Joke to start the week.

[Forbsie]

A shepherd was looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road.
Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a young Man
dressed in an Armani suit, Ray Bans, Tag Heuer watch, White Cerutti shoes,
tailor-made mauve shirt, with a Boss tie.
He gets out and asks the shepherd 'If I can guess how many sheep you have,
can I keep one?'
The shepherd looks at the large flock of sheep and says 'Okay'.
The young man connects his laptop to his mobile phone/fax, enters the NASA
website, scans the field using his GPS, opens the database linked to 60
Excel tables, filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out
a 150 page report on his high tech mini printer. He studies the reports and says
to the shepherd 'You have 1586 sheep'.
The shepherd replies, "That's correct. You can have the pick of my flock."
The young man packs away his equipment, looks at the flock and puts one
into the boot of the Porsche.
As he is about to leave, the Shepherd says, "If I can guess what your
profession is will you return the animal to me?'
The young man thinks for a minute and says 'Okay'.
The shepherd says 'You are a Management Consultant'.
The young man says' Correct, how did you know?'
The Shepherd replied, 'Simple. First you came here without being invited.
Second you charge me a fee for something I already knew. Third, you don't
understand anything about my business.'
Now, can I have my dog back?'


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[trev]

so TRUE, so TRUE !!

Trev

 

[jimi]

Possibly in bad taste....


Stars in their Eyes.................



Tonight Matthew I'm going to be: Rolf Harris, and i'm going to do "Two little boys".

 

[byron]

<font color=blue>I think management consultants are wonderful. One came to see me once to tell me how I could make money. He got quite arsey when I asked him the value of his house, car and yacht. The other ones that give me the ache are marketing people. Look at any debacle this century, including Royal Mail & British Airways and it was a marketing consultant who started it, then the advertising agency has to step back in and try and get the name back to where it was.

http://www.alexander-advertising.co.uk

 

[qsiv]

Ah yess - they're the ones who tell you the time using your watch, and charge for the privilege ..

 

[sailbadthesinner]

i thought british airways was all the fault of a certain poster here??????

I never eat on an empty stomach. i like to hear the food splash as it hits

 

[Forbsie]

Who's that then?

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[sailbadthesinner]

coliholic
i am sure he worked for BA at some point
and it can't be a coincidence surely ;-)

I never eat on an empty stomach. i like to hear the food splash as it hits

 

[sailbadthesinner]

ooh cant say



I never eat on an empty stomach. i like to hear the food splash as it hits

 

[wakeup]

BA

not to mention Learner also worked for BA, oh damn Ijust did!

Save a cow, eat a vegetarian.

 

[sailbadthesinner]

Re: BA

s'allright noone's listening

I never eat on an empty stomach. i like to hear the food splash as it hits

 

[ccscott49]

Very funny!!!

 

[Forbsie]

Damn!!

I've just received a whole page of these but they are unsuitable for this board.

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[cngarrod]

Tell me about it... not suitable for a family friendly forum... but very funny all the same

Cheers,

Craig.