Is it best to sit or be a man

[ponapay]

and stand, when peeing that is.

I was alwayss taught that on small boats (less than 100 tons) that gentlemen should sit to avoid making a mess during the unintentional gybes or unannounced tacks.

In my boat's joining instructions this is spelt out clearly but I am fed up with crew that don't follow the rules.

Has anyone tried securing the seat down to ensure that gentlemen sit?


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[Maurice55]

I bet they'll wonder why it's fixed, piss on the seat and then read the instructions !!
Happy new year !!!
Maurice.

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[HeadMistress]

How to train the crew

Make the crew clean the head. They'll either decide to sit in the future, or refuse to sail with you again. Either way, your problem is solved.

<hr width=100% size=1>Peggie Hall
Specializing in marine sanitation since 1987

 

[pugwash]

I met a boat in NZ that had a cushion on the floor in front of the heads, like asmall prayer mat ,embroidered with the words: "Gentlemen please kneel. " It seemed to work. We have the same rule in our boat without the cushion.

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[ccscott49]

get a piece of 2x2 wood and beat it into them, to sit down, they will eventually learn.

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[VicS]

The person for whom I have crewed for a good few years hands male guests a diagram of matchstick man kneeling at the loo headed " How to connect male plumbing to ships plumbing"

Sitting never seems to provide the same degree of satisfaction.

<hr width=100% size=1><font color=purple>Ne te confundant illegitimi.</font color=purple>

 

[LadyInBed]

Could be a bit painful siting on a stanchion !!
Anyhow, don’t you have a funnel and hose rigged to your cock-pit-drain /forums/images/icons/blush.gif


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[Abigail]

On Roaring Girl, we advise gentlmen visitors that the loo top is liable to come down suddenly and viciously. They sit, though we don't mind if they kneel.

<hr width=100% size=1>Sarah&Pip

 

[Peppermint]

Re:Real men

piddle over the side when at sea. The US Coast Guard pick a few out of the water and call them DFU's (Drowned Flies Undone). It's a form of natural selection.

No one else found their bracers a bit damp after sitting down then.

A friend had a pair of foulie trousers with a kind of elephants trunk device for the male member. This was supposed to get around the perenial problem of peeing when your fully kitted up. I don't know who modeled for the designer but it made everyone else feel very small.

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[snowleopard]

once saw a notice in a head:

"You can't get a hole in one on a golf course so what makes you think you can do it here? Please sit down"

on our cat we have walk-through heads amidships. to make it possible to walk past, the toilets are raised on platforms where the topsides flare out. a fold-down step is provided for sitters but for standers the extra height makes it hard to miss.

a forehead cushion on the bulkhead enables you to brace youself while using both hands and brings you nearer to the target.

your chances of persuading a man in full oilies to strip & sit are minimal!

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[Mirelle]

The Voice of Authority!

Thank you, Peggie.

You cannot quite stand up in our heads, and the loo seat will not stay up, due to cupboard behind it. You must kneel or sit. QED.

<hr width=100% size=1>Que scais-je?

 

[ianwright]

There is another way,,,

Solo sailors and lone watchkeepers may like to consider the advantages of peeing down a cockpit drain. It doesn't matter a lot if you miss, does it?
Sorry Peggie, men only!

Ian

<hr width=100% size=1>Vertue 203, Patience

 

[MainlySteam]

Re: There is another way,,,

And I seem to remember that Spike Milligan, at least, was of the view that a piece of an old bicycle tube down the trouser leg and permanently plumbed onto the manly end was very useful for such matters too.

John

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[bob_tyler]

Re: There is another way,,,

My shrouds are the correct distance apart to lean on while peeing on the lee side.

What other option is there!

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[HeadMistress]

Outdoor vs indoor plumbing

Hello, Ian m'love!

Those of you that nature equipped with "outdoor plumbing" have it so much easier than we do. If I tried to use a cockpit drain, I'd end up with wet shoes...if I tried to use the lee rail, I'd prob'ly fall overboard!

<hr width=100% size=1>Peggie Hall
Specializing in marine sanitation since 1987

 

[charles_reed]

Better by far..

Cut tip off teated condom - place open end over flexible catheter tube - lead tube down leg amd preferably outside boot.

Stay on deck and pee in situ (and avoid being MOB).

I still occasionally do it when single handing in >F6.

For women I've even been known to heave to, because going to the loo standing up or sitting down in a seaway is major challenge.

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[ianwright]

Re: Outdoor vs indoor plumbing

"...if I tried to use the lee rail, "

I met a lady at a yacht club in Amsterdam who said that it could be done, but this is probably not the forum to repeat her advice, even if I could bring it to mind,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Ian.


<hr width=100% size=1>Vertue 203, Patience

 

[peterb]

Condoms

I'm told that the late Sir Peter Blake (of Steinlager fame) used to tell the story of how he arranged such a system so that the young Kiwis lining the side of his boat could evacuate the liquid resulting from the consumption of 'tinnies' without losing their usefulness as ballast. He realised that geriatric gentlemen having leakage problems could be fitted with purpose-designed condoms with tubing attached, normally feeding into a container. He removed the container and extended the tube so that it emerged between the boot and the oilies. The trouble was that only after it was first used did he realise that elderly gentlemen also have a reduced flow problem, that the tube diameter was calculated to allow for this, and that young and lusty Kiwis loaded with tinnies have a flow that certainly can't be called reduced ..........!

 

[HeadMistress]

Re: Outdoor vs indoor plumbing

I know how it CAN be done--and I've done it...but only at anchor, and only at night when no other boats were behind mine. Any other time would be likely to start a chorus of "By the light of the silvery moon!"

<hr width=100% size=1>Peggie Hall
Specializing in marine sanitation since 1987

 

[charles_reed]

Immense hydroseal

control is required, whatever the age, or the whole lot is forced off at its beginning.

The look of static concentration is a dead give-away

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