I'm really surprised

Rowana

Two steps lower than the ships' cat
Joined
17 Apr 2002
Messages
6,132
Location
NE Scotland
I\'m really surprised

We haven't had any paddy stories today seeing how it's St Pat's day (and my youngest daughter's 14th)

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snowleopard

Active member
Joined
16 May 2001
Messages
33,647
Location
Cornwall
Re: I\'m really surprised

ok, you've twisted my arm....

pat & mick were walking down to the dole office when they saw a sign saying "Tree fellers wanted"

mick turns to pat and says "it's a pity sean's not with us or we could have got that job".
 

Das_Boot

New member
Joined
26 Nov 2004
Messages
1,432
Location
UK north East
Re: I\'m really surprised

A friend of mine who worked at TIP FM had to cover a council meeting in Limerick the storey goes...
Apparantly some councillers had decided it would be good idea to put Gondolers on the river. This was to attract tourists to the area.
After much argument they took a vote on the motion which was passed.
With this one of the councilers that had been apposed jumped up and shouted It is all well and fine having Gondolers on the bloody river but who is going to feed them.
Think it is a bit of an urban myth but quite funny.
 

jhr

Well-known member
Joined
26 Nov 2002
Messages
20,261
Location
Royston Vasey
Re: I\'m really surprised

Corny but true:

A few years back, we were in Western Ireland for a family wedding (SWMBO is originally from Derry). We'd booked a B&B for the night, near Sligo, and were driving around the Town, completely lost. We were so lost, that I stopped and asked for directions which, being a typical man and a master navigator, I would normally only do if my life were in imminent peril.

The guy that we asked for directions took off his cap, scratched his head and began: "Ah well, ye see, if I were going there, I wouldn't have started from here................."

I love Ireland!
 

tugboat

New member
Joined
1 May 2004
Messages
1,475
Location
Devon
Re: I\'m really surprised

Irish driving instructor is explaining to learner the meaning of yellow lines beside the road.
Dotted yellow lines - no parking
Single yellow line - no parking at all
Double yellow lines - no parking at all at all!
 

sailorman

Well-known member
Joined
21 May 2003
Messages
78,838
Location
Here or thertemp ashore
Re: I\'m really surprised

An Englishman on holiday in Ireland wanted his copy of the Sun newspaper, he went into the local paper shop & asks for “the Sun” please, well said the shopkeeper, and do you want to-days or yesterdays. Well to-days of course! Said the holiday maker, in that case said the shopkeeper can you come back tomorror /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif


(english papers a day late there ) /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
 

Stemar

Well-known member
Joined
12 Sep 2001
Messages
21,690
Location
Home - Southampton, Boat - Gosport
Re: I\'m really surprised

Told to me in County Wiclow:

Times are hard in Ireland. Mick and Sean get fed up with working in the peat bogs of Kerry and decide to emigrate to Australia. To be accepted they have be be interviewed. Mick goes in first and a few minutes later comes out beaming with that essential piece of paper.

Sean is next. Mr Aussie explains that thety can only take people who have useful skills. "So what do you do for a living Mr Flaherty?"

"I'm a peat cutter."

"Ah, well now, that's a problem. We haven't got any peat bogs in Australia. I don't think we'll be able to take you."

"But you took Mick"

"Yes, but he's a pilot. In a country the size of Australia we need all the pilots we can get"

"But how's he going to pile it if I don't cut it?"
 

dulcibella

Active member
Joined
26 Jun 2003
Messages
1,157
Location
Portsmouth, UK
Re: I\'m really surprised

Seamus, we want you to dig us a hole for a swimming pool.
What, all on me own?
We'll give you a JCB.
You can keep your f****** medal, I'm not doing it!
 

oldharry

Well-known member
Joined
30 May 2001
Messages
9,782
Location
North from the Nab about 10 miles
Re: I\'m really surprised

True story while cycling in Ireland 2 years ago:

Ah well, the trouble with goin' up that hill is that whenever you get to the top theres more of it to climb...!
 

peterb

New member
Joined
16 May 2001
Messages
2,834
Location
Radlett, Herts
Re: I\'m really surprised

And I had the classic line actually happen when I went to an Irish pub only to be told "Sorry, we don't open till 6, but come in and have a drink while you're waiting".
 
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