No six should be enough."

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[Clive_Rigden]

A very good looking lady walks into a pub.
The barman asks her what she wants and she replies,
"I'll have a double entendre please".
So, the barman gave her one.

<hr width=100% size=1>Khyber

 

[Lightnup]

A guy gets home from work, plops in his favourite chair, turns on the T.V. and says, "Honey, bring me a beer before it starts." 10 minutes later, "Honey, bring me another beer before it starts."
She yells, "Are you going to just sit there and drink beer all night?"
He says, "See, it's starting already."


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[Clive_Rigden]

Ho - Ho !
/forums/images/icons/smile.gif

<hr width=100% size=1>Khyber

 

[KevB]

Teacher to class - What does your dad do at the weekends?

Little Johnny - He's a dancer in a gay bar and sometimes if the money's right he lets the punters slap his arse and touch his privates.

Teacher pulling Johnny aside - is that true?

Johnny - No miss, the truth is he goes to watch Chelsea but I'm too embarrased to say!

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://static.photobox.co.uk/public/images/45/99/10714599.s.jpg?ch=97&rr=16:00:39>Nirvana</A>

 

[janeK]

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.

BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident".. I just
lost it."

"CASE DISMISSED!!"



<hr width=100% size=1>If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.

 

[Lightnup]

Doc says, "I don't like the looks of your wife."

Hubby replies, "I don't either doc but she's a fair cook and she's good with the kids."

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